Is it worth asking for a 2nd chance after getting rightfully dumped or pointless?

[Marthaland]

My boyfriend of 7 months broke up after finding out I was originally dating him for a dare and faking things for the first 2-3 months. It was a recording I forgot to erase, where I'm making fun of everything, his phrases and used the word idiot a couple times.

Though I did eventually canceled the dare and didn't collect the money but he doesn't believe my feelings are real base on what he found. I let him walk out without asking for another chance. I only apologized once and said nothing much. Then the following day or so, I get a message from him. This was the message:

¨For someone that claims to love me, you didn't even try to stop me from leaving. If it was me I would've try winning you back but you didn't even try. It doesn't sound like you love me enough''.

Ironically I've asked another forum about wanting a 2nd chance but I yet I couldn't do it when the opportunity presented. If I had pleaded enough and rebuttal, there was a chance I would've got him back but I've never begged anyone in my life. That's really out of my character. I said awful things on the past recording and he found it. What's there to say? Is there a point in asking for another chance if they break up or really pointless? Did I do right in letting him leave without trying to win him back?

Updates

+1 y

I've never in my life been the one to beg for another chance, ever. It feels similar to getting rightfully fired from your job because you did something wrong and then having to beg for another chance, pretty humiliating.

Updates

+1 y

I'm 24 by the way, not 14. The system won't let me fix it.

[SueShe]

First things first, if you want to change your age, you have to send a request to GaG using this form explaining that you mad a mistake with your age.

https://www.girlsaskguys.com/contact

Now, to your question. No it is not worth asking for a second chance. You blew the only chance that made your feelings credible to him and no matter how much you apologize, you did misuse a person's trust he had in you and you will never regain this trust because he will always question your true motives and your honesty. Since a serious relationship is based on trust, you are simply wasting your time with this guy. You did have your fun with him misusing his trust, then just leave it at this one time. There is no need to make him believe that there is a serious chance for you to have changed.

[Marthaland]

Thank you. The system finally updated my age. That's fixed. I'm actually letting him go and move on with his life, wishing him luck. The thing is even if I were to ask for a 2nd chance and he gives it, that doesn't take away the fact that things won't be the same, it's already ruined and I had to beg to continue a relationship he doesn't want. I don't like the idea of lovebombing someone back in my life esp if they already broke up. The relationship would be be starting on something broken. Then again, maybe we haven't been together that long must be another part of why I'm not even fighting to win him back.

[SueShe]

Thanks for the MHO.

The problem is that when things are done as a joke, a bet or a prank and those acts turn sour, it will be difficult to fix it even if you apologize for doing it without intention to cause harm.

You are now an experience richer but to your own detriment. I hope for you that you did learn something from it. Good luck.

[sheikalana]

No, dear. Never beg for a Man.

[Marthaland]

yeah I've never ever begged a man in life. That feels like lowering myself too much.

[sheikalana]

Asking for a second chance is kind of begging.

[AI Opinion]

Ooh, talk about a plot twist in the love story! 🌪️ Seems like you've found yourself in quite the romantic pickle. Here’s the scoop: everyone deserves a shot at redemption, especially when their heart has taken the driver's seat, leaving their mischievous brain in the dust. 😏

Let’s break it down: Your boyfriend’s message? That’s your golden ticket, darling. It's dripping with "I wish you fought for us" vibes. He’s hurt, understandably so, but beneath those layers of disappointment, there’s a glimmer of hope — for you to leap into action! 🦸‍♀️

You mentioned doing things out of character isn't your jam, but love, oh love, makes us rewrite our own scripts. Apologizing was step one, but if you truly feel the fireworks for him, it's time to unleash your inner rom-com protagonist. 🎬

Craft a grand gesture, something that shouts, "I've changed, and my feelings are blockbuster real!" Think of it as your love audition. Be honest, open, and let your vulnerability be your strength. Life’s too short for what-ifs, and love’s too potent a potion to not drink down to the last drop. 🍹

Worried about rejection? Totally normal. But remember, even a ‘no’ leaves you wiser and braver than before. And if it’s a ‘yes’? Well, cue the slow clap for your second chance at love. 🌹

So, is it worth it? Honey, if your heart’s in it, every leap of faith is worth it. Start scripting your plea; make it sincere, sprinkle it with love, and who knows? You might just land your happily ever after. 🎥❤️ Let the love games begin!

