How did my father correctly guess my last ex boyfriend was really gay?

[Anonymous]

This is the 4th time my father guessed right about something. He was right about one of my friends being a fake person, other things and now with my last ex boyfriend.

Everyone else in my family liked him, he was such a gentleman but my father once commented about his manners. Then in private, he said I might be wasting my time because something isn't adding up, then said along the lines ''as if he's in the closet or something, weirdo''.

Damn... he was right. I wasted several months of my time. He tried to pretend to be a straight man but the truth eventually came out. How did he guess right about him? Wow

Updates

+1 y

I'm impressed he guess right even on that one too. Meanwhile my mother considered him a sweet, gentleman with morals.

[Anonymous]

It's not terribly surprising. He's been around a lot longer and he's seen a LOT more people over time than you have. So he's probably used to the signs of a fake person and a gay guy. I've also noticed that young women especially can be pretty naive and blind when trying to assess people. And all the "girl power!" social nonsense that goes on just creates ego problems that makes that blindness even worse.

This just reminds me of another story. I remember walking down the street in New York years ago and a girl was speaking loudly to some of her friends talking about how she thinks that maybe this guy is "bi." I started laughing out loud and it was obvious I'd overheard so she asked what I thought and I said "OMG--he's totally gay! Do you know how few GENUINE bi males there are out there? Guys tend to pick a team and stick with it!" It all comes down to a numbers game, and the concept of Occam's Razor. The simplest explanation is usually the most likely.

[JoePro_]

Some people have a keen eye for detail. They can spot certain mannerisms, body language, eye movement, etc., and sometimes don't even realize what things they're seeing, but "know" that something is "off". Sounds like your dad is basically a human lie detector or something like that. With that many wins under his belt, I'd take his word on something if he decided to share his thoughts with you about the people you know.

[Asker]

yeah he's good at detecting people

[WindSwept]

Gay radar detector…..$299 at Walmart

Seriously tho guys can have effeminate mannerisms or qualities and still be totally hetero so it’s likely he was just guessing and as others have said experience helps. Still it seems you would have also picked up on this if you were intimate with him especially if he had certain preferences

[rosemilk]

some people just have better intuition than others

[Rainbow_Boy]

Have you tried asking your father about the details of his guess? Before I came out as gay, some people were able to tell my homosexual inclinations and a few of them asked me about it. Because I was in denial at that time, I rejected even the suggestion of it; but, looking back, I can see they were completely right about me.

I have also seen the same about some other men who came out later in their lives. I mean, you wonder something like "Gee, what does this girl/woman find in this guy? He's so gay!" And the whole world would tell you you are making things up. Then years later, you hear about them breaking up (or divorcing, if married), and then the guy comes out as gay. So, your father may be one of those folks who can sense people's homosexual tendencies before it becomes common knowledge to everybody else.

By the way, your mother can still be right in her statement. A man can be a sweet gentleman with morals, yet be very gay.

[Asker]

I did and he replied that with age and experience, it gets easier to tell. My ex boyfriend's speech and sophisticated manners reminded him of certain guys during both his HS and early college years; most of the times he would then come out of the closet. Yes a man can be a gay, gentleman with morals but unlike my father, my mother didn't suspect he was gay. She thought he was just gentle meanwhile my dad saw beyond that.

[Rainbow_Boy]

I see. Those manners must be rather subtle then, I think. Because some gay men make it so obvious that anyone will read them. In your father's case, he probably could read even some slight gestures that most people would miss.

I find all this quite interesting also for personal reasons. As such, I got curious in time about those people who were able to read me back when I couldn't admit my homosexuality to my own self. I just remember one distant relative, a woman, who had told me the way I sit on a couch was very feminine. I would put my legs together and under me while extending my feet one way and my upper body the other. I realized that only after she said it. Maybe other people noticed the same thing, but did not want to rock the boat, I don't know. I tried to stop it at that time, but then realized one cannot go against his nature. Now I still do it, and some more, like a slight feminine trotting. I think once your brain gives you permission to be who you are, your body follows.

[Anonymous]

lol because for one men who have been around men, especially masculine men can tell. It’s not a big surprise. I mean if Joey is coming over w tweezed eyebrows, walks feminine, the way he talks, you can usually tell. His posture, the way he rolls his eyes, his laugh. There’s a lot of ways to tell.

[electromagnetic]

Just ask your dad what the signs he saw were?

[exitseven]

This is one of the advantages of getting older. You have learned what to look for in people and can usually sense if they are on thr level.

[slatyb]

Experience -- you meet enough people, you start to know these things.

[TommyMountainFigure]

If you want to know if a guy is right for you? Trust your Dad. Nobody on the planet will care about your welfare like a caring father!

[AviatorTom]

Mothers have eyes in the back of their heads. And fathers have a sixth sense about guys his daughter is dating. It's Mother Nature 101.

[Anonymous]

There are men who completely come across as being gay, with the loose wrists and speech patterns, etc., who are married to women and have kids, etc. So I'm not sure someone can completely go by this.

[DarkWinterNights]

I’ve correctly spotted everything wrong with nearly all my friends exes. It’s pretty easy when you are good at identifying patterns and can be the objective 3rd party.

[Staximus]

Your dad is a much more perceptive person than you, and has a lot more experience dealing with people than you. You have things to learn from him still. When I was young, I was a lot more oblivious too.

[IslaTheWitch]

statistically everyone should guess correctly from time to time :D

[RebelinSteel]

Yeah as you can look at someone and know they are gay, 3rd world thinking.

[sheikalana]

Some people are just psychic and good at reading others.

[Anonymous]

Because he's a guy. Guys can typically spot things about other guys that a woman cannot see with a microscope. Guys can typically deduce the other guys intentions in mere minutes.

[Anonymous]

Easy. By the way he talked and his physical mannerisms. It's a dead give-a-way

[Jay-_-]

Some people are good with body movement I'm apart of the some people 🧍🏽

[Anonymous]

Guys understand how guys think. So when a guy is acting oddly it is obvious to other guys. Being gay is usually the easiest to identify of the abnormal behavior.

[Goku1001]

Maybe he himself was gay at some point in his life...

[Lara_Croft]

You can tell usually...

[Anonymous]

sounds like your father is a hater

[Twalli]

Your father knew what to look for

[noohair]

it is experience and wisdom.

[jahaims]

He is a man