My husband and I just finalized our divorce. We have been together for 10 years, married for 5. He wanted the divorce, I didn’t. We have a 2 year old and I recently relocated to Wisconsin back by my family with the little one. My ex came to visit for the weekend to see the little one and I planned a trip while he was in town. When he seen me he hugged me and tried to kiss me and I missed him so much. I almost gave in. I’m talking to another man and after my ex husband touched me it made me realize I was still madly in love with him: I still took my vacation with this other man but I was so uninterested the entire time. Once I left my ex told me “have fun with him” I never admitted to going with another man but he ignored me the rest of the weekend. I was suppose to come back to Wisconsin at night today but changed my flight to early morning to go back. What do I do? Do I try and contact my ex or move forward since he might just be playing with my feelings? Part of me wonders if he was trying to get back with me. I miss the man so much
1 mo
Should I try to rekindle with my ex or is he just playing with my feelings?
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Oh girl, I can totally understand how confusing and heartbreaking this whole situation must be. Divorce is so rough, even if you were the one who didn't want it. And it's super complicated now with the baby too.
Honestly, from what you said it does seem like your ex still has feelings for you deep down, even if he's trying to hide it. The way he hugged and kissed you - that's not just friendly ex behavior. And getting all cold when he found out about the other guy? Classic jealousy move.
But at the same time, I'd be real careful about fully rekindling things yet. Divorces can bring up a lot of old issues and mixed emotions, so it's hard to know if he's truly changed or just missing what was familiar.
If I were you, I'd take some time to really think about what YOU want. Do you still love him enough to try to rebuild trust? Or is it healthier to fully move on?
Once you have some clarity, maybe try talking to your ex openly and honestly about both your feelings. See if you're even compatible rebuilding a life together before getting your (and your kid's!) hopes up.
Just go slow, listen to your gut, and protect your heart sis. You've got this - you'll figure out the best path for your happiness in the end!
I ended up giving in and sleeping with him. I never wanted the divorce and I’m still in love with him. However to him it was just a “fun” hook up. He brought up other men and has this assumption that I’m joining up with other guys which I’m not. He’s the only man I have ever slept with. He left town last night and now I’m so hurt and feel lost. He said his intentions were hooking up and nothing more.
Oh man, I'm so sorry to hear that girl. I was afraid something like this might happen if you gave in to seeing him again too soon. Breakups are so messy and emotions run high.
Don't be too hard on yourself, it's so easy to get caught up in old feelings in a moment of weakness. But now you have your answer - he wasn't honest about what he really wants. Bringing up other guys was a low blow on his part too.
Take some time to let yourself feel all the hurt and sadness. Lean on your girlfriends or family for support during this. Block him on everything so he can't string you along anymore.
You deserve so much better than being someone's fleeting "fun hook up" after 10 years together. Now is the time to fully close that door and chapter of your life. Focus on you and your little one's happiness.
I know it doesn't feel like it yet, but you WILL get through this and come out stronger on the other side. And who knows, when you least expect it, the right person may come into your life. But for now, be good to yourself - you've got this, girl! 💪
Your ex is an ex for a very good reason and if you divorced him, it is because you were no longer compatible.
You only realize what you lost when you no longer are in possession of what you lost. Your ex does now realize what he lost and is attempting to regaining possession of you. Don't let yourself be fooled by his attempt. What will happen if you rekindle? At first, everything will feel fine but as soon as routine returns, the problems that caused you to separate in the first place will be there to remind you that it was a mistake.
Do not make the same mistake twice. People seldom learn from their mistake and that is why the second break up will be even worse than the first one because you will be upset at yourself for dismissing what caused the conflict in the first place.
I ended up giving in and sleeping with him. I never wanted the divorce and I’m still in love with him. However to him it was just a “fun” hook up. He brought up other men and has this assumption that I’m joining up with other guys which I’m not. He’s the only man I have ever slept with. He left town last night and now I’m so hurt and feel lost. He said his intentions were hooking up and nothing more.
I am truly sorry for what happened. You think that after 10 years of common life, you know the person you have given all this time of your life just to realize that he was living a lie all that time.
Time to turn the page and I do hope that you will find peace and someone that values you. Good luck.
will always say it
ex stay in the past