I keep recurring dreams that my ex was gay, what’s wrong?

[LaFemmeFatale_1]

Lol, my ex was straight, very sexy, very masculine, just about everything I like in a man.

It’s just I feel like I can’t understand why he broke up, I don’t know it seems to not fit my mind. I just don’t understand why he did what he did. Whatever was he thinking about, I was just so confident I was the love of his life, bullsh*t. After 3.3 years, he just disappeared from my life, went to a different city, we were going to get married! And he is somewhere else now, living his best life.

I seem to not fully understand why he broke up this way. He didn’t meet me after brrak up, he said he was scared if he came to my house, we’d have sex and that he had a new relationship and didn’t want to cheat. It just doesn’t click. If he has a new relationship after break up, that means he cheated. If he cheated he is a cheater and why would he be scared to come to my house?

I’ve even thought did he turn gay or what’s wrong?

The truth is he is in a relationship, new relationship but he’s hiding that girl from everyone for 5 months already. As far as I know his family doesn’t know her.

I’ve been having this dream that he is telling me he is gay and I hug him and tell him it’s okay I still love him, lol. I don’t know why I get this dream, is it that hard to just accept that yeah, he left me for another girl?

[Still-alive]

Well here's what i found regarding what it means to have recurring dreams:

"What Do Recurring Dreams Mean?
The idea that dreams have hidden meanings in their content was a popular component of Freudian dream theory. But, there is little evidence to support the idea that dreams with the same content or themes have the same meaning for everyone. However, examining what your dreams mean to you personally can still be meaningful, particularly in a therapeutic context.

Experiencing recurring dreams may point at underlying issues regardless of the dream’s content. Adults who experience frequent recurring dreams tend to have worse psychological health than those who do not, and many experts theorize that these dreams may be a way to work through unmet needs or process trauma. Another theory is that recurring nightmares may have given our ancestors the chance to practice detecting and avoiding danger.

People who are under more psychological stress tend to have more negative recurring dreams, although a lack of stress is not related to having more pleasant recurring dreams.

Recurring Dreams and Mental Health Disorders
Although most people experience recurring dreams from time to time, they can also be symptoms of post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) and generalized anxiety disorder (GAD). People who experience these disorders have other significant symptoms as well.

People with PTSD also tend to have different recurring dreams than people without this disorder. Their most common recurring nightmares involve reliving the trauma that caused their PTSD."

https://www.sleepfoundation.org/dreams/dream-interpretation/recurring-dreams

so there you go. hope this was helpful. in my best guess i think its just clear you are not over your ex and are still somewhat coping with the breakup. its ok of course we all handle breakups differently. maybe you need some kind of way to make sense of this breakup and him being gay is an easier way to handle that then whatever reason or nonreason he did give you. all this is just speculation on my part though.

[LaFemmeFatale_1]

He kept saying he met the new girl after break up, but there’s something off. One day after break up he told me he knew it wouldn’t work and he felt guilty cause he remembered how angry both of us were were our acquaintance’s boyfriend started dating someone else while still being in a relationship with her. To me, those words proves he cheated and later on made lies that he didn’t and probably he even believed those lies.

I hope he will regret badly someday.

[Still-alive]

Yeah those relationships are called rebounds. Im sure you heard that term right? Instead of just dealing with the breakup himself in a healthy way he instead tries getting into another relationship. These are usually only physical and rarely last very long. there's a likelihood that he's thinking of you the whole time he's with her.

Also If he truly cheated then id advise you to not let him back in your life again. He’ll just do it again to you.

[LaFemmeFatale_1]

He’s too stubborn though. Once in, he’ll try his best to keep the relationship, the girl must do something horrible for him to leave so early.

He seems to be head over heels in love, I was his first love though.

Last time we talked 4 months ago, he said, he loved me but not anymore and that he loves that new girl more now. If she really met her 5 months ago, then how could he love her more than me 4 months ago?

[Guy13]

Yeah, sounds like you have not begun to grieve and neither a German or anyone else is a good idea. Rebound guy ahead. Go grieve over the death for a year before dragging another being into your unclean mess.

[LaFemmeFatale_1]

I told the German, that I am still processing my break up, so I would like to take things slow. It seems like he has taken the hint, cause he hasn’t appeared since then lol.

Why does it take me so long to finally finish grieving?

The more fun I have the more upset I feel actually cause this was never my type of fun. My type of fun would be just staying indoors wrapped up next to someone I love - watching a movie.

[LaFemmeFatale_1]

I think the hardest part about my ex is that I don’t feel angry at him. He has been very sweet to me until the last year, which I blame to his disappointment in Long Distance, during that time he became passive aggressive, but I also see my fault in it. I was scared about our possible break up so I was super nice to him, while he fell for me when I was anything but nice. So I blame myself for the break up and can’t get angry enough about him to stop idealizing.

In the past I didn’t idealize him that much. It was the other way around. 1000 percent other way around.

[Guy13]

It does when one is all-in and a bomb gets dropped on us. I had one like that and I didn't even think about a woman for year-half... none of you were attractive.

I'm not ugly and even the gay guys have stopped me with fat friend ("lesbian protector") demanding to see my drag and dress pictures which don't exist. During that time frame, I was playing that up and lots of people thought that B-turned me gay.

[MementoMori777]

This is why I just trust God, my fam and my damn glock

[LaFemmeFatale_1]

Keep it that way, I loved him like I’d die for him, he loved me truly, I was his first love, we had a fairytale like relationship, but seems like you should never ever fully trust someone with your heart. Always expect that you might someday be alone and that’s okay.

[MementoMori777]

Nah I don't believe that, I actually believe you should have hope in finding someone that will treat you right, don't let some buffoon ruin your dating life, I know it hurts now but trust me, it goes away and you will emotionally heal and you will be ready to date again, til then you find other things to do, spend time with family, friends, distract yourself, and don't fall into drugs, that shit will ruin you, I know you probably aren't going to but I put it out there just in case someone else gotta hear it, you'll be alright, nothing worse than loving someone and not getting the energy back, been through it and I'm still alive, you chillin ha

[SnowedIn]

Possibly your mind is working to help you think about him less.

[Jennz6]

Maybe he is bisexual

[LaFemmeFatale_1]

Just because of my dream? haha

[Jennz6]

@lafemmefatale_1 sorry 😢 I’m bisexual and I think everyone is curious about their sexuality

[PeterLegg91]

Did he have a six pack?