Is it right for me to ask for a second chance? How should I go about this?

[Anonymous]

In short I started talking to this guy and he asked me out. For context, I am 19 and he is 26, and so I warned him that my parents or our age difference could get in the way of our relationship. He said he didn’t care and was willing to work through it and like the dumbass I am, while he continue to call me his and take the time to meet up with me secretly, I couldn’t help but still stress about us potentially having to stop seeing each other. My biggest concern was my parents and I just felt like I’d be wasting his time. To make it more stressful, he started calling me his future wife early on and as endearing as that may have been, it made me feel more pressure to make this work. I am writing a letter promising to not worry anymore or at the very least not bring up this concern to him. It upset him and rightfully so because I made it sound like I didn’t even think we would last. I am really bad with words and that was not my intention. I was just trying my best to soften the heartbreak should it have to happen because I live with my parents and I know very well if things go south with them I could be kicked out and currently I just don’t have the resources to afford dealing with that. However I also recognize that I was neglected his attempt to make me feel secure about dating him. I feel really awful for ignoring his efforts and I am willing to change, but I also feel like its just one of those things you have to get right the first time. I don’t know. I feel like there is more that needs to be said about what is happening but I think that is basically the gist? I feel really awful and I am really hoping he’d give it another shot with me.

[SnowedIn]

I'm leaning towards no.

Its not the age thing. You're old enough to know your heart and make decisions.

My issue is, first, that you shouldn't have to hide a relationship. If you do, there's a problem. It might not be in the relationship itself but hiding will have a negative effect on the relationship.

Second, if he's upset with you about the letter you wrote, regardless of whether your writing wasn't great, then that's a bad sign.

Finally, you sound stressed about this relationship. That's a blazing red light and waving red flag. If the relationship causes you stress, you need out.

I'm not saying he's not a great guy or you don't care for him or anything like that, but none of what you wrote sounds promising or good for you.

[Asker]

Oh shoot I realize where the second part is that you’re talking about. I should’ve put the writing part at the end but I meant to say I’m writing a letter to him to apologize. When I talked about him being upset, I meant that he was upset about me constantly worrying about us working out. I do understand what you’re saying though, thank you.

[WanderingLoveWizard]

There's nothing wrong with a 7 year difference in a relationship. That's how far apart my girl and I were. But with that much age difference, one of you will be the adult in the relationship, which can be a little weird.
I wasn't the adult in our relationship lol

[WanderingLoveWizard]

I don't know if that's what your problem is, but that's way too much to read and I need the points to get this stupid "explorer" tag off, so let's hope so 🤞

[bingbongbangbung]

if he's calling you your his future wife when you're not even dating, then that's a huge red flag that he's narcissistic. I don't think you should ask for a second chance when you kept insisting you weren't a suitable partner.

[Christoff92]

Don't had to discuss your family situation. Many people date without worrying to much about family ties. He gives you another chance then don't bring up this again. Make it work.

[In_Trance]

No. Move on