Why my depressed ex said he " wants to step back" . We were not talking about going back together... so?

[Deimy]

[DoctorSex]

My dear, we need more context than this. But based off what you wrote, " why my depressed ex" tells me a lot about how you view him. If I was to put on my psychotherapy hat, that one sentence is a huge red flag that tells me that you play a larger role in this situation than his supposed depression.

Kind regards,

DoctorSex

[Deimy]

What do you mean?

[DoctorSex]

Your choice of words is revealing. A psychotherapists first instinct if a client phrased a question how you just did sould be,
"This person Infront of me is exhibiting a giant red flag, she plays a large roll in why her ex is pulling away"
If you had simply said, "my ex wants to step back, what's happening?" I would have instinctively thought to speak with the ex.

But thats not how you phrased it, so the therapy plan starts with you.

Equally I am not blaming you solely for how things turned out. But you've raised this question twice and on both questions you've highlighted his "depression".

[DoctorSex]

*role

[Deimy]

Cause it plays a huge role here... we talked normally again and suddenly he said that..

[DoctorSex]

@Deimy it's ok to be hurt. You have a right to feel let down. I'm a big fan of communication, too often man of us make small issues become big ones because we don't say what's truly on our minds. One of the main reasons why I advise younger women to date older, more Emotionally established men. You need someone to be able to lead you emotionally and that comes with experience and time... However this doesn't help you at present.
Either there's something you're doing thats causing him to pull away from you and in that case there's nothing you can do but ask him if you are playing a part in why he's pulling away and listen sincerely without jumping in with your own counter arguments.. or its a case that he's actually depressed and it's something internal, which in that case there's nothing you can do and it would be better for you to mourn the relationship and move on before his depression destroys you both.

Kind regards,
DoctorSex

[Deimy]

Thank you :) yes, I agree.. actually he is older than me, he is 29 years old and I am 23 .. he said himself that he has depression and other emotional problems and he admitted that when I left the country and we started long distance he was hurting without me but he never shew me... he said " he can' t act in a way to hurt someone" " he can' t make anyone happy now " " he is not happy himself and can' t have a normal life so he is not even trying " " he can' t focus on his feelings now"...

[DoctorSex]

@Deimy bless you.

All of life's problems stem from our inability as humans to just let go...

Easier said than done. But it must be done by each of us. It will get easier although it may not seem it now, the days will get brighter and eventually you'll move on and fall in love all over again. He is out there.. doing god knows what lol prepare yourself for that day and sorry for your loss.

Kind regards,
DoctorSex

[Gent207-2]

Why are you chasing after your ex?

Move on dude