Around 2 weeks ago I broke up with my boyfriend of almost a year. Through our relationship we did argue about lots of things, people got involved and I tried talking to him about it but instead of defending me he just brushed it off and always told me I was trying to make him feel bad. This made my insecurities worse and I suppose I did get a bit pushy at times, but I've since apologized for my actions and we started settling down really nicely.
Recently, though, a girl was asking me personal questions about my relationship (things like what we did, how often etc), and it made me feel really awkward. I asked him how it would make him feel and he brushed it off again. I felt at a loss and confided in a few friends I thought I could trust. In short, my words got twisted, our families got involved, and I was dumped for something that wasn't my fault. Woo.
There was a bit of trouble in the first few days, me begging for a chance, him saying no and cutting all contact with me, so since then I've been trying my best to give him space and get on with myself. I haven't talked to him and I'm really focusing on myself. However, his attitude has changed and it seems like he is either denying his feelings or he can't let go. I'll give a few examples.
1) He'll stare at me a lot. We're on the same College course and I'll always feel his eyes on me, or when I look at him he'll instantly look away.
2) He's being very friendly to everyone else, especially the girl that was asking me personal questions. He'll wait until I'm looking then hug her or sit with her and her group of friends and make me feel really awkward.
3) He'll ignore me most of the time, even do childish things like walk out of a room when I enter, and then he'll randomly ask me really simple questions like "What time is it" when there are plenty of other people he could ask.
4) He takes everything I say way out of proportion. For example, I confided in a mutual friend of ours and said that when I talked to people about it, he would say "I suppose you've lied about me to them" or "Why did ... ignore me today? What have you said to them now?" And made me feel really guilty for having friends I confided in. I used the words "He genuinely bullied me for it" He took this as "He bullied me in the relationship" and is now going round in secret saying I'm sick and twisted and not to believe me. He thinks I'm going round making up lies about him and because he's got that idea in his head he's going round and doing it, to get people "on his side".
5) He has a lot of my belongings at his house and hasn't given them back even though he knows they're still there. Things that are clearly on show, shoes, jewellery, make-up etc.
I just want an outsiders opinion, as everyone else just tells me what I want to hear, and that's not fair on me. If any of you have any advice for me on how to get out of this childish argument it would be greatly appreciated.
Thank you so much for any help :)
Recently, though, a girl was asking me personal questions about my relationship (things like what we did, how often etc), and it made me feel really awkward. I asked him how it would make him feel and he brushed it off again. I felt at a loss and confided in a few friends I thought I could trust. In short, my words got twisted, our families got involved, and I was dumped for something that wasn't my fault. Woo.
There was a bit of trouble in the first few days, me begging for a chance, him saying no and cutting all contact with me, so since then I've been trying my best to give him space and get on with myself. I haven't talked to him and I'm really focusing on myself. However, his attitude has changed and it seems like he is either denying his feelings or he can't let go. I'll give a few examples.
1) He'll stare at me a lot. We're on the same College course and I'll always feel his eyes on me, or when I look at him he'll instantly look away.
2) He's being very friendly to everyone else, especially the girl that was asking me personal questions. He'll wait until I'm looking then hug her or sit with her and her group of friends and make me feel really awkward.
3) He'll ignore me most of the time, even do childish things like walk out of a room when I enter, and then he'll randomly ask me really simple questions like "What time is it" when there are plenty of other people he could ask.
4) He takes everything I say way out of proportion. For example, I confided in a mutual friend of ours and said that when I talked to people about it, he would say "I suppose you've lied about me to them" or "Why did ... ignore me today? What have you said to them now?" And made me feel really guilty for having friends I confided in. I used the words "He genuinely bullied me for it" He took this as "He bullied me in the relationship" and is now going round in secret saying I'm sick and twisted and not to believe me. He thinks I'm going round making up lies about him and because he's got that idea in his head he's going round and doing it, to get people "on his side".
5) He has a lot of my belongings at his house and hasn't given them back even though he knows they're still there. Things that are clearly on show, shoes, jewellery, make-up etc.
I just want an outsiders opinion, as everyone else just tells me what I want to hear, and that's not fair on me. If any of you have any advice for me on how to get out of this childish argument it would be greatly appreciated.
Thank you so much for any help :)
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I'm 17, very nearly 18, and he's 20. In case that helps
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