Is it normal to still miss my ex?

[Alyssa11]

I used to be in a serious relationship with my ex, and we planned out our lives and everything. We got along so well and we couldn't see ourselves with other people. One day I discovered he was cheating on me, broke up with him and blocked him a few hours after that.

It's been 3 months and honestly, I've picked myself up so much, kept busy and just overall doing better. I thought I moved on but it was my birthday today and although I have such loving friends and family, I missed him incredibly.

Is this normal? Has anybody else felt this way before too/what helps?

I feel like this will all fade away the day I get into a RS with a better man - someone who will value me and never cheat on me. Meanwhile, I would really appreciate hearing about similar situations and just any tips to help me while I get through this?

Thanks :)

[ohshee]

Ok time out for a min we have all been where your at and yes even me ,, read your post 10 times but read what your saying he cheated on you he hurt you but you miss him ,,, STOP ,, ok you only have down what you know thst he did or what he got cought doing look he broke yiur heart right ,, if a guy did thst to your best friend or your sister what would you tell them ,, now I font know you but through your post and answers I have read I can say your probably a very cool kind person , with s good heart ,, ok so did you thing about a guy cheating on your sister or best friend the guys a liar cheater and woukd still be doing it to them if he didn't get cought ,,, say it out loud what you feel and thing about this guy doing this to your sister or friend and be 100% honest and the be 100 % honest with yourself you can't like a guy that has gone out of his way to hurt you you can't miss him he's not 2 guys ,,, he's one guy he said he was one way and it was all a lie all the good things were a lie BECAUSE it was a form of manipulation sorry but u hsve to be honest with you , because the moment your honest with you and to see it for what it was and is that's when you say fuck that he used me now all the love an kind a bed tender moments thst you say you miss no thsts what you want and wanted then to but he really wasn't giving that look this is me being honest with you we both know your going to be ok and we both know your going to get through this but only you know how long you want to not be honest and live in the world ur putting urself through right now ,, so be honest say good by and say thank you for teaching me who or what kinda person I don't want in my life and say Thank you for that all the time that was wasted it really wasn't because you WENT to school in away you have to find the positive in it somewhere it's not your fault, so say thank you and go fuck your self ,, some more thsts the lesson he got yiur lesson was ,, now you know what you want. ,, and you can get it and have it anytime you WANT but first you have to say thank younger good bye

[Alyssa11]

This is amazing, thanks so much for your words. I'll read this every time I feel weak :)

[BeenThereLovedIt]

Dwelling on it is what keeps the pain and sadness front-and-center and you feel every ounce of it while you dwell. Keep yourself busy, find a hobby or passion and invest yourself into it. Look into self improvement and spiritual wellness. Learn to meditate, it's a fantastic way to learn how to control chaotic thoughts and processes and keep your mind off of him.
It's hard with Covid right now, but try to embrace friends more, engage in social activities as best you can. Just keep busy and the pain will fade enough eventually that you can look back and ponder it without being overcome by hurt and sadness. My worst hurt took about 2 years before I could reflect on it without hard emotional pain. It fades over time, but never goes away, so thinking about can still make you sad.

[Alyssa11]

Thank you. I will follow your advice.

[Anonymous]

It's totally normal to reminisce and still have part of your heart yearning for this person even though they hurt you. I still try to see the good in people even if they have hurt me also but time is the key and doing anything that makes you happy will help you focus and look forward to better that you deserve. At least for me. I have a childhood crush whom i still think of now and then and he is in the back of my mind even if I am trying to prevent it because the experience and memories were so lovely to me and how it ended broke my heart. But girl you deserve a person who will value you, respect you, care for you, cherish you, and adore you for who you are. Someone who won't betray your heart and soul. Unconditional love. If you wanna talk i can pm you. You must be a scorpio. Me too lol. I just turned 22 a couple weeks ago.

[Alyssa11]

Thank you, I really appreciate your words. Happy belated birthday by the way!

I am a trueeeee scorpio - you know the loyalty, the passion, the obsession, and the can't-handle-any-betrayal kind of lover... that's me to the core.

Right back at ya for PMing by the way! :D

[Tara_Taneja]

It's totally fine to still think about him, still miss him but you have realise that this you, you right now this you is enough, a million times enough. You have made it for three months without it him. You probably cried a lot on the first night, a little less on the second, and eventually you stopped crying. You got over it!! That is what matters. One day your gonna meet someone whose gonna cherish you, for whome you'll be the world but this person is not your ex coz this person would never hurt you in any way possible. Even if this does not happen it's fine coz you girl are a fuckin everything in this world that your gonna need.
So yes it is normal still miss him coz one day your gonna look back at this time and realise how strong you were, how strong you are!!

[Alyssa11]

Amazing, thank you!

[NamerOfStars]

Of course- emotional investment on that level doesn't disappear overnight, and even after it's worked through, the memories will pop up from time to time. My last relationship ended horribly, and the final post-breakup meeting was even worse. Neither of us should've been there, were both unhappy with each other. And yet I still sleep with a pillow vertically next to me, since if I don't, I sometimes reach over in my sleep to where she'd be, and wake up in a panic when I realize she's not there.

[Alyssa11]

That sounds really tough... sending you lots of love and support :). We will get through this.

[NamerOfStars]

Thanks. That we will.

[Billie_]

2 months broken up with my ex. It still hurts. But now I’ve found someone that treats me better, I don’t want him back anymore.

Best quote to live by is “You miss the memories, not the person.”

Finding a man that treated me right was what really got me over my breakup. Go out there and find Mr Right!

[Alyssa11]

Girl you're lucky, found a man after just 2 months! lol.

Thank you :)

[Hazelstar99]

Yes, I do. Even things didn't work out between us. I had to walk away. I miss him. Not in a way, that I want to be with him again. Even if I am going to be with him I'm never going to be the same person as I was before. I miss him but don't want him. That hurts too!

[Alyssa11]

Exactly, same here! I could never be the same person with him again and I never wish for him to be with me right now. What he did was too much, enough to ruin everything.

[Hazelstar99]

Yeah I guess it's better for both of us to keep walking away because there's nothing left.

[Hornynowhhcdd]

@hazelstar99 . It's just a name..

[KingDio]

It is normal but just gotta remember how much he hurt you, betrayed you and don't need someone like that in your life... it will fade eventually to a point it will just be a afterthought as I've had something simliar to me... i rarely think if my ex now who hurt me but when I do I just remember how much of a horrible person they are

[Alyssa11]

Thank you, appreciate that :)

[AlexanderAnttila]

Save for the cheating that is how I felt with my first girlfriend.
It's fully normal.

[Alyssa11]

How long did it take you for those feelings to fade? With my exes it would take a maximum of 3 months but none were serious relationships.

[AlexanderAnttila]

Maybe half a year following our parting of ways.

[Alyssa11]

Okay, cool!

[RingOfFire]

Absolutely positively normal. I miss every ex I've had in my life, including those I had as a teenager. Everyone you have a relationship with holds a piece of your heart forever, even if you were the one who ended it.

[just_legit1998]

Yes it is normal, take your time moving on. That will pass and I'm sure there's another one for you, in the meantime be happy with yourself first!

[Alyssa11]

Thanks!

[SunnySri]

Yes mam it is. You never forget a person whom you loved once, some new people can come in life and we can move forward but the memories we have always stay with us.

[LEADFOOTboi]

yeah... i think so... but he was cheatin on you... dont let it happen again...

[Alyssa11]

Thank you :)

[Dave31989]

of course it is

you lost a friend, it's common

[Alyssa11]

The friend part!!! Exactly!

[Paulwalt]

yes it is totally normal to miss your ex because we all are humans and our brain will recollect the past memories.

[Anonymous]

Yes, you know the good in them even they aren’t good for you.

[Alyssa11]

Wow this is soo true!

It's like I know damn well he is no good and he's made some bad decisions and disrespected me. But I also know him so well to the core, his vulnerabilities etc...

[Opinion Owner]

Yeah every time you look back it’s not the bed that you see it’s the good times that you’ve had

[Alyssa11]

Gotta remember the bad to get through this then I guess!

[AlexDeLarge]

I was friends with my ex for 9 years before we went out and then we were a couple for 14 years. It took me over a year to get over it and find my strength

[IDKANYMOREIMCONFUSED]

Mk no one can say for sure because we aren't u we didn't have that relationship with him and we don't have ur opinion it's all based on u so some advice is to think about it urself.

[Wise4myage]

Yes it is and you are dealing with it in the right way. He will fade once you find another man, but don't let missing him go on forever.

[bklynbadboy1]

Yes it is because your not over him yet

[Alyssa11]

Well that sucks! lol.

[bklynbadboy1]

Your know what you need to do right

[Alyssa11]

What do I need to do?

[bklynbadboy1]

You have to make a clean break and surround yourself with friends and family and get back in to doing you and the things that make your happy

[Alyssa11]

Thanks!

[bklynbadboy1]

Your welcome

[Anonymous]

It's perfect to miss. Everyone gets attachment and it's hard to loose it.

[Arousalhunter]

It can take years to fall out of love.

[REDHOTLINE]

No its not normal allyssa

[ronaldsnugs]

Yes.

[Iron_Man]

Yes...

[mrgspoter]

It is maybe

[Lonelywolfxl]

Yeah normal