What should I do if I still have maybe feelings for my ex one year after breakup? He hurt me very badly?

[Anonymus2001]

My ex left me one year ago. He left me in a very bad way while saying that he wanted a little break from our relationship and after that he didn't say a word to me acting very cold, while I was waiting for him the whole time. He was my first love and I loved him very much. That breakup hurt me a lot and I needed a lot of time to be okey again. I never wanted for us to split up. I did everything for him. Six months after the breakup while I was out i send him a photo just to see how will he react and he didn't even open my message after everything he did to me and he never texted me since our breakup. It has been a year now and i am seeing someone new but I have many times moments where I just think of him and start crying. I start comparing everyone with my ex. When I think of our memories I have still this sadness in me that just doesn't go away all the time. I always wanted just to talk to him but I am too scared to say anything to him because I don't want to be ignored again and seem desperate altough he still follows me on social media. But he hurt me very badly and I just can't seem to rid of this sadness in me and memory of him everytime. What is the best thing to do?

[Anonymous]

Give it time. I went through the same thing with a woman I knew for the better part of a decade. And all the while she was sleeping with other guys on the side. It was hard for me to let go because I had almost a decade of memories and what I thought was a connection with her. But in reality I was nothing but another guy to her. When I ended it I don't think she really cared. But after I got some time and distance from her she would contact me and tried to get me back. It wasn't easy for me to say no. And it's almost like she knew each time when i had finally found peace without her. Because she would contact me and it would be like re-opening a wound that I thought had healed.

Now that I'm fully on the other side of it i can see the problem was my mental state. She was toxic and an opportunist. But she preyed on my mental state. I'm glad I met her though as painful as it was because what she put me through made me stronger. No woman can ever again do what she did to me. I won't allow it.

My advice to you is, 1. Get as much distance as possible from him. Don't talk to him, don't allow him to talk to you. Don't read anything he might sent to you. That's where I made my mistake with her. He should be dead to you. 2. Think of all his bad points (maybe he had b. o. I dunno). Think of all those bad points and replay them in your head in a endless loop. I promise you this works but it will take some time. 3. Get strong! One of the reasons she was able to get to me was because I was weak, a hopeless romantic. I believed all women were honorable and were caring ladies. This part saddens me because I will never love and trust again as I did before her. But again as I said it's made me a stronger person. It'll work for you to.

Good luck!

[TommyMountainFigure]

The best bit of advice I can give you is. Try and force yourself from living in the past, otherwise you'll never be happy in the present, or future!