What should I do about my manipulative ex who won't delete my nudes?

[victoria5475]

Hello. First post on this site, so I don't really know how everything works.

I recently broke up with a guy who manipulated me into thinking he was trans, like me. The relationship lasted off and on for about a year, until an online friend found out he was catfishing me and I broke it off yesterday. The big issue is, I was stupid enough to send him nudes, and quite a few at that. We were both underage when the relationship started (I turned 18 in June 2021, he in May). I told him directly that I expect him to delete any and all of those pics, and he has refused. I worry that if I go to the police, I would get in trouble since I'm the one who took those pictures when I was underage. I'm starting a new job soon, and I don't want my employer finding out about any of this. Of course I'll never send another nude again, but I can't change the past.

[SamA_nold]

Was your face in any of the pictures?

You, on your end, since you are now over 18, would not likely be charged with anything (at most maybe a fine), since it's "after the fact". However, the guy could face serious penalties if he is reported and found to be in possession of what is now child pornography. If he attempts to distribute any of those photos, he would face serious punishments, and would be quickly shut down by authorities. Most likely, he is using it as a means of blackmail, and reacting to his attempts to scare you only plays into his plan. Let him know that he is the one committing the crime here, and then ignore his blackmail attempts. Keep any interactions you have with him professional and mature (so that if something happens, you will appear as the good guy), and don't say more than you need to. Short and simple, if at all.

In the future, if you do send nudes, always make sure your face is not visible, as well as anything that might make it obvious that you are the subject of the photo. Only do so with someone you know and trust, and if you are that worried, make up some written agreement (and screenshot it), so that if anything happens in the future, you have a legal case.

For example:
"If we break up, you'll delete my pictures, right?"
"Yes, of course."

If the person doesn't delete your photos, they've broken a contract with you, which doesn't look good in law.

[victoria5475]

Yes, my face was in some of the photos. I'm never sending nudes again. Do I need to keep the originals that are on my laptop to prove their origin if it becomes a legal case?

[SamA_nold]

No. You delete all photos from your end, including any backup drives or storage. It may be your body, but it is you underage and naked. It would still be considered possession, and you could be held accountable for distribution

[victoria5475]

Thanks

[TommyMountainFigure]

I wouldn't suggest your first point of call be the police in this case either. You first need to know where you stand legally. Either look the information up yourself according to the laws where you live, or go see a lawyer (Pick one who gives a free consultation) Once you are satisfied of any potential legal implications, THEN go to the police.

One thing's for sure.. You've learned your lesson about sending out photos.. right?

[victoria5475]

Yes, I've learned my lesson on that. I'm in Illinois, USA. Now I just have to hope my boss doesn't find out about any of this.

[TommyMountainFigure]

I'm no expert on social media sites, but can't you just close one account down then make another one, just inviting people you trust?

[TommyMountainFigure]

There is no link between your job and the person who has your photos then.. or can you not do that?

[Adam1978]

Nothing, accept your mistakes and move on and hope it doesn't bit you in the butt in the future.

[I_want_a_moustache]

I don’t dream that often and when I do it’s nightmares and the last one I had was a nightmare it was something about school and apples.

[I_want_a_moustache]

Oops I think I posted this on the wrong thing. But you should call the cops. Unless you have a warrant or something.

[TheFlak38]

I love how women always play the victim to get into a position of power. Now trannies do the same thing. Communist oppression olympics are hilarious.

[rcljr]

Report him or her for revenge porn

[888theGreat]

You have to pay for had decisions

[Agape93]

Call the police.

[xiphantom]

call the cops