Currently on the sidelines while I sacrificed my work so my partner can continue school. I’m the mother of his child, and we are just going day by day I guess. I feel sick to my stomach that I did this to myself. He’s not a bad guy, good father but he still breaks my heart by not showing me he loves me. I guess I’m in the situation where I can only protect myself emotionally.
From what he said, his debt from school is stopping him from marrying me. I’m facing 8 years with this guy. High school sweetheart, father of my child, but this nice guy has really fucked my self esteem and self worth.
I’ve become bitter. He’s happy and content and I just feel like I’m dead inside. I tend to “joke” that I’m just a placeholder of the next girl to come for him. I’m just waiting for a “gotcha!” moment.
I’m just heartbroken that I wasn’t womanly enough to be married. I’m 26 now, wasted my youth on him and he doesn’t see my suffering. We have a conversation every two months like clockwork that I want him to buy me flowers, or take me out on a date, but god I’m so pathetic. Why can’t he just leave me? This debt from his school has only occurred this year. Why can’t he just be honest with me?
