Why don't people give closure after relationships?

[helhel103]

guys and girls have you ever been the one to do the dumping and afterward ignore your ex? I need to know what is the reason for not giving closure to your significant other after a break up? I'm really curious.

[Anonymous]

I thinks this topic is complex with relation ships due to multiple factors such as age and psych profile. Naturally everyone is not the same but we all have things in common with behavior. I appreciate these topics online because self education like this wasn't available during my first break up. I desperately needed knowledge. It sucks when elders and close friends can't give you any definitive answers. It bothered me for years! not to have the truth or any reason what so ever. I started learning a lot about psychology and women over the years. Doing so allowed me to obtain some answers of the big picture. Even though I never received closure from her, I obtained enough answers on my own. Some knowledge doesn't fix an emotional hurt but at least I know how all hurts are caused. It was the most hurtful torment I ever experienced because I didn't get closure. A learning relationship is the worst emotionally if it was like a marriage. Not even 2 years to 17 years later di so I get any communication. Absolute refusal to show me any respect. Not 1 moment of conversation or courtesy. Its mental to bump into him 15 years later and show anger and idc attitude toward a man you haven't heard from or seen in person... in over 10 years. Acting like the break up just occurred 24 hours ago. Ya think she could act like an adult by then and show some courtesy? because a guys 1st is a learning experience and he's uneducated to be perfect at that age. It could be fear not anger. Who knows. All I learned is she's now grown woman, college degree, has a fatherless complex, bounced from guy to guy old enough to be her Father (so gross) and was a rape victim before we met. Married a old man and not 1 guy has my alpha traits and qualities. As you can see this was a long list of issues even failed to understand. Very unhealthy for a youth. Never let your sons become dependent and attached. Thats not love.

[thetheme]

Some don't want the drama (tears, begging, ect.), some don't want to say the REAL REASON why they are leaving in the first place, some feel they don't have to explain anything because they don't care for the other person or even respect them, some really want to hurt the other person by having them question everything about themselves trust me you would be surprised. There are many reason for this. When "closure" is given, sometimes the reasons that someone is leaving makes no sense or it's just flat out lies (It's not you it's me).

Then there are some that don't have the guts to tell the other what they did wrong. There are many that just stop calling and don't say a reason as to why, and sometimes a reason would help a bit for the next time. Sometimes it's to keep a person at bay or hanging on a string. Some think that if it didn't end on "bad terms", then they are someone to come back to later when nothing else works out. They will say, "sorry I've been busy" or "I've got a lot going on right now", excuses like that. It's like when you meet a guy, give your number, and don't answer when he calls, and don't tell him you were never interested.

Then there are some that find what they were looking for with someone else, and decide that the best way to end things is to just ignore the other person.

[Nicefuture]

Cuz some People never deserved a closure.

Why should I care?

Does he deserve that closure?

Does he has the right to ask for it?

Give me 1 reason to respect someone who don't even know what the word"Respect" means?

I would give the ex closure if he deserved it! he never deserve it,he should Feel embarrssed for asking for it!

[Cyhhgg]

You should feel embarrassed that you can't get over it.

[Vasillilaw]

I've done this before and the guy I was dating knew full well why I broke up with him. I didn't even have to explain myself.

[Anonymous]

If he really hurt me & treated me badly so I decided to leave him. Why would I want him in my life again?

[helhel103]

im guessing that's the part I had to play ...not like cheating on him or abusing him stuff. just having such a rocky relationship that he's too tired and drained to give me the closure.

[Opinion Owner]

I had to leave ...I was emotionally drained for too long.

[helhel103]

i do understand your side but I don't understand how someone can just wipe out all the good memories as well. I would think that would be enough to give the closure...you know?

[Opinion Owner]

There must be closure, one way or another, for sure. You got to be fair.

[Cyhhgg]

It depends.

It's good to be honest, but not always the best solution. If the reason for breaking up is capable of shattering their self esteem, then I'm sorry, but no. I will not tell you the exact reason because I already have to live with breaking a heart. Do you think I also want to add guilt to my plate after telling you that you're emotionally draining and clingy as shit? Just an example.

Point is, the truth hurts and it really doesn't need to be said, sometimes. I've dealt with not having closure before, so if I'm told to pick up my boot straps, then you better start tying your shoes as well.

[Iamnobody]

ignorance is bliss. we humans would rather not deal with things in hopes that they'll go away. its a sad fact. if you want closure you have to go after it. chase it down no matter how long it takes/what lengths you have to go to get it. trust me it takes a load off the moving on process.

[blandd72]

They do its just depends on the person or you..i have had many bad romances and few of them ass holes gave me closure and it was good to know..some didn't its just how it is...so if you want it girl I suggest you talk to them or go do something with them it doesn't even have to be like what happened to us?.. or sorry about this,ill see you around. good luck

[brkadv]

What kind of closure do you mean? Do you mean if someone dumps their partner but doesn't explain why?

[helhel103]

yep. that's the exact closure I'm talking about

[brkadv]

It can vary. Sometimes they actually don't know themselves the real reason and just feel uncomfortable or scared. The dumper may be as confused as the dumpee. Other times they are uncomfortable having to deal with the reaction and would rather not have to face the person's pain. Other times it's because something is going on that they don't want to admit. And other times they just lack the courage or communication skills to do it.

[The_Supid_Genius]

Closure never really changes anything. When my ex left me we definitely had closure...didn't make it any easier. If you ask me the less you talk in the end the better.

[7gnat]

The dumpee sometimes does not care at all anymore about the other person or they may be afraid that if they talk they might end up trying again with a fruitless relationship.