Should I break up with my fiancé?

Question

. I have dated a girl I met in uni dorms. We have been dating for 3 years and covid hit. Borders were closed and we were separated for 2 years. During this two years and after she started working she became more materialistic. She always talks about money and she always find ways to put me down by mentioning how poor I am and how our friends think of you and your financial situation. One day we were talking about wedding and I told her I think having a wedding is just a waste of money and in my opinion we can use that money to travel the world but I told her if you want a wedding I will be happy to do it for you. She got really angry and she started saying your parents have to pay money for the wedding and if they don't pay no marriage and no kids. If they want grandchildren they have to pay. Your parents also have to help us in paying part of the house morgage. Sometimes she asks me to help her with her work and she expects me to do it for her eventhough i mentioned to her that I will do it if I can as I am very busy. She yelled and said you are useless and you provide nothing and no benefit and she blocked me from social media. 4 months ago I decided to break up with her and she had a mental breakdown and she started crying and begging me to come back. She promised me she will change. I thought she truly changed and we had a peaceful 4 months. Two weeks ago we were talking about having kids and I mentioned about having a kid not necessarily will make a marriage happy and I think we will be better off without kids. But told her I will not be selfish and deprive you from being a mum and I will leave this decision with you and the ball in your court and I will happy with your decision no matter what. She got really upset and she said I feel like I am begging you to have kids and she wanted to hang off the phone. I just feel like I can't voice my opinion anymore although I told her It is just my opinion and the decision is yours and you have my full support

The1Girl · Accepted Answer

Yeah I don't see this ending well. 9 times out of 10 people will go back to their old ways, so even if she acts nice for a while this will only be to make you stay. Once you are married with children she will probably think she has you under the thumb so will act however she wants.

If you love someone, who gives a shit what others think about them? Especially their finances. It is nobody's business. And putting you down because in her eyes, you don't have enough money? Silly cow, she needs to get off her high horse. Also what the hell is with all the 'your parents need to pay for this, pay for that' crap? You are adults, neither of your parents have to pay for shit. Her attitude is completely unacceptable, very self-entitled for no good reason.

Bottom line, all I see is red flags. You haven't even said anything positive about her. Do not give yourself a life sentence with someone like that. The fact that you are asking strangers on the internet whether you should MARRY this woman says it all.

WhatTheHeckkkk · Accepted Answer

You guys have very different goals and expectations of a relationship, and why was there an engagement if you didn’t even want a wedding? You didn’t talk to her about what she wanted? Anyways… Yes… I question why you two are still together if there is nothing positive you have said and you two arrested clearly not compatible

DaveJord · Accepted Answer

I didn't even start to read this that long dissertation. If you have to ask if you should or not and you feel so insecure about it that you have to come on here and ask then my answer is simple;

FUCK yeah man, break up with her because obviously you not happy or you are feeling insecure. Don't marry someone you not 120% sure about.

Paul09 · Accepted Answer

I think you know the answer. She sounds crazy, not worth your sanity. Sounds controlling too. And I thought daughters parents usually pay? Or at least both side for weddings. Oh boy if you want to keep digging yourself a deeper hole stay with her. If you want a normal life back, leave her.

AwesomeCookie · Answer

Honestly, doesn't sound like you both should even be talking about marriage or children... Doesn't even sound like y'all are on the same page on or can mutually agree on these topics on a mature level.
Being materialistic is it's own issue. But not agreeing on future outlooks is the real problem.

yucychan · Answer

Yeah, you should. I don't understand why you keep bending over backwards like that.
If you don't want to have kids, then don't.
If you don't want to have a wedding, then don't.
If you don't think you should help her with her work, then don't.
A relationship is not about what she wants only, but it's about you want as well.
And yes, I'm telling you to be selfish at times.

Hetty4 · Answer

Definitely, this sounds like a really unhappy relationship and very one sided. I feel like she just wants to get married, have a house, have kids and isn’t particularly interested in having a genuine relationship with you. You seem to both have very difficult interest and I think you could be much happier with a girl who isn’t materialistic and has similar interests as you

boggboss · Answer

2 issue from what saying u guys want differnt things u don't want the conventional family which she wants wedding kids but equally she sounds like she has some shitty attitude which makes me wonder why you are with her

Kurdistan1991 · Answer

Weddings are really expensive. Especially Kurdish weddings, although it is up to me, it should not be a wedding, but most likely my family will want. There is no respect between you. And the distances are too great. I hope the water flows and finds its way

RealMarek · Answer

You have an opportunity to avoid marrying someone who doesn’t respect you. It is better to be single than to be in a dysfunctional relationship. That said, you should learn to cook. Not for her, but for yourself. It’s a good skill to have.

Anonymous · Answer

Out of all the women you could marry maybe not smart to get with somebody so untrustworthy and incompatible. Don't get manipulated into ruining your chances and regretting your future with a walking red flag. Find a woman who respects herself and doesn't use you for money to spend it with the next guy she meets

IMuser · Answer

Let her have her mental breakdown, go to a therapist. Get out from the relationship and find someone else asap

Apulu_3 · Answer

Yeah she needs to respect you. With respect, love and trust a relationship can never be happy and successful.

eblehe · Answer

Why are you with her? You two are fundamentally different people. She doesn't seem to have any respect for you. Why is she your fiancee dude

pixie215 · Answer

if you aren't happy, if you cannot communicate, if you aren't getting what you need why stay with her?

devilish-cutie · Answer

you dont seem to be a good match. She wants someone who will want same things as her and you dont

Flower7 · Answer

You haven’t mentioned any positives. Why are you even interested in her? Looks, I’m guessing?

worldscolide · Answer

uh yeah break it off.. Not worth having a thot like that in your life.

Guy13 · Answer

Dude…it doesn’t get better. Everything x 3 ‼️

Anonymous · Answer

ugh can't trust anybody..

GMANN56 · Answer

Run... fast and far.

Should I break up with my fiancé?

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