How can I get my boyfriend back?

[Anonymous]

He broke up with me because I was mean to him and he didn’t really trust me. I loved him but for some reason it was hard for me to be nice to him cuz of his personality and my own insecurity

[FunkyMonkee]

Well, darlin', my ex-fiance did something nasty to me and COPMPLETELY blew my trust in her and, even though that was 20 years ago, I really don't care if I ever see her again!! From my POV, if I can't trust someone implicitly, I want very little to do with them and I CERTAINLLY don't want to waste my time on the risk that she'll never do it again if she DOES want me back!! That boat has sailed!!
The other day, I saw her for the first time again in a video someone shot of my band almost 30 years ago and, seeing THAT again made me wish I still had her the way she was back then! we were fucking GREAT together for the bulk of our first 10 years together but, after I discovered she'd been cheating on me, I wanted NOTHING more to do with her!! THEN, a few years later, she accused me of tying to get into the pants of her niece just because I raved about how gorgeous she'd become since I last saw her 10 years before when she was only 8!!
I REALLY miss what we had but, I CERTAINLY DON'T want HER back!!

[ohshee]

To be honest with you you both probably should go your own separate ways I can feel and hear what you're saying but there's something that makes it not right no matter what you do you're always going to feel the same way it's kind of weird because you don't feel that way towards anybody else but there's something that just is it right and your subconscious goes that so that's the reason why you're mean because you just makes you want to scream sometimes if you were to change the thing is he's never going to change your always going to have that feeling about him I'm sorry that I mean either go for it and see how long it lasts but I can guarantee it's not going to last

[FamilyGuy2020]

I disagree

[FamilyGuy2020]

One can always say that but in the end patience rules ou3

[FamilyGuy2020]

I see your thought to a point

[FamilyGuy2020]

I completely disagree when love is involved in any event it is just my humble opinion

[HollyK21]

Realistically if you got back with him now, you’d only break right back up because the things that were an issue will still be prevalent. You can’t just flip the switch on who you are as a person, so it wouldn’t be long before you are mean again or doing what made him leave you in the first place. So my suggestion would be to focus on yourself for right now, and not him. Maybe consider counseling, so that you can get to the root of why you are so angry towards him and work towards fixing it.

[FamilyGuy2020]

It's just not my place to Individually interfere in your affairs

[FamilyGuy2020]

I wish you the best of luck

[HollyK21]

@FamilyGuy2020 huh?

[bobalife]

I hope you know real love is kindness… not mistreating them. If you truly love him and want him back, then you’ll have to grow and show him that you are a better person and can treat him better. Or take this as a learning experience to be a better partner in the next relationship.

[socksguy]

You were mean to him because of your own hangups and he decided his worth was more than you offerred. I get that right? You say you loved him, but none of those behaviors even hint at love. He's not going to come back to you, not if he's halfway intelligent. You are realizing that he probably put up with your BS because he was a decent human being and now you're not being treated that way by your new situation. I see nothing in your question that says you've changed. Look in the mirror, fix your own issues and then exhibit the behaviors you want to attract.

[Interstate]

A person's personality plays a big part in determining whether or not two people are compatible. It sounds obvious to me that the two of you are incompatible. If he portrays an undesirable personality, and you are insecure, those two are more or less a ticking time bomb in a relationship.

Give yourself time to recuperate from this relationship, and down the road you will meet somebody you are compatible with. But before you pursue another, you need to work on your issue of insecurity. It may not be a bad idea to utilize counseling. It will come a long way (that's what she said). In the meantime, just move on with life.

[Belgie]

Not sure you can - he obviously values being treated well quite highly, and you don't sound like you've changed, you're just regretting that he broke up with you. That's not changing. You will still find it hard to be nice to him. Everything that caused him to dump you is still there.

[designer1]

My advice is that I don’t think you should be in a relationship right now. I think that you should spend some time alone to work on yourself and to reflect/ understand why the relationship didn’t work and why you were “mean” to him. If you go back into the relationship right now, it is very likely that it will end up the same way as before and he will be unhappy and you will be unhappy as well.

[Azura_88]

Anyone who makes you behave worse like being angry or mean is HARMFUL FOR YOU.
I was also the same with my ex but I let him go because he made me so insecure by flirting with his exes and LIED TO ME. I used to lash out at him as a result of bruised trust. I even lost respect for him so I became verbally abusive. I was 17 so I was immature.
I am a sweet, loving person in general but a WRONG PERSON CAN bring your worst sides.

[Azura_88]

I was A VERY SERIOUS relationship that's why I was deeply wounded and as a result became more angry.

[Azura_88]

If he were honest and only had eyes for me then WHY IN THE seven assed hell would I even dare to get angry at him? I was so devoted and loving but after seeing his true colors, the response from my side was very aggressive, disrespectful, suspicious and abusive.

[JackSmy]

I wouldn't take you back, even begging, on your knees, if you treated me like that, before!
How do I know you won't do it again?
You fcked up, babe, and did it to yourself!
He's a FOOL, or whimp, if he takes you back!! And how long will that last, before you dump him again?

[Nawlins34]

If he's mature and know what he wants in life and is somewhat mentally stable, you can't get him back.

In being mean and untrustworthy you lowered your value in his eyes. We are constantly building the profile of the next person we are dating in our minds whether we want to admit that or not.

The next woman literally only has to be nice and trustworthy to hold his attention. That's a low bar to clear... and you set that bar.

[Kurainix]

If you were a bitch during your relationship than forget about retrieving him back cause you didn't take care of him in the first attempt, what has changed now that you want to have him back? You'll torture him the same way before. You're not ready for being in relationship or for asuming that kind of engagements.

[Anonymous]

If you treated him badly before, the damage is done. If you loved him at some point the best thing you can do is let him go. He deserves someone who treats him well and makes him forget how badly you treated him, because some wounds do not heal easily and he surely needs healing.

[kamalravi25]

You cannot until he wants you back.
You can start by becoming friends.
Don't apologise for anything.

[KrakenAttackin]

@kamalravi25. Don't apology for being a Cunt to him? That's Simp-Speak.

[kamalravi25]

Its simple.
Apologies won't fix anything.
She needs to focus on her deeds.
Just like you need to focus on your language.

[Finchie40]

The thing is he won’t change and you won’t change so you are best to move on and find someone that you do like their personality

[slatyb]

You could first start with a sincere apology and reasons why it won't end the same way. But it's very possible he's moved on and won't return. Then you'll just have to behave better with the next one.

[davidst123]

You should apologize to him. You could tell him, you needed space to work on yourself.
Want to spend the next 50 years of your life with him and he is the lover you want.
GO GET HIM BACK GIRL!!!

[KrakenAttackin]

Sounds like you don't deserve another chance. Flash news:. Men can't stand bitchy, naggy, demanding women.

You need to learn to be nice until you get married, than start with the angry bitch stuff.

[yofuknutz]

Hahahahaha, get em!

[Exterminatore]

“It was hard for me to be nice to him.”


You said that then go on to give an explanation, yet fail to explain the real reason. The real reason is you’re a c*nt lady.

[pleasestopthis]

If his personality annoyed you to the point of having to mistreat him, why even bother?

[spartan55]

Get him back? What makes you think he has any interest in that?

[boggboss]

So u was toxic and he did the right thing and left so now u want him back

[In_Trance]

Move on

[Dinklex3]

Leave him alone and let him find someone who doesn't treat him like shit and appreciates him.