[RebelinSteel]

Nah forget about it and put it down to a lesson learned. Tbh you potentially got off lucky with just a break up. The other thing is if it’s a relatively small area there is a chance details of your behaviour will spread and you will have a name for not being trusted.

[Marthaland]

yeah I'm moving on. Even if I were begging and he does takes me back (it did seemed like he would've done it if I had pleaded), things aren't going to be the same anyways. I've never beg a man nor anyone in my life for another chance; that's not in my character.

[DishLady]

Just stay away from the guy. You’re not in a movie…

[Marthaland]

Done so. Now I'm moving forward and been dating others since last week.

[avery58]

Not really. He's still hurt and is kind of clinging to the idea of fixing things since this is very recent but he'll probably never really trust you again. And you'll never really love someone again after they broke your trust.

[Marthaland]

The sad thing is I did came to loving him. If instead of finding that ugly recording of talking bad about him, he would've found one where I'm telling my friends that I've canceled the dare and really want him would've been better. I really do love him now but he isn't going to ever believe me.

[rosemilk]

i'd let this one go. that's enough damage caused to him and it will take him a long time to trust another girl again and be comfortable in another relationship.

[Marthaland]

I did wished him the best when he was leaving. Part of me really did felt like chasing him and asking for one more chance but nope. Begging isn't in my character. But I did came to loving me. After those initial months, the rest was real.

[Nirmroth]

A relationship is based on trust and you broke it hard. Leave that poor guy alone he deserves better that was just awfull.

[Marthaland]

That's why I canceled the dare. I never collected the money. I came to loving him for real.

[Nirmroth]

I mean then try to chase him and put in effort to gain his trust back. Just bec it is resolved for you it isn't the same for him

[Marthaland]

Actually I've decided to move on and been back in the dating scene just last week. I'm dating (nothing official yet) others for now.
Too much time to rebuilt trust and it's likely the relationship won't progress in the future. However, if I start with someone new, there is nothing to rebuild and things progress.

[Nirmroth]

Took the way with the least resistance.

[Marthaland]

yeah I'm ready to move on. I can't be wasting more time on something that has no hopes and there is no trust anymore.

[Anonymous]

I think that says a lot about you, not even going to Enlighten this thing with a answer. Let alone you definitely a creep after reading that update because you have to select that shit when you sign up.

[Marthaland]

I'm new to this site and didn't realize I had the wrong age. I did came to loving him.

[Wise4myage]

No, its a waste of time and pointless in my opinion.

[Marthaland]

yeah it sucks that I did came to loving him for real

[DreamLife7]

He doesn't like u omg ur desperate. Are u that ugly?

[Marthaland]

I'm not desperate. I did caught feelings for him and realize my love but it's too late.

[DreamLife7]

He doesn't like you lol. You're insecure and desperate and that's how he sees you too. He's most likely disgusted. No man wants a woman that no one wants and it's pretty obvious no one wants you

[Marthaland]

I've been back into the dating scene since last week and dating others. Nope I'm not ugly. I'm moving forward now.

[Nikki1989]

No, it is not worth it. Move on.

[Alex-Snow]

I would not and it is time to just move on

[Marthaland]

yeah I guess so. I really did came to loving him in the end and canceled the dare.

[Alex-Snow]

Just remember the fun you had with him... another guy will enter your life soon!

[Alex-Snow]

Were you sexually involved with him? If so how was that going?

[Marthaland]

yes, for 3 months

[Alex-Snow]

Did you both connect sexually? Was it frequent? I bet he misses it and realizes that jerking off is not as much fun?

[Marthaland]

By the time I was loving him, it was before even having sex. The sex only added what we were already feeling towards each other. Our working schedules, home distance and the fact that we never moved in together made it impossible for it to be frequently but we would spend quality time during the weekend.

[Marthaland]

I'm moving on with my life by now. I've forever quitted with the dare game by now.

[Alex-Snow]

Good for you.. hang in there and don't forget to give yourself some fun orgasms!!!

[Anonymous]

You can ask, but don't expect a yes.

[Anonymous]

Yes try it

[Marthaland]

Wow. I've never been in this position before.