What does it mean when someone contacted you after almost a year?

[Anonymous]

Let’s say supposedly we liked each other in the past, but things ended badly. He came back sayin it might be pathetic of him to contact me after a long time and maybe I don’t care anymore, but he wishes me well overall basically.

is it possible he cares, felt guilty in the past, or just needed attention because he might not be dating anymore?

do I wanna rekindle things? Nah. I’m just curious on how to receive it and how I should respond as a good person or not respond at all to leave the past alone.

Updates

+1 y

Oops I’m looking at the dates. It has been more than a year since I last heard from him…

[WonderBell99]

It is possible that he may have feelings for you and is looking to rekindle things. However, since you have a boyfriend, I think it is only best that you stop his advances right away and politely let him know that you are taken and have no interest in dating other people whatsoever.

Does he know that you are in a relationship? If so, keep a close eye on him, he may be trouble. You do not wang him jeopardizing your relationship with your current partner.

It is absolutely your decision as to whether you should respond to his message or not. However, if I were you, I would definitely let my partner know if a guy from my past contacted me.

If you are planning on sending a text, you might want to take some points from this:

“hey there. I should let you know that I’m happily taken and not looking to date anyone else at the moment. Hope you find someone as well. Best of luck!”

[Asker]

Are you really 17? That’s a lot of good wisdom and insights, thank you.

Yeah I felt guilty for not sharing it with my boyfriend yet over the past 2 days since I didn’t know what I wanna do. I took my boyfriend to have brunch with my dad and siblings.. it was the first time he met my siblings.. I loved how he talks to my dad.. how he take care of me.. and how we are starting a life together since we recently moved in cuz he bought a house.. and it just felt like would I really throw that away? I love him and I hope we have a future.

I showed my boyfriend the full long message, and he told me I can do what I want since he don’t like to be demanding/tell people what to do (he’s so nice). I told him I did thought of giving him closure but I wanna know what he prefer. He told me the message sounds like he wanna rekindle and picked up what we had.. he said if this guy is tryna entice and interrupt our relationship, he prefer I don’t reply. I think in a way I felt bad cuz he was special to me and I wanna give that closure for him and maybe tell him I forgive him/we could be friends (or not)/I do have a boyfriend now, but all due respect and loyalty.. I wanna respect my bf’s wishes and concerns. I also tried to put myself in his shoes and probably didn’t want him to reply if an old special girl came back to subtly get back with him either… so maybe it’s for the best.

[WonderBell99]

Yes, I'm indeed 17. Thank you very much for the kind words.

No, I see absolutely no reason as to why you should feel guilty. You did nothing wrong. You should feel guilty only if you had gone behind your partner's back to text this guy, but you didn't.. hence, there is no reason to feel guilty. Your boyfriend seems like an understanding young man and you seem to love him a lot. Your old flame appears to want to rekindle your relationship, so it is best you respect your partner's wishes and not reply to his message. He will get the hint, don't worry. I'd suggest you to forget about this and enjoy your life with your current partner. There is no use mulling over "what could have been", best to focus on the present instead of dwelling on the past.

[Sorrento-Sun]

A year is a long time, so he has probably been doing a lot of soul-searching and self-reflection. He may have regret, guilt or just want to make things right between you both if you ended on bad terms.

[Asker]

I think you might be right as those are my thoughts too. To be exact, it has been almost 2 years. So I’m surprised he still thought of me for so long.. I feel like it’s kinda sad he took so long to realized what we could have (or what he had) and tried to make things work, but I got into a relationship this year and I really wanna make it work. It’s weird and funny cuz they both came into my life in the same year… and have both same names too. Weird. I literally met my boyfriend after things didn’t worked out with this guy, but it took us a long time to finally get together.

[Sorrento-Sun]

thanks for the mho

He may have realized sooner, but couldn't find the courage to contact you. He must have some sort of feelings for you, because if he didn't, I don't think he'd bother contacting you. I hole your new relationship works out for you ❤

[sidhagain]

I believe.. Could be he genuinely wants to know your how abouts

I have been in such situations

[Asker]

I guess I’m surprised since he was the one who ended things badly and hurted me again even after things were over. He told me he thought of me time to time. Does that still mean he just wanna know how I’m doing? I don’t understand why since it was all he was doing.

[Asker]

Maybe you’re right.

[sidhagain]

Well if you're clear you don't wanna go back, then it's perfect

You can just decently tell your howabouts and not let him get closer

[Asker]

I do have a boyfriend now. And it is the past.

Thanks! I think if I reply, I’ll do just that and tell him I’m taken. But cuz he did say he still think of me time to time.. does it imply he still cares?

[Asker]

The only thing is I know if I am thinking to respond, I’ll see if I should tell my boyfriend about it first. I’m sure my boyfriend doesn’t worry, but I usually like to be honest and respectful of him. Or I wonder if I don’t necessarily need to say anything to my boyfriend if it’s nothing to me now.

[In_Trance]

It means he's bored and thinks you're easy. You're an option when there are no others

[Asker]

Even if he wrote a long lengthy message still means he’s bored and thought I was easy?

[In_Trance]

correct