Should I ask for another chance?

[kristylouise292]

Met this guy; we were really hitting it off, seeing each other on a regular basis and getting to know the personal stuff. One thing I shared with him (he asked) is how I was traumatized as a child and abandoned. Heavy stuff I know, but he was very sympathetic.

Fast forward to the third week of dating: Things got hectic in his life, which he told me but he was being a bit distant (still messaging daily). That, sadly, triggered a trauma response in me and I reacted poorly by pushing him away. And we decided to not see each other anymore.

I apologized the next day, explained my reaction was my past shit, and I hope that I didn’t make his difficult week that much harder. He sincerely thanked me for the apology, said his communication was poor, we exchanged a few pleasantries, and I haven’t heard from him since.

I really liked him, and wish I hadn’t done that. Do you think he’d give me another chance if I asked?

[Chazmatazz269]

Only way you’ll know is to ask. To be honest though, unless you’re doing self work now that you weren’t doing before, you don’t deserve it. If you had an irrational reaction to something he did unintentionally that early on, there’s no reason to think it won’t happen again over the course of months and years. In fact, it’s all but an inevitability. If that’s a dealbreaker for him, why would he offer a second chance? You’ve got work to do. At least get started, so when you ask for another go you can honestly say, “I’m working on it.”.

[Anonymous]

I think you need to back off from dating until you have dealt with your trauma well enough that it doesn't cause situations like what you're in. let me tell you as someone who has been married 8 years and together for 10. There will be times where you dont have a lot of time for each-other. If that triggers you enough to push him away, then you need to work on that. It is not his job to be accepting of that, It is your job to manage it and not to allow it to become a problem.

Once you have gotten it to that point you will be ready to date again. Its unfair to expect him to have to deal with it.

[kristylouise292]

I agree, it’s not his responsibility to be ok with it. It broke my heart to read this because it’s hard to accept that I don’t deserve love because of the pain that was inflicted on me as a child. Not an easy pill to swallow.

[Opinion Owner]

My friend it is definitely not that you dont deserve love. EVERYONE deserves love. But we need to be the best version of our selves before we try to add someone like that to our lives. Its why i didn't marry until i was 30. I was not a good person before hand.

[Guy13]

You have to wait for him to come to you. The more pressure and push from you, the crazier you look…the worse your judgment appears.
Let him come to you. He may never do that.

[Anonymous]

By your description it sounds like I'd any guy would, he would.

[Anonymous]

I would be moving on if it was me.

[In_Trance]

No. Move on