My fiance (soon to be ex) cheated.. is it late to start over?

[Anonymous]

My fiance cheated. I have evidence of hotel bills and his own voice admitting it to someone else. I'm about to break off the engagement. It wasn't a ONS. Apparently it's been going on for a year, a whole damn YEAR.

Is it late to start over at this point. I'm 26 years old. It sucks that I've wasted 4 years of my time with him, get engaged and have to sadly cancel everything. I don't want to but I can't be with a cheater. I don't trust him at all.

Updates

1 y

I haven't confronted about it yet. I just found out recently this week, had been busy with work and had to do several errands. It's overwhelming.

[Anonymous]

you're only 26. you're going to be okay lol. yes. 4 years is a long time. but you cannot move forward with a cheater. it's nearly impossible to forgive. plus, i don't think he'd want to move forward with the marriage since he's been cheating for a YEAR. so sorry that happened to you. he has issues and just be glad you found out BEFORE you got legally married.

[Asker]

What I don't understand at all is why he proposed while he was still cheating? We've only been engaged for 5 month. Why would he still proceed with even setting up our wedding date (it was going to be for Aug 20th) if he was cheating during the whole engagement?

[Asker]

All my life I really thought it was so sweet when a man proposed since it's the moment he's committing to us. Now I feel as if I've been lied with even an engagement ring. I feel like I can't trust anything a man says or does anymore.

[Opinion Owner]

OH i didn't know you've only been engaged for 5 months... that is so awful! there's something wrong with him. some kind of personality disorder. maybe a narcissist?
don't let this dude soil your trust. i understand how hard it can be to get your trust in others back!

[ShesRad80]

thats rough, once trust is broken i think its near impossible to get that back but you possibly could try therapy if you wanna try to save the relationship. good luck to you

[Asker]

No, I don't want someone that cheats. It's been going on for a whole year and I'm willing to bet if I were to confront him now (I haven't yet because I'm still at work and I'm overwhelmed by now), he'll continue denying it until I show him the evidence. I hate that.

[ShesRad80]

it would be a done deal for me and sounds like you as well. walk away from it. move on with your life

[slatyb]

Not even close. You are still young. Now that you have experienced such deceit, you may be better prepared to avoid it. You might get some counseling to help you move forward.

[MementoMori777]

do what you gotta do anon, can't trust a cheater no cap so its best this way, you'll find someone else and im sure you won't regret it

[Asker]

Yes I'm dumping him. Sadly that means I can't continue being friends with his family anymore. They never did anything to me. I always got along with him, esp his mother. Sad.

[MementoMori777]

well that depends how they take the breakup, i know a few people that still talk to their exes family so dont let that go just yet 😆

[Asker]

True. I'll see how it goes. Since I'm close to them too, they are going to ask what happened, ask for an explanation. I guess there is nothing wrong with telling the truth, that he's a cheater and I can't trust him ever again.
He was already cheating even when he proposed. That's disgusting.

[MementoMori777]

it truly is disgusting and being honest does sound like a good thing to tell them considering he cheated on you and they have the rights to know why the relationship ended

[Amanda2447]

Sorry to hear that but yea dump him now before it goes any further with marriages kids etc it will only be uglier. Your still very young. In the great words of Gloria Estefan you will survive 😊

[Asker]

Thank you. It's sad that I'll have to say my goodbyes to his family too. They never did anything to me. They always treated me with respect.
It's unbelievable that even when he proposed, he was cheating and I said yes to him. Yuck

[Amanda2447]

It will definitely be hard but you have to think about the future and the kind of guy your going to spend your time with.

[Amanda2447]

If you need an ear to vent send me a message 😊

[WanderingLoveWizard]

I hope 26 isn't too late to start over
If that's the case, I'm fucked

[WanderingLoveWizard]

I've got at least another 5 years till I find another girl

[dudeinohio]

I started over after my divorce at 52. 18 year marriage.

It's never too late to start over.

[Asker]

I'm so sorry to hear about your divorce. You know what's so disgusting and unbelievable, he was cheating during our whole engagement, even when he proposed he was already cheating. I can't believe I said yes to him. Yuck. Ewwww

[dudeinohio]

Sorry you had to go through everything. It's best to terminate the relationship and move on. Starting over sucks, but in the end you'll be better off.

[LiamJHayden]

As much as it sucks, better now than in a decade in with a couple of children in the mix.

[Asker]

I don't understand why he still proposed (we've been engaged for 5 months) if he was cheating.

[Anonymous]

I'm sorry you're going through that I know what it's like it's hard and it sucks but you'll get through this stay strong

[msc545]

Never too late to start over.

[Deandime75]

It is never too late to start over