After a long relationship ended, is it natural to not desire a long term relationship for a while, just short-term dating?

[luztfunblond]

My (now ex) boyfriend of 4 years proposed to me last month and I said “no”, so he moved out. Since then I’ve been going out on dates but have been enjoying my space alone too.

[Avicenna]

thats quite normal

[In_Trance]

Yes it is

[Vesuvius87]

I'm curious. Is there a reason why you rejected a marriage proposal? Nowadays getting a proposal from a man is nearly impossible to get. I've never gotten that in my life. 4 years is a long time to know if they're the one or not.

[brandon1122]

I agree with you. It's hard to find someone who is a keeper.

[luztfunblond]

I don’t want to be married.

[luztfunblond]

And it was his idea to move and leave

[brandon1122]

Relationship is something serious. Don't play with people

[luztfunblond]

I still wanted to live with him and be with him

[luztfunblond]

@brandon1122 okay 1, I’m upfront about my short term dating intentions, but thank you for your projected assumptions

[brandon1122]

You are funny

[Vesuvius87]

Try not to waste someone's time. If he wanted to get married and you didn't, that conversation should've been said at the very beginning. He should've told him you never wanted marriage and are happy being another "forever girlfriend" that eventually gets dumped.

[brandon1122]

@Vesuvius87 exactly!

[Vesuvius87]

If you just want to live with boyfriend after boyfriend (you said yourself that you just want short-lived relationships) then that's a serial cohabitors and it becomes just friends with benefits by then. Not to be harsh but if only living together and having lots of sex males you happy ok. You're easily find any guy that wants that.
Don't get baby fever later on and complain why men won't propose to you.

[KrakenAttackin]

He had to be an idiot as no sane man proposes marriage.

[Vesuvius87]

@KrakenAttackin
I would change the laws if I had a magic wand. If the no fault rule got eliminated once and for all, your tune would change.

[KrakenAttackin]

No, as women would just increase false accusations.

[Vesuvius87]

@KrakenAttackin
Not me. I've never done what any of the crazy feminazis did.
I wonder what would be the permanent solution to all this madness. It'll just keep getting worst as more years go by.

[brandon1122]

@Vesusvius87 I've heard girls who do this later say none of the guys want to be with them. And they don't find anyone.

[Vesuvius87]

@brandon1122
Yeah and the OP is the example. Unlike her I'm involuntarily unmarried. There's a difference between wanting to be married one day but no man ever proposed vs getting proposed but still rejecting it. OP has given the opportunity I never had.
Honestly I think a woman never getting proposed feels like a man that's denied sex all his life, as if she's some failure that get a man to love her enough to propose.

[Vesuvius87]

''that can't get a man to love enough to propose

[brandon1122]

That doesn't make sense. The first part of the question, yes it's normal. But second nope. If you aren't into relationship then why short one? It sounds like you are looking for friends with benefits but want to call it a relationship.

[luztfunblond]

“short-term dating” I didn’t say “relationship”

[brandon1122]

What's the difference? Lol still with a guy

[luztfunblond]

I don’t just date guys

[Vesuvius87]

Honestly a friends with benefits and short-term to me it's the same thing. Both are about having a friend that you sex with and pass time, enjoy the moment but nothing serious. No difference.

[Vesuvius87]

If you're not engaged or married then you're just dating, nothing serious.

[hbg84]

@Vesuvius87 i absolutly agree with you. I can imagine how you feel with never getting a proposal.

[Vesuvius87]

@hbg84
It's one of the worst feelings ever. After years of knowing each other, my first ex boyfriend uttered the insulting, mocking words over the phone ''you're not ready for marriage''. That put the nail in the coffin after he said that. He was a narcissist in the end, voided of compassion and empathy for others. I got literally destroyed on the inside. The following day my maternal grandma visited me for comfort (we spoke to each other about this ongoing, dead-end situation... she was worried about my years slipping by) and both of us cried, drank a bit of lemon and week to seek a psychologist afterwards. He's been blocked from my life forever. And he never returned my money (about $1,300 in total, counting the shipping fees) back either.

[hbg84]

@Vesuvius87 im sorry that. It sucks really bad. I was in relationship with this girl when i was 21 22 years old. We were together for 2 months. One day she tells me she's in love with me then the next i get a break up text. Said she wanted to be friends and what not. We are always together still having sex. Then she decided we never broke up and have been together the whole time. Skip to a year later everything is great. I was thinking about buying her a ring. Then again one day she says she loves me then next i get another break up text. Saying she never loved me was just using me to get pregnant. Im glad i didn't get that ring. I loved her so much. It hurt for a long time. It actually efectted other relationships. Im 39 and have spent the majority of my adult life single.

[KrakenAttackin]

"short term dating" is better known as the "cock carousel".

[luztfunblond]

Not all of it has been cock 😆

[KrakenAttackin]

Sure babe.

[Vesuvius87]

Yup. It makes no difference. Great observation.