Is this the reality for men with fewer options in relationships?

[Anonymous]

I just turned 34 last month and it's been now 4 years since my last break-up. 4 long years of nothing, no luck at all, not even a bit.

I'm just an average 5'9 man, average in looks too, not that wealthy, few friends, always had B's and C's during my school years (never really excelled academically so I could never be a doctor nor laywer nor any of those hard careers; don't have the capacity for it), only had 2 past gfs in my life and it was a struggle for a date to even progress to a relationship.

Obviously I can't demand for an Adriana Lima type because I can't offer much. I'll just have to go with what's available for me. My last two gfs weren't exactly what several men would want but I guess that's better than nothing at all. Is this the reality for men like us with fewer options for relationships?

Updates

9 d

and no, in my first relationship (at a late age of 27) obviously I wasn't her first. It was either getting what's available, looking for other traits or continue without any experience at all. At this point I just want a relationship and form a family.

[scott04sa22]

I'm almost 40, newly single. I don't look for relationships I let them find me and I'm totally fine if I'm single forever or single for life. It's OK for me being undateable from what everybody on here and other places for calling me. I'm not letting the low self-esteem 🤬 getting to me. You should focus on you more and start improving yourself daily.

[Asker]

This is a good perspective. I've often heard that saying that things happen in the moment you least expect them to and not when you're constantly seeking them.

[scott04sa22]

Don't worry about relationships and what your ex's are doing. Focus on you

[grega239]

I stopped bothering with relationships a few years ago.

Its been made clear to me that women have no interest in me at all so i took the hint and bought a ps4.

Im now at a point in my life where i dont even consider the possibility of a relationship in any future plans i have.

But most guys dint seem to have problems with getting a girlfriend so im guessing its not normal to walk away from relationships

[SeriouslyNotSerious]

I like your mindset. You are not afraid to keep it real. People who are not honest with themselves have much more possibility of being single forever, than you.

You are humble, that's an attractive trait. Just keep going and you'll find the right one for you. Hopefully this time, the type of girl that you really want. 🍀

[Asker]

For my next relationship, I don't plan on dating too long. I would like to have a child so maybe I'll just keep it at 2 years as boyfriend and girlfriend and then proceed on with settling down.
I have to laugh at some people's high expectations from a partner while time isn't in their favor, they're getting older (some even my age or older), are still single and they're still asking too much.

[SeriouslyNotSerious]

That's amazing and you've said it very well. Most girls like a man with a plan. 💯

[Nikki1989]

At least you are honest. Women will like that.

[Asker]

Thank you. Hopefully I get better luck soon.

[itsclearlynicholas]

@Nikki1989 brutual honesty is even. Sweeter lol 🧁

[Artificial Intelligence]

Navigating the dating world can sometimes feel like you're sailing in rough seas, my friend. But let me tell you, having fewer options or being "average" in any aspect doesn't determine your worth or the depth of connection you can create. Love isn't about matching societal checklists; it's about finding someone who complements your unique self. It's easy to get caught up in what you think you can "offer" or what you believe you "deserve," but at its core, a relationship is about mutual admiration, respect, and growth. You've had relationships in the past, which means you've got what it takes. It's not a numbers game—sometimes, it's about recalibrating what you value and how you present yourself. Confidence, a sense of humor, and being genuine go a long way. How about focusing on what makes you, you and seeking someone who vibes with that? Love often pops up when we least expect it, not when we're searching for a specific "type." Keep your heart open, and who knows? The next chapter might just surprise you. 😉

[HighValue]

You could go for single mothers because high quality men don't want them so they have fewer options for a mate for a long term relationship.

[Asker]

That could be too. If she's kind, down-to-earth and wants to form a family with me that'll work. If she's still within my age, I can have my own child with her.
I just think it's funny when some people think I'm not trying harder and that in time I can get the woman of my dreams, lol. Talk about being someone false hopes that only works in Hollywood movies.

[DrPepper12]

Stop feeling sorry for yourself and get in the game. You have to make yourself available and vulnerable in order to have any success.

[Asker]

It's not about feeling yourself for myself but accepting reality vs being delusional into thinking I can get any woman. Even if I made myself available, I can attract certain women in my area that are kind, down-to-earth and interested in forming a family.
If I were to then start asking for a gorgeous top model that isn't into parties, had very few relationships, is devoted and is an expert cook then I would obviously be living in my fantasy.

[CriticalCatDad123]

The Mating Crisis: Why the dating market is doomed - https://youtu. be/txRSxee7gDo? si=WD6o7HRKZtZ93gxY

[CriticalCatDad123]

The Mating Crisis: Why the dating market is doomed - https://youtu.be/txRSxee7gDo?si=WD6o7HRKZtZ93gxY

[Asker]

The only degree I've obtained was a liberal arts degree. I'm a refuse collector. The woman on the video (6:34 to 6:38) that was asking for a decent, loyal and funny man would've had that with me if she would've just lower her expectations but no, she wants a good looking guy that fits those categories too. They're too difficult.

[Unit1]

Pretty much.

Watch Andrew Tate. He'll point out where you lack in women's attraction department.

[Asker]

I've just seen the video of mating crisis. One of the woman wanted a decent, loyal and funny me (ok that would be me) but she then wants that in a very good looking guy. Damn.

[Unit1]

Yeah. They'll never be happy and are always looking for Mr even more perfect

[Asker]

I have this funny thing to share:
One of my friends was suggesting me to travel to a South American country to meet better matches, better women. LMAO. It's very easy for him to say it when he's not the one with average earning and not struggling in the dating market. Not everyone can afford to travel and spend a week in another country.

[Unit1]

Totally, although it is worthwhile considering ladies in certain regions know how to treat boys and men. Thailand is in my scope.

[itsclearlynicholas]

Sir: at least you've been in a relationship. 👀👀👀👀👀😄

[Asker]

My first girlfriend broke up after only 6 months after saying the chemistry and spark was no longer there. Then with the 2nd girlfriend, we drifted apart and broke up on amicable terms.
No luck for 4 years now.

[Anonymous]

Either that or refusing to date at all to not be downtrodden by the system

[Asker]

Thank you for your honesty. I don't want to be alone forever. I would like to have a child, pass my legacy at least.
Honestly, it wouldn't make sense for a golddigger to go crazy about a man with an average life, average salary, average everything, without much to offer. It's not like she's going to become rich out of me. They tend to go for top men with great careers, for men with much higher earnings and those types. I have a feeling that the next woman I'll attract will be my female counterpart with less options too.

[Asker]

I'll attract either that or a woman with her own flaws. I'll take what's available for me.

[Anonymous]

Yes it's extremely difficult for guys like you.. but at least you are average.. us ugly guys have it even worse..

[Asker]

Even worse is a low-income, ugly man that has no special skills either. If I'm struggling just being average, I feel very bad for them.

[Shedzij567]

Your person will come be patient

[LaurenM1997]

I really like your honesty ☺️

[Asker]

Thank you. It's better to be realistic than a hopeless dreamer.

[LaurenM1997]

Yeah it sure is

[mayurr]

at least u had 2 gfs in the past😂

[Asker]

Yes but my first girlfriend broke up after only 6 months claiming the chemistry wasn't there anymore and wanting to explore around. The 2nd relationship lasted longer but we just drifted apart and the break-up was amicable.

[Kelley1]

Look for a big girl.