I’m developing feelings for my ex again?

[dumbassstupid]

We recently started spending time together again after a year, we go out and hold hands. It’s been a month and i think I am developing feelings again. Im really scared because this break up was really hard on me. What do I do?

[FunkyMonkee]

Are you sure it's not just feelings for what you once had? I'll never go back to my last ex but I DO miss what he had together for those 10 years! I wish I could at least get that back and even if a new girlfriend ends up looking a lot like her, that's fine with me, as long as she doesn't turn out to be the asshole my ex was by the time we broke up!

[dumbassstupid]

I love him and I may be able to suppress it but I know deep down that I still love him. He made me feel like shit when we broke up too, he just left me like i didn’t matter. That’s why I’m so scared this time.

[FunkyMonkee]

Okay but, if that's the way he left you last time, what makes you think it'll be any better this time? That's like taking a bottle of milk out of the fridge, noticing that it smells like it's going bad and then putting back into the fridge saying, "It'll be better tomorrow."
I spent 10 loyal years in love with my ex and,. around the 9th year, she started hanging out with this guy she always referred to as her FRIEND, David! About a year later, she tells me that they're getting married!! Another year later, she breaks up with him because of something terrible that he did that really freaked her out (probably ran over a cat with his car!) and she left him and ran off back to India! How NICE that those 10 years I spent in love with her weren't worth a shit to her!!

[dumbassstupid]

I’m so sorry, love is really hard I guess. The loyal ones get hit the hardest!
He kinda did the same, broke up with me and a week later I find out that he’s dating his “friend”. They dated for a month and then he broke up with her because he missed me and he realised he had no feelings for her. And now we’re here..

[FunkyMonkee]

Thank you! And back at ya.
Sounds like you should tell him,. 'You snooze? You LOSE!!"
with her it seemed to be a long slow decline. First, our 3 or 4 times a week sex slowed down to once a year!! Then she said she was only doing it (sex) for me and that I've had enough! Next, I'm no longer allowed to put my arm around her in public because it shows others that I own her!! Then I wasn't allowed to kiss her in public for the same reason. Then I wasn't even allowed to hold her had for the same reason! I just figured she'd eventually stop all this bullshit and get back to the way we were so, I hung out and waited.
Next, she stopped coming to family gatherings (Thanksgiving, Christmas, etc.) because she was always promising friends of her that she's spend it with them. It was either her girlfriend from Iran or her married friends from Turkey and sometimes her "friend", David. (I'm not the jealous type and have no problem with her having male friends.) About a year later, she made plans to do something out of town with David and I said that she was gonna miss my b-day. She said, "Oh? When's your birthday?" WHEN is my birthday? We've been going steady for 10 years and she doesn't know when my b-day is? It was about 4 months later that she announced, over the phone, that she was going to marry him!!
"My aunt wants to know if you're coming over for Thanksgiving so she knows how many places to set."
"No, I promised my friend, David, I'd spend it with him."
"Lol. Geez! What are you gonna do, MARRY the guy?"
Long pause, "Well... yeah."

[dumbassstupid]

It hurt my heart to read it! You are a strong man. All I know is that payback is a bitch. It never works out with who they leave you for. They aren’t better it’s just that the grass always seems greener on the other side. Did she try to come back to you?

[FunkyMonkee]

Thanks, again!
Yeah, looks to me like all he was interested in was his money! Kinda stupid when she was making more than I was even though I had two jobs, at the time and her dad was a famous author in India and would send her $1000 just on a whim every so often! She would always send it back because she didn't NEED the money!! Her older brother worked for the airlines and would also send her a grand every so often! And, this guy, David, made his money making shitty art by picking through peoples' garbage and putting odd pieces of it together and taking pictures of it! REALLY? That's ART? People actually BUY that shit? Apparently, magazines did!!
At one point, about a year before we broke up, she said to me that she'd had enough of men but, if she ever wanted a man back in her life again, it'd be me! I asked her about that when I found out she was seeing him and she says she never told me that!! SORRY!! I've got a PRETTY GOOD memory!! I can still remember how to play original songs my band did in the early `80's even though we haven't played them since!! I remember things I did was I was 2 years old!! I KNOW she said that to me!! And, I DON'T make shit up, unless I'm going for a joke.
So, at most, she'd only tried to stay friends with me. I told her when we first started seeing each other that if we ever broke up, I'd, most likely, still wanna be friends with her. And, I MEANT it!! BUT, I meant, if it was a MUTUAL break-up! NOT because she was CHEATING ON ME!! That's unforgivable!! And, pile that on top of the few lies I caught her in and the couple times she stole from me! I base my relationships on how much trust I have in the person. If I can't trust them implicitly, I don't think I wanna be around them!

[FunkyMonkee]

Well, after a couple years, I kinda softened up a but and was kinda willing to be friends again and, I saw pictures online of her niece (whom I also considered to be MY niece). The last time I saw her, she was at the house with the rest of her family (they were visiting from Canada) and she was just a gawky little twig-skinny 11 year old girl. Well, I saw pictures of her when she was about 18 or 19 and she was a GORGEOUS woman!!! She looked like Natalie Wood, only better!! All I said to her was that she was VERY pretty and the next thing I know, Madame Ex is on MY ass like I'm trying to get into this girl's panties!! BECAUSE I TOLD HER SHE WAS BEAUTIFUL? SHE'S MY NIECE!!! (Well, that's how I felt about her!) And, I haven't talked to any of them ever again, except for Madame Ex's little half-sister, once or twice, who lives about 3000 miles away in California with her new hubby and at least 3 kids!

[Guy13]

Nice... Has he changed?

[dumbassstupid]

He does seem nicer, we haven’t talked about getting together and I’m afraid what if he’s talking to girls?

[Guy13]

Sounds like he probably is checking out all his options. I would be...

[Luckycharms12]

I would say take it very slowly easy be nice at start longer term people show there real colours