Eventually the same behaviors went on, and more started, so instead of me communicating, I just observed & built up a lot of resentment over a number of months. I decided in my head the relationship maybe wasn’t right for me & that I would end it, but there wasn’t a right moment for me so it went on several more months. It got to the point where he eventually & finally noticed how unhappy I was. It was so unfair of me to have waited this long. We finally addressed some issues, but there were just so many it was too late at this point. He’d had no idea I was unhappy bc I kept it to myself.
He broke up w me, has already moved on & im heartbroken. I should’ve just spoke up but I didn’t know what to do. I have to see him almost constantly at work so I have panic attacks nightly thinking about it. It’s too late to mend things & he’s moved on.
What do I do? I feel terrible. If I had just spoken up things would’ve worked. How do I get over this? I don’t think I’ll be able to date again for years
i was so shy/insecure in the relationship it was impossible for me to do anything
The past is a place of reference, not residence. Meaning that what’s done is done, and there’s no use dwelling over the things you did wrong, because that serves you no positive purpose. All you can do is learn from your mistakes and not remake them going forward. A big issue I noticed here was that he is your coworker — I would advise don’t do that again. Breakups are hard enough when you don’t have to see that person everyday. Unless you love that job then maybe consider working elsewhere. I’m not saying run from the problem, but protecting your mental health comes first and horrible panic attacks/anxiety/etc are just not worth it. Also, forgive yourself. You’re human, and you make mistakes. At least you are acknowledging there is a problem, so work towards addressing it. Whether it’s journaling, therapy, etc. For all you know you’re still reeling from a past experience and that trauma pops up in random ways. The last thing you want is to make your partner pay for something an ex did.