How do I move on?

[Anonymous]

I am currently pregnant with my ex-husband's baby; at the time I fell pregnant, we were married, but we separated around the time I fell pregnant. Due to him cheating on me with other guys and lying a lot, it probably didn't help that I was also crazy—not crazy in the sense that I would break anything, just crazy in the sense that I would blow up his phone. Fast forward to today, and our baby is due in a few months. No matter what I say or do to get him to not abandon his child, knowing our baby is 100% his, he tells me to leave him alone and to stop contacting him, as he wants nothing to do with me or our baby, and he has also said he won't be paying child support either.

[Guy13]

Get a divorce or baby attorney, You never will move-on with 2.5 years of Divorce processing with Court Orders. Only good thing will be "Daddy" and that might soften his heart. You need to do some leg work including joint tax document and projection of Taxes on your own income from IRS website.. You should have all medical and purchases related to child. Stats on cost of child per stage: baby etc... Get a divorce/baby attorney...

You should have phone data, history of affair, and a PI-see attorney. You have much to do.

[Guy13]

Oh yeah, probability of child around same-sex parent/couple. I have seen issues over that just in my Business.

[Asker]

Thank you where I live we don't have IRS but I am definitely taking the steps to apply for a divorce and for child support. I do have 100% evidence of his affair, including evidence of him admitting to sleeping with guys, but im just worried about presenting the cheating evidence, as I am the only one who knows he slept with other guys. People know he cheated, but they just don't know exactly who he cheated on me with, and chances are him being Muslim, he will have a lot of people turn against as being bi or gay is condemned in the Islam religion.

Thank you heaps for your help and your advice. I appreciate it so much. Thank you

[Pyrofox]

I'd be very careful about persuing the legal system if he's already not willing to pay. Nothing is stopping him if he has the money from just flat out dissapearing. I had an uncle in my family flat out desert my aunt his now ex wife and hasn't paid a cent for either of their daughters. If you want any hope of child support you will want to cut the hostility. Or he will just evaporate and seize the chance to dissapear.

[Asker]

@Pyrofox hostility? Am I giving the impression that is what I am doing? Damn. I suck at communicating so it could be the way I am trying to explain things that is giving off the hostility unless I am being hostile and not realising

He doesn't have the money to be able to disappear as he is debt and he doesn't have a job right now, if he were to disappear the only 2 countries he could legally fly too, the country I live in can legally pursue him for child support in those countries due to laws set up between our country and and those countries and if he still failed to pay child support, they could prevent him from re-entering the country I live which is where his parents also live.

[Pyrofox]

If he's got a credit card still anything is possible.

[Anonymous]

I can’t imagine how you’re feeling and what you’re going through, but I think right now you should compartmentalize whats going on with your ex-husband, and prioritize both your mental health and the baby. All that stress and pain is not good for you right now, and during these last few months is when it’s most important to surround yourself with positive and loving energy. Your ex is a scumbag, not worth another drop of time begging him to be present. That’s going to be his cross to bear. On top of that karma, he legally can’t just opt out of parenthood, and if taking him to court is what it’s come to then so be it. But try not to worry yourself with any of that. Map out a plan for you and baby, and keep your focus there.

[Asker]

It hurts and i cry a lot. I think part of the reason for why I have basically begged him not to abandon his child because our baby is innocent and has never done anything to hurt him and also because he himself was in a way abandoned by his own parents when he was born until he was around 6 years old, so I can't understand or wrap my head around why he would abandon his own child when he was deeply hurt by his parents not raising him. He even went as far as throwing our baby's ultrasound photo in the bin. Thank you for your help. I appreciate it so very much thank you

[Opinion Owner]

I’m so sorry, I’ll never understand how some men could do that and it’s absolutely disgusting. But you know what it’s entirely his loss. Maybe he will come around one day, maybe not, in any case you’ve got to try and keep your focus on the baby. Do you have any support system around you or anyone to call/visit like family or friends?

[Asker]

I don't really have any support system im going through this pregnancy completely alone and I will even be giving birth alone with no support with me during the labour and delivery. I'm scared and terrified but I know I have to be strong. Thank you heaps for your advice and your help. I really do appreciate it heaps thank you

[Opinion Owner]

I’m sorry to hear that. I don't know what your relationship with your family or any friends is like but I hope you’re able to connect with them. There are also support groups for moms, and inexpensive doula’s! That’s one I’d personally consider because of all the love and support they offer. I wish you so much luck on this journey. Stay strong, you’ve got this❤️

[Asker]

My mum passed away and my dad whom I am staying with as I have no where else to go is not happy about a baby living under his roof. My siblings are all older then me and they quite hateful towards me and treat me like shit so having them in my life is not really an option especially after one of them told me they didn't care if my baby lived or not. My pregnancy has been quite high risk and not knowing if bub will be OK or not

[Anonymous]

You better get yourself a lawyer or someone. He has to pay child support.

[Asker]

I've got the paperwork ready to go, but I can't file for child support until after bub is born in 4 months.

[Avicenna]

He owes child support. Put his name on the birth certificate and get in touch with your local child welfare agency.

[Asker]

Thank you. I do plan on putting his name on the birth certificate and I have taken the steps to apply for child support but the application won't be processed until bub is born in few months. Just at a loss on how to let go and move on

[Pyrofox]

Just cause he owes it... doesn't mean he has to pay it.

[Asker]

@Pyrofox why are you attacking me? I am very well aware he may not pay for child support but it is in my rights to still apply for child support. Just know we have laws in place that state if you fail to pay support knowing the child is 100% proven to be yours, they can arrest him and put him in jail for not paying.