Does your significant other mix you up with his ex?

[Anonymous]

When I first started dating my guy, he often would mix me up with his ex that he had broken up with a few months before we met. He'd say things like, oh remember when we went here, then realize he was talking about the wrong girl. Now we're married and he recently did it again, started talking about a trip to a local city I've never been to, looking at me as though he's talking about us, saying 'yeah, we stayed at this hotel that was great when we went' when he realized the person he stayed with wasn't me... and when I looked at him in confusion, he just stopped talking and it got really awkward, and the people around us noticed his screw up and got quiet (I heard somebody next to me say "well that was awkward")

I've never mixed up where I've been and what I've done with him vs. my own exes, so I find it weird that he does this... and that it still crops up now that we're married! Is this just a guy thing?

[selfishstars]

Occasionally. I've known my boyfriend for 8 years. We've been together for 5 years, and he was with his ex for the 3 years before that (and him and I were just friends).

Human memory isn't that great sometimes. There are things that a person may have done in the past with an ex that might seem like something they would have done with their current partner. Or sometimes we remember the feelings associated with a memory more than we remember the details, and since we now associate those positive feelings with our current partner, our brains can play tricks on us and cause us to think that that moment probably occurred with our current partner.

It doesn't bother me if this happens---it's just a mistake and it has nothing to do with the way he feels about his ex, nor does it suggest any negative feelings toward me. I just teasingly say something like, "Uhh.. that wasn't me," or "Must have been one of your other girlfriends."

[Asker]

Thanks, this helps!

[Gettinghelp]

Nope... He does things like forget that he told me about stuff already, but he's never mixed me or memories up with an ex.

Maybe you should talk to him about since it hurts you so much?

Its also kind of rude on his part

[webboy]

well it is posibal that he is a bit dumb/slow, my wife would kill me if I did that but if has been a few years there is a chance he is cheating on you and he just can't keep his storys strait. I am not saying that he is cheating but have you ever thaught that he could be?

[Asker]

He is 100% not cheating on me!

[Asker]

Just to add to that, he was referencing sometime in the past with an ex, just forgetting he went with his ex and not me. I know that with certainty, he has never cheated on me and prob never would, he's absolutely not that type of guy. I wouldn't have married him if he was!

It's just an annoying verbal slip up that hurts because it makes me feel like I wasn't all that unique or different from the previous girl. He married me so obviously I am, it's just annoying when he slips up like this

[webboy]

as I said he may not be cheating on you but I just don't think I would ever mix up somthing I did with a prevous girlt, I would be shot for starters and its kinda rude

[KarKingJack]

LOOOOOLLLLLL, I'VE DONE THAT

FUUUUUCK. Its a bad scene. It must just be how his mind works. You know how some guys say the wrong name in bed? Stuff like that.

[KarKingJack]

Its no reflection on you, don't worry. My family do it all the time. My mum did it with me earlier today, actually, and it ended up being my grandmother. And I did it the other day, with my mum, and it was my ex-girlfriend.There's no correlation or connection, its just sometimes when your close to someone, you can blur it a bit. I can't explain it

[dudeman]

cant say this has happened id probably leave her if she did