What does getting closure in a relationship mean to you?

[blunty]

[lemonette]

Getting closure in a relationship, it's like finally being able to shut the book on a chapter of your life that's been left open for too long. You know when you have a song stuck in your head, and it just keeps playing on loop? Closure is like finally hearing the end of that song, so you can move on to another tune.

For some, it's sitting down and having that last, honest convo with their ex, getting to say all the things they didn't get to say. It's like finally getting answers to those lingering 'whys' and 'what-ifs'. For others, you might not get the chance to have that final talk, so instead, you sort through your own feelings, piecing together the puzzle until you can see the picture clearly and say, "Okay, I get it now."

Part of it is definitely letting out all the emotions that have been cooped up inside – the anger, the sadness, or maybe even relief. It's like opening the emotional floodgates and letting it all wash over you, so you can eventually dry off and move on. Picture having a heart-to-heart with a friend over coffee, or maybe a good cry during a long drive. Whatever lets you feel and release those emotions.

Then, there's the learning bit... The hardest part? Letting go. It's accepting that this chapter is over, and it's time to start a new one. It's not easy, especially when a part of you might not want to let go.

This is about getting back out there, not necessarily into another relationship straight away, but just getting back into your life. Taking up a new hobby, hanging out with friends, rediscovering what makes you, well, you.

The thing is, closure isn't always clean-cut. Sometimes, it's messy, and you've got to find it on your own. It's like creating your own ending to a story when the last page is missing. And it's not instant – think of it more like a journey with ups and downs. But when you get there, when you really feel that sense of closure, it's freeing. You're ready to open a new book, start a new song, and see where life takes you next.

[Screenwriter]

It's not what it means to me. It's what it means by psychological definition: Closure means when. relationship ends, you can accept why it ended because you've gotten enough information on your part in the ending and on the other person's part.

Therefore, closure is often an ephemeral and/or unlikely occurrence.

If one party is wounded, and /or extremely angry at the end of the relationship, they won't say why they departed. Or, if the leaving party was so fed up they were DONE, they don't care to spend time explaining their exit. So, the person left behind doesn't get any information in that case either.

And then, there's the worst-case scenario. No matter what one person tells the other about why they left, the person left behind won't believe them. The person left behind declares their total innocence in the relationship's end.

No one is ever completely innocent. If it was an abusive relationship and the non-abusive partner stayed, why did that partner stay? Did they feel they should be abused? Were they from an abusive home of origin? This isn't innocence. It's ignorance, trauma and part of the problem.

What I've learned over my short life is that people with compatible mental health issues often find each other. Someone who's submissive and was abused at home, chooses a domineering, abusive, controlling man or woman. And they stay too long because it was a situation they were used to as a child.

This is only one scenario. There are dozens of compatibilities.

And often the abused or abuser, in this particular case, does not realize what they're doing to the other. It takes trips to the hospital, police being called, and charges filed and pressed before something has to give.

By that time the abused is so beaten down and the abuser so angry, there IS NO CLOSURE that either wants to discuss or consider. This usually takes years.

Think of all the women who were raped by Bill Cosby. It took them decades to come forward! But was there closure? Think of the men raped by Catholic, Morman, Baptist priests, deacons, bishops. Again, it took decades for these former children to come forward, and in several of these cases, none of the churches or perpetrators apologized or gave restitution. And does money solve physical and mental abuse?

So closure? Unless you have a reasonable person or persons you're involved with and you end on a friendly note, closure may not be rationally possible. And unless BOTH parties acknowledge their parts in the end of the relationship, again, closure isn't likely.

People have to FIND closure within themselves.

My choice: That person wasn't sppropriate for you. At the time, you thought they were. You fell in love. Love is blind. Over time, you discover what isn't working until you can't stand the relationship and all its problems anymore, and it's time to leave.

That may be the only closure some people ever get, and rational people have to be satisfied with that.

[abc3643]

Nothing. Because, for the most part, it's horseshit.

If you've got a broken heart after being in real deep true love, then the ONLY way to get "closure" to experience that love with another person because that will indicate you've moved on and finally make the past be the past.

Lord help you if you can't find "real deep true love" again, because, then, for the rest of your life, you are undead.

[NathanDavis]

no unanswered questions...

you do leave with understanding, and growth... or better said, move on, also move forward...

[Nikki_0508]

Forgiving them and yourself for any wrong that was done. Being able to move on and go on other dates. Not having any anger or resentment towards the person, being able to wish them the best in what is to come. Feeling no hurt. You can still miss or long for what was but it is far different from wishing to actually go back to that. It is no longer wanting to go back to what it was.

[Tren58]

For me, it’s just understanding where the other person is coming from. I just want to know how they were feeling and why. Then I can work on the moving past it myself, because I know that I eventually will.

[IslaTheWitch]

Gaining a sense of understanding, acceptance, and peace with the circumstances surrounding the breakup or the end of the relationship

For me, it involves a lot of retrospectives...

[jazmiine]

Knowing where you are at in a relationship. It gives you the sign wether to move on or stay and fight for the relationship.

[Demonatrix]

Finding the ending to the relationship or problem that satisfys you enough to let it go.

[exitseven]

Never again having an emotional response when you think of her.

[Anonymous]

Making you peace with it. You may never completely move on from it but you have to get to a state of peace from it where. You leave that door closed and have no need to re-open it.

[EmpressAJ]

Wanting to know why someone did those things to u and u know u didn’t deserve it

[TacosRAwesome]

A sense of peace that it's finalised.

[LiamJHayden]

Ending it is closure enough for me.

[Squatting_Slav]

Long story short let it be and move on

[In_Trance]

Absolutely nothing; closure is overrated

[Francesca1994_]

I having to say what you need to say.

[Anonymous]

It gives me reasons to better myself.