Do you believe that sometimes, not having closure is a closure?

[certifiedalphafemale]

I don't see the point why people need closure when all it will do is just prove you wrong and waste your time, knowing that you can do more important things.

[btbc92]

The closure is having the ability to know the TRUTH so you can move on. Without knowing the truth, the person can go on all their lives making the same mistakes and not understanding what can be done. People like me need closure so we won't keep pushing, hoping, begging, etc to be with a person or to have people in our lives who probably never wanted us to begin with. Especially for us who suffer from abuse and abandonment.

However, how and why you need closure besides how you handle it can affect what you gain from it. Not having closure isn't always closure. Because anybody can not give you closure and they never closed the chapter either. They will just keep you guessing until they one day might say after let's say 20 years "They've always loved you." YET, you got mistreated. You may have mistreated them, you got hurt, you hurt them, and ALL of that could have been resolved IF you had closure. It brings nothing but confusion. WORSE if you reinvited the person back in your life or you cross paths again. You need to know to avoid potential issues in the future. Otherwise, it is a long chapter that never got closed, and the next thing you know, you back involved with the said person AGAIN. Saw this plenty of times with friends and family who never got closure. It only made things worse. Especially when they wanted to move on to other people. And they couldn't. WHY? Because again, they had, no CLOSURE.

What I see people do WRONG when they give or handle closure is over-explaining when they simply didn't have to. All they have to do is tell the person what they needed to know. They don't always have to know the why if they are just going to attempt to beg you back when you already know for certain that it's over. Why is it why I encourage people to always give closure, for themselves and themselves? Because it saves you from guilt and a possible loss of life if not just livelihood and you are both supposed to be good people. If people cannot understand how much they impact others with their choices, then sometimes relationships are not for them because without the closure, again, it can pose issues. I still can't move on over what others I grew so close to, that I invested so much in friendships have done because they never gave me closure. When I was able to somewhat move on when I got the closure and I was able to be set free from those people. The problem with people who don't always want to give you closure is, they may be the wrong people who want you to hang on just for them to feel good about it while your suffering still.

[Anonymous]

Being in a long term relationship is a major investment of your time and heart. Someone just walking away from that with no real explanation can understandably be devastating. I think the no closure can be closure thing only works in those situations once you've gotten over or have been able to manage and heal from the heartbreak. I don't think a sane and rational person would just wake up the next day and be like, I'm perfectly fine with what happened to me and have no issues with being abandoned with no explanation whatsoever. You could also legitimately be "the problem," and having that explanation as much as it may hurt to hear that, may actually help you in future relationships. Now short term things, I mean, in this day and age, you just sort of have to have an expectation that that can happen with ghosting being a thing and it may be easier to have this type of attitude.

[The_Outlaw]

Sometimes no closure is probably for the best, but personally, no. I'd rather have an answer than be left wondering WTF happened. For example, did I do something wrong here? There? Anywhere? Could I have maybe averted this? That? Could I have helped this person more? Saved a potential relationship? Just too many unanswered questions there.

[OlderAndWiser]

"Closure" comes from an emotional need and cannot be understood on the basis of logic or rational thought processes.

[Sincerly_KittyCat]

I think the end of a relationship is the best closure. It does not matter why did what they did or what that person thinks anymore bevause you're not with them. Move on. Personally I dont care as soon as we are over, I dont know you, unless you can do something for me.

[haooy]

Yeah, I have ghosted so many people because I used to think that way, not just in relationship, but my friends and family sometimes. I used to think that it is a drag to explain it to them and they probably won't understand. It's comfortable for the person who is doing it but it may leave some disturbing memory to the other person.
I wouldn't want to do it anymore so, I don't believe in it anymore.

[boggboss]

Closure is overrated people claim they need it to move on yet rarely it it needed just feels easier that way

[Drzen]

It's important at least for us but women would never say I left you because I found better deal and I don't care about you emotions your struggles your broke heart and I throw every moment we had and every effort you did make for this new deal which has mercedes Benz and more cash

[Livewire3]

If you are talking about a situation that doesn't resolve, it may be. Sometimes it is more important to realize that change is not something we want to spend any more time waiting on.

[SomeGuyCalledTom]

I don't like to leave loose ends. Although I can begrudgingly accept that closure is mostly illusory. But I still feel somehow better when I get it, anyways.

[FilmGuy93]

Sometimes people just need to hear it for themselves. I know that in my case, closure would've been nice simply to know that I wasn't imagining things.

[Wester1967]

Get over it. Use your imagination on how it might have turned out. You don’t owe anyone anything when you’ve split with them

[loveslongnails]

"Closure" is for people who don't realize the fat lady has already sung, and Elvis has left the building.

[Pj1981]

I mean it kind of is but at the same time I have been driven crazy with questions I really feel I need answers too and will never get.

[FoghornLeghorn99]

Some things are not possible to gain closure like the death of a child.


The key is acceptance.

You can't change the past. You need to accept that fact.

[jasco]

You be surprised on how much healing a hug can do, never know till ya try it

[Asianguy123]

I called psychic medium and she helped me some closure. Maybe you should try

[ItsMeItsMe1989]

no, i don't