My boyfriend recently broke up with me, he said he can't keep treating me the way he has and taking things out on me. I want him back pls help?

[Anonymous]

We have been together nearly 2 years, he struggles with depression and is bad at communicating his feelings. He has done this before, normally when he is shutting down and he just walks out. He done this last Monday at 3am he walked out, a couple of days later i asked how he was feeling about us and he said he really did love me and didn't want to just throw this away but he needed some space to work on himself. So we weren't really talking just saying good morning/goodnight and talking a bit before bed. When this has happened before he always comes back saying he didn't mean it and how much he wants this and loves me, this time feels different, he broke up with me Friday and then on Saturday morning he messaged saying "good morning have a good day xxx" and then I haven't heard anything since. I really want him to come back and I'm trying not to reach out to him or trying to accept that it's over but I'm really struggling, should I reach out or will this push him away more?

[Anonymous]

I would take your strong desire to be involved in a clearly unhealthy relationship to be a sign that you also need to work on yourself.

I suggest you make sure you are familiar with things like self love, validation, enmeshment and what it means to love yourself before you can love someone else etc.

[DermalPunch]

He doesn't want you. He deelsnguilt for stringing you along. It's time to rip off the band aid and cut ties.. if a man realises he is treating you badly, loves you AND WANTS TO BE WITH YOU He will change.

He treats you badly because he doesn't want you and feels bad about it. He has beennhoping you would leave by him being flaky and a poor partner but since you won't end things he now has to.

[electromagnetic]

Yeah… I would let this one go girl.
sounds to me like he needs to work on himself and using you as the excuse.

[Avicenna]

Might be better for him to seek treatment on his own

[strateguy632]

if you want him abck and invite him gently like 'i wish you were here again" maybe he will reconsider. just only one message, not many on same day.

[Asker]

I text him saying could we talk? Dosnt have to be a big conversation just in general xx but I'm scared I'm just going to push him away more, I really miss him and really want us to work out

[Iron_Man]

Talk from the heart, tell him that you will work with him. He’s kind of selfish. Sounds like he’s making an excuse. Why can’t he fix the problem since he’s the one that’s causing the problem instead of just throwing in the towel.

[Asker]

I just text him saying could we talk? Dosnt have to be an big conversation just in general. I really miss him I'm finding it to hard to even think about letting go

[Iron_Man]

Good if that doesn’t work call on the phone it’s more powerful

[Asker]

He will just think I'm spamming him and I'm worried he will block me.. I'm worried if I push to much he will just block me and that'll destroy me, family keep telling me I need to just let go and accept it but I'm struggling so much. My anxiety is at an all time high I just feel like I can't do this

[Iron_Man]

Spamming your are boyfriend and girlfriend, and he’s worried about spamming. What kind of a relationship is that even if you are now broken up still a true boyfriend would never think of you as spamming. He doesn’t sound like a boyfriend to me.

[Asker]

It's confused me aswelk because he text me saying goodmorning have a good day xxx on Saturday after he broke up with me in Friday and that just got my hopes up, but I haven't heard from him since. And he hasn't removed the relationship status off Facebook or anything and I'm aware that's pathetic of me to even check but I can't help it 🙃

[Asker]

Feel like he's just forgot about me and that's it over and I'll never get to talk to him or see him again and it sucks, his birthday is coming up and I've already bought and wrapped everything too, I'm aware he needs space and things that's why I haven't reached out before now but I don't think I'll get a reply

[Iron_Man]

Well, you need to tell him that you have a birthday gift for him. How long have you known the guy? How many times have you hung out in person?

[Asker]

He knows, I've been saying how excited I am to give him the gifts before this all happened, we have been together almost 2 years and I've known him as a friend for about a year before that, we were so good as friends. We both had crushes and then it developed into more, I feel so lost without him. Everything hurts aha I used to see him 3/4 times a week

[Iron_Man]

Well, what’s the guys problem?

[Asker]

He always walks out when things get hard like he would just leave my house and then I'd be a mess and worrying, he's really bad at communicating his emotions or feelings when things get hard. He struggles with his mental health a bit but so do I, uh I hate feeling like this. I just want him to even talk to me but he's just not going to again

[Iron_Man]

Maybe he needs to go to counseling and also man up a little bit just stay in contact with him. Communicate be sweet.

[Asker]

He really does but he refuses to get any help, I've tried and tried but he just gets pissed off with me going on, so I can't help if he dosnt want it. He hasn't read my text or anything so I doubt he will be talking to me anytime soon. I just need to figure out how to let go, it's just hard

[Iron_Man]

How do you know he hasn’t read your text not all cell
Phone text show read

[Asker]

We have the same phone so it tells me if he has read it or not

[Iron_Man]

Are you sure that he’s the guy for you? It sounds like he’s not telling you everything there is to say. it’s strange he would just say that I’m to mean for you so let’s break up there’s probably more to it.

[Asker]

Everyone keeps saying he isn't and that he's never going to change but I just really love him and don't wanna just throw it away, I think he's just done with upsetting me all the time and feeling like a dick for doing it. It sucks cuz I'm in love with him and he does keep hurting me emotionally but I've forgiven him every time, I just have no idea how to move on

[Iron_Man]

Keep trying fight hard with him

[Iron_Man]

Fight hard for him

[WhitneySnow]

Just be patient. It sounds like he really loves you. Hopefully he’ll come back when he’s done working on himself.

[Reem12345reem]

Ur being emotionally/mentally abused and u love him? 💀 Stop draining your energy

[Reem12345reem]

Have some self respect

[In_Trance]

Time to move on

[Asker]

I have no idea how to do that, I've been staying with family for a week now because I'm so anxious and don't want to be by myself..

[In_Trance]

Give it time. You'll get there

[Asker]

Everything feels so heavy, I'm dreading having to go home and being alone, I don't know how I'm going to do that

[In_Trance]

Can someone stay over for a couple days?
Sister? Friend?

[Asker]

I lost all my friends years ago when I was with an ex, and my other friend lives in another country because of uni, I feel so alone, he was my best friend.. I'm staying at my parents atm but I can't stay here forever, I have to go to work on Wednesday too and I have no idea how I'm going to do that. This feeling is awful

[In_Trance]

It sucks for sure. Stay as long as you can. Getting back to work will help too