Why do ex girlfriends become nightmares after a breakup?

[Anonymous]

It’s like she’s made it her personal mission to ruin my life. She was emotionally and physically abusive in the relationship and now even after the relationship has completely dissolved you can’t have an adult conversation with her without her going off the rails calling me a profanity name or threatening me this was cause we are moving out and she has caused damage in the apartment that we both would be responsible for. She treats me like this then runs to her family and friends saying I gaslight her when I call her unstable

Updates

+1 y

I just don’t see the reasoning for being treated like shit

[Pοrnytail]

There are a few reasons why ex-girlfriends can become "nightmares" after a breakup:

1. Unresolved anger and hurt - Many exes harbor feelings of betrayal, frustration and resentment after a breakup. They may lash out to relieve those emotions or get back at their former partner.

2. Loss of control - When a relationship ends, the ex loses power and control over their former partner. Some cope with this loss by attempting