I broke up with my boyfriend of 6 years over text. Am I an asshole?

[Anonymous]

I did it to avoid confrontation (our fights used to get very volatile and explosive)

The text message was lengthy and i explained everything I had to in it

But he said after being together for so long, I at least owned him the dignity of saying it to his face.

Should I feel bad?

[DaveJord]

Yup, this goes with another question someone ask ask... I sit okay to break up over text?

My answer to the at question, was ever time I got to a point of breaking up... she just started avoiding me. So text was fine. But I would say if you totally just blindsided the guy... then yes you are an asshole. But none of my break ups were blindsides... there was disagreement and she started avoiding me... so I was like what ever. 50% they text and the other 50% of the time we just stop communicating. But none of them ever wanted to seriously work it out, which why there was the disagreement to begin with.

[Asker]

didn't blindside him
The tension were there for a while and I sent him the break up text the night after a particularly bad fight

[DaveJord]

You're good then. Not an asshole.

[8UniquelyBoring8]

Yes, breaking up over text or phone can be considered rude and unkind, especially after being in a relationship for six years. It's better to have a face-to-face conversation with your partner to end things respectfully and give closure.
Closure after a breakup can bring emotional healing and peace of mind. It allows individuals to let go of any unanswered questions or unresolved feelings, and to gain a sense of clarity and understanding about what went wrong in the relationship. Closure can also help individuals move on from the past and feel more open to new relationships and experiences.

Hope this helps 🫶

[Anonymous]

did you do this over text because you felt like he would get violent or verbally abusive? (you mentioned your fights used to be very bad). if so, you did so to keep yourself safe and that's all that should matter.

i get that it is a pretty "coward" way to do things, but i feel like this dude would interrupt you a million times and you wouldn't get your point across clearly or you'd leave things out. at least you know that you got everything out and explained it to him so he knows why.

[Gent207-2]

No now BLOCK HIM and never think of him again

[Asker]

This might sound contradictive but I don't hate him enough to block him and i want to be on good terms
He is a good guy. Sure our fights get scary but he's never hit me. But I'm a coward in the sense that I'm afraid of confrontation + the possibility of him striking out.

[WanderingLoveWizard]

@Asker
You're not a coward, you're smart. The best way for a woman to win against an explosive guy is to submit and shut up, so he feels like an asshole and ends up being the one to apologize.
The worst thing she can do is fight back

[Anonymous]

Not at all. If you were worried it would be volatile, and if that's how you were most comfortable doing it, then you owe it to yourself to do it that way. And you only owe yourself, not him anymore since you're ending it.

[Molly1997]

No. Do what you want and leave him. If you wanted to avoid a physical fight or otherwise felt in danger you did nothing wrong by doing it over text.

[slatyb]

No, you are not. Now block him and be done with it.

[Wise4myage]

Yes, that is very lame.

[Bobbysworld]

Not at all. Why go through the drama.

[Pohjolan]

I would rather say immature.