Why does he show behaviours like this?

[Anonymous]

I broke up with long time partner , we are living in same house til I find my own place as rentals are few and far between at moment. When in the relationship he did not verbally show appreciation for the things I did for us to run as a household nor did he show an inclination that he appreciated these things or have words of affirmation/time but when they were not done or did not happen he used to get upset and withdraw and took it as an attack or that I didn’t care and it used to cause dramas or snide remarks would come out of no where. Now when I choose to do these things (I stopped doing them when broke up and have been doing bare minimum- go along to get along) he all of a sudden is thankful, expresses it verbally and wants to give me his time? It’s confusing. I feel like I am not good enough in the relationship but out of it I suddenly get what I “need” - affirmation etc?

[Anonymous]

It's possible that your ex-partner may have taken your contributions and efforts in the relationship for granted while you were together, and only realized their importance after the breakup. This is not uncommon in relationships, where partners may become complacent or fail to express appreciation for the things that their significant others do.

It's also possible that your ex-partner may be feeling guilty about the way he treated you during the relationship, and is trying to make things right by showing appreciation now. However, it's important to remember that this does not excuse any past behavior that may have been hurtful or disrespectful.

Ultimately, it's up to you to decide whether or not you want to continue the relationship or move on. It's important to prioritize your own well-being and not to allow yourself to feel like you are not good enough. It's important to communicate openly and honestly with your ex-partner about your feelings and concerns, and to establish clear boundaries and expectations moving forward.

Remember, you deserve to be with someone who values and appreciates you for who you are, and who treats you with respect and kindness.

[Asker]

I am not sure this relationship will continue or more so be mended but it will and is kicking my ass in the emotional area. I don’t know if I am meant to continue working on working on it or if I am meant to just pack it in walk away heal and remain silent. It does feel like when we in same room there is this vibe thing going on but it’s unspoken, he is not approachable at present and I am likely to just be very reactive and yell and cry and just be counter productive in talking it out. I can’t help if I can’t get my thoughts to slow down. He didn’t cheat, he just got depressed and took and took and I found the bottom of the cup I was pouring from into him. I love him but am so hurt.

[Opinion Owner]

It's understandable that you're feeling a lot of emotional pain and confusion right now. It sounds like you're in a difficult situation where you're not sure whether to continue working on the relationship or to walk away and focus on healing yourself.

It's important to prioritize your own well-being and to take the time you need to process your emotions and make a decision that feels right for you. If you feel that you're not able to approach your ex-partner in a productive way right now, it may be helpful to take a break from communication and focus on your own healing.

If you decide that you want to try to work on the relationship, it's important to approach the situation with clear boundaries and a willingness to communicate openly and honestly. It may be helpful to seek the support of a therapist or counselor who can provide you with guidance and help you navigate the challenges of repairing a relationship.

Ultimately, the decision of whether to continue working on the relationship or to walk away is a personal one that only you can make. It's important to listen to your instincts and to prioritize your own well-being as you move forward.