Single motherhood, why aren't men playing their part in the children's lives too?

Question

DONT USE THE EXCUSE, that The court always side with the mother, or the child's mother doesn't want you to be involved. or that Father's rights is a joke. The only reason for father's rights being a Joke is because men aren't fighting enough for children. Men lose one battle in court and don't bother trying again. Don't use the excuse that the mother is making death threats
Or that she ran off with your child and is living in another city, town country or state. It is your Duty as the child's father to be involved in your child's life.

DaveJord · Accepted Answer

Let me tell you my man, your perspective is very limited. Children are so easily manipulated... so even when you fight the good fight mothers can make things near impossible for fathers. Its called Parental Alienation Syndrome, and if a women can get your visitation rights down to 0% then they can max out the child support. Because child support is based upon visitation. And children are weaponized in divorce proceedings and even the social workers and mediators will tell you that by law they are limited on what they can put in court documents, and the recommendations they can give to the courts... even when they can not substantiate the claims being made against you.

Even when they feel there are issues they have to act in the best interest of the child and when a child has been seriously brainwashed it might not be in their best interest to be force into visitation with you. Yes they will recommend joint counseling, or supervised visitation, but its just a recommendation and there is not always a means to force it... and its not always in the best interest of the child, based upon what the child has been programed to believe.

So your post completely makes excuses for women and is rather naïve to me... because its lacking any real understanding of the legal process. In this case I think the women more to blame and father rights are tramped and courts give you no clear process to dispute it, and women knows what she did to that child. Trust me its soul crushing... so fuck off with your dead beat father bull shit... some of these mothers are some evil bitches.

Heartache0405 · Accepted Answer

I heard a story where the father won custody of the child. He went to pickup th child from his ex wife who was already with another guy. They got into an argument, of course, and the ex wife's new guy went for his gun. They continued arguing, the dad got up in the other dude's face. Long story short, the dad was shot and killed. Kid lost his father who rightfully gained custody. I blame the ex wife and her new guy. Even if the father tries to and even is told he can be by a court of law he still gets the shitty end of the stick. In this case, loss of life. but who gives a fuck about men in a world where everything is about women, right?

Anonymous · Accepted Answer

It's funny how I can admit that there are some vengeful women out there who in a divorce or break-up will make up lies to hurt good men and play victim or deny their kids access to their dads, but as soon as you turn the tables around and say what about all the men who walk out on their biological children, or refuse to pay child support OR be a part of their lives...guys suddenly seem to blank out on this and play angel like all men are sooo good and no man has ever hurt a single woman physically or emotionally and it's somehow all the courts fault and on and on.

Single parenthood is a two way street and there are issues on both sides of it, but neither sex should sit here and pretend like they aren't aware of the issues or that they are so perfect and free from blame. And as I've said several times before...for all the men complaining about the broken legal system...where are you at the voting booth? Where are you defending your male friends in court and acting as witnesses to their good fatherhood, where are you when it comes to creating laws that would benefit GOOD FATHERS?!? Broken systems don't get fixed by doing nothing but complaining.

dovendyret · Accepted Answer

Mens rights are a joke, because in many places - the primary care giver of a child is still viewed as the mother. Which is a role that a mother accepts. I'm not saying, that there aren't good fathers out there, even plenty good SINGLE fathers who are the primary caregiver BUT it is still the woman who gets that role from society. Look at maternity/paternity leave (in countries with that).

The idea that women are more nurturing than men is also damaging this, since it's the mother - who most often nurtured the child, takes care of their appointments and so on. Again exception to the rule. & also why women are more likely to get abuse and neglect overlooked.

& you're right, men should fight harder - my mother fought her ass off for me & despite of rough conditions with her I am forever grateful. And men should step up as fathers. Yes obviously not every man - but the men who do.

Lionman95 · Answer

I think there could be a lot of reasons like their father not being at home. I grew up with a father but my father also didn´t play that much of a role in the first years of my life because he is the financial provider of the family.
Therefore it´s not always easy for a guy spending time with your kids in the time of day where you´re probably the tiredest.
I think for many guys also it´s problem that there connection with their kids have to build and grow over the years if they are not around over a steady amount of time they feel less of a connection or priority in them.

Oigit · Answer

It isn't really a excuse. People tend to focus more on the negatives then the positives. So the men who are doing their best to be part of their child's life and be the best father they can after a divorce will be glanced over. Simply because there are men that don't. Also a custody battle is going to be a uphill battle for a men despite a mothers behavior showing that she is clearly doing more harm then good. This is why their are lawyers and law firms that focus on male parenting and custody cases.

I know there are a lot of worth wile men out there that wish such things where not the truth. But we do have a lot of work to be done before it becomes less of a truth. It's also the kind of issue that men need to put their differences aside and unite to fix. Because it's going to take some serious number to make any kind of change. That and potentially having to pay child support for a kids that isn't theirs because they dated a single mom. It's already happened several times.

lrina · Answer

it's not always the man's fault. yeah, it's not rare for a man to leave when he accidentally got a girl pregnant but it's even more common for the woman to marry a man, have children, then divorce him for money. in that case it really wouldn't be the dad's fault.

DWornock · Answer

Except to enforce written agreement between the parties, the children should be awarded to the parent best able to support them, typically which ever has the highest income. And, regardless of who has the children, their should be no child support unless to support written agreement between the parties.

Flower7 · Answer

Usually once the dad gets a new woman and possibly new children, he no longer cares about the first woman or the original children.

ragooo8 · Answer

Either they didn't choose to be a father in the first place or the mother has used some very dirty tactics to keep the father out of their child's life.

genericname85 · Answer

well cause they don't get to decide that in most cases. the woman usually is treated preferentially in court. the men usually are allowed to pay alimony at best-

Hispanic-Cool-Guy · Answer

Single motherhood has several causes. You don't have no idea what went between two people behind closed doors and what led to what.

MrtoddsWildRide · Answer

I am a single Father and I share joint custody of my kids. I get them next week and can't wait

Anonymous · Answer

It is their duty? Ever thought of that they just wanted to play "hide the penis" and then go away?

MountAverage · Answer

I don't understand your poll options.

Zenit93 · Answer

Because women keep divorcing them.

jimmy2 · Answer

It sad that dad left home 30 years ago

zagor · Answer

Many are.

Single motherhood, why aren't men playing their part in the children's lives too?

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Why aren’t men generally more involved in the parenting of their children?

Single motherhood, why aren't men playing their part in the children's lives too?

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Why aren’t men generally more involved in the parenting of their children?

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