Does being completely heartbroken mean you were in Love, even if you didn’t realise it at the time?

[IAmAzzurra]

I had to break things off with a really great guy due to external factors & things I had to sort out in my own life

It felt like the right thing to do at the time.
I still see him around, but he doesn’t speak to me. Not because he’s rude, he’s just done with it, which is fair, but it still feels rough. He won’t even look at me and it’s like a gut punch every time.

I try not to think about it too much, but when I do, the sadness is overwhelming. Sometimes I cry until I’m exhausted. I just miss everything about him. The way he made everything better, how safe he made me feel….

when we were together, I don’t think I knew what my feelings for him were. I just knew he made me really happy. The way I feel now has caught me off guard. It has only been four months since we broke up, but it has felt much longer, and it seems to be getting harder, not easier. Especially after each time I see him around.

Sometimes, when he appears round the corner out of nowhere, it’s like my heart stops for a moment.

is this what love feels like, or is it just a case of being sad?

[Anonymous]

It's possible that the intensity of your feelings and the overwhelming sadness you are experiencing could be a sign that you were in love with your ex-boyfriend, even if you didn't fully realize it at the time. Sometimes it takes time and distance to understand the depth of our feelings for someone.

It's also possible that the heartbreak you are experiencing is a result of missing the comfort and security that your ex-boyfriend provided, rather than specific romantic feelings. It's natural to feel sad and lost after a breakup, especially if you were close to the person and the relationship was meaningful.

Regardless of whether or not you were in love with your ex-boyfriend, it's clear that the breakup has been difficult for you, and that you are struggling to move on. It's important to take care of yourself during this time, and to seek support from friends, family, or a therapist if needed.

It's also important to respect your ex-boyfriend's boundaries and give him space, even if it's difficult. Everyone copes with breakups differently, and he may need time and distance to process his own feelings and emotions.

Only time will tell whether your feelings are a sign of love or simply a result of missing the relationship. In the meantime, focus on taking care of yourself and finding healthy ways to cope with the sadness and heartbreak you are experiencing.

[IAmAzzurra]

Hi. Thanks for this.
I have wondered these things too.
I have just let him be. I’m not going to try and contact him or bother him. I want the best for him.

I don’t think I need to speak to anyone professionally. It hasn’t been that long and I think there will come a time when feeling so sad is less intese. I’m just regretful and miss him.

Thanks so much again 😊

[Opinion Owner]

You're welcome. It's good that you're giving him space and respecting his boundaries, and it's also great that you're taking care of yourself by not putting too much pressure on yourself to "move on" or feel better right away. Healing from a breakup can take time, and it's important to be patient and kind to yourself as you go through the process.

Remember that it's okay to feel sad and miss him, and that these feelings will likely come and go over time. It's also understandable to feel regretful about the breakup, but it's important to focus on learning from the experience and growing from it, rather than dwelling on what could have been.

If you ever feel overwhelmed or like you need additional support, it can be helpful to talk to a trusted friend, family member, or counselor. But ultimately, only you can know what's best for you and what you need to heal and move forward. Take care of yourself, and best of luck to you.

[Iron_Man]

If somebody is truly in love, they don’t break it off, because they have to figure out their own life. That’s always an excuse people say

[IAmAzzurra]

It wasn’t about me figuring out my own life.

I have a little boy from my previous relationship, and things were, at that time, Particularly bad between me and his dad, and it was drama I didn’t want to bring another person into.

We had to keep our relationship a secret for a year because of it and to ask him to keep doing that would have been unfair.

[Iron_Man]

If that was the case, why even get into a relationship and if you’re single, I don’t see what the problem is as long as the boyfriend is a good guy. So you’re never allowed to date again. So a year later you cut the guy off, don’t you think that’s cruel? Nobody can be truly in love to just to do that. Because the ex is getting angry.

[IAmAzzurra]

Because I thought that my ex and I could get to a place where we could be happy for each other.
Just before this guy and I broke up, my ex said something that made me not want to take a relationship that was happy & normal into one full of drama.
I was trying to do the best thing at the time. I knew that letting him go was stupid and I knew that i’d regret it, but it seemed better to end on good terms than to have things that he didn’t ask for kill our relationship anyway.

Under “normal” circumstances, I would’ve been with him for as long as he would have me.

[Nikki1989]

Yes, and most good things come to an end, even love.

[Summeroflove]

Yes. It means you really cared about someone. It sucks. But if you didn’t feel heartbroken I would think you were heartless unless he did something really bad

Sometimes things are just not meant to be. Sometimes it’s not either persons fault. There’s just someone else out there for you both whose more compatible.

I don’t know the situation but let yourself grieve maybe see a professional and then eventually you’ll move on

[DeanFreed]

That is unfortunate
I think those external factors are difficult to navigate and we often get them wrong
I'm thinking about children from another relationship

[IAmAzzurra]

Yes. I wish I’d handled things differently.
I catch myself wondering what would h e happened if I had approached things from a different angle:

The issue wasn’t me having a child. I have a little boy, the guy I was seeing met him, and he was so good with him. I couldn’t have asked for a better person. That was never a problem.

My son’s dad is a problem sometimes, and feel awful writing it like that in such a one dimensional way because we are actually “friends” . He isn’t the easiest person to deal with & I chose to not rock the boat. I am frustrated with myself and some of my friends are exasperated because they just want me to stand up to him.
I wanted to keep the peace for everyone at the time , but i know I’m making things worse in the long run.

[Polyglot]

Love is quite simple and far more complicated for our little minds to grasp it.

[Polyglot]

If you wanna talk about it drop me a message in inbox 😊

[In_Trance]

No it means you had mismatched values and you weren't paying close enough attention

[IAmAzzurra]

What do you mean by mismatched values?