I miss the friendship that I had with my ex, is that normal?

[Anonymous]

My ex were long time friends before we started dating, after we broke up we remained as close friends. I’m now ready to start dating again and have been dating a new guy for a couple of months now, I’m open to him about the fact that I’m still friends with my ex. He wants us to be exclusive but he said he’s uncomfortable with my ex still being in the picture.

I then talked to my ex that we need to cut off contact out of respect for my new relationship and my ex is fully supportive of it but why I can’t I help to not feel like I’m losing one of my longest and closest friends… I’m kinda grieving the end of the friendship and I miss my ex as a friend. Is this normal? What can I do to stop feeling this way?

[Anonymous]

It’s definitely normal, because he became an important person in your life. But at the end of the day you have to do what will sit right with you. If you truly value that friendship then how would you feel with him out of your life? At the same time, if you put yourself in your bfs shoes and he were talking to his ex, you may not like that feeling and can understand his position. Relationships are about compromise and sacrifice, so if your boyfriend is worth it that much and you see a future with him, then you’re doing the right thing. Sure it feels sucky right now, but even the fact that you’re so sad about him not being around means there’s probably good your boyfriend wanted him gone.

[Asker]

We were friends since we were in middle school and started in college so it just feels weird not having him around as a friend anymore. I understand that it’s unfair for my new boyfriend bc even though we are friends, he’s still my ex. I love my current boyfriend and respect him, I also wouldn’t feel comfortable if the situation was flipped so I’m willing to compromise for the sake of our relationship. I guess I just need some time to mourn the loss of my friendship but I know I did the right thing. Thank you so much for sharing your input, much appreciated!

[dustybiker]

I’d say it’s normal. I’m sure you will always miss them. Brutal when it doesn’t work out with a very close person.

[Asker]

Yeah, I wish we could’ve stayed as friends but we can’t because we had a romantic past and it gets weird… Thank you for answering :)

[dustybiker]

You are welcome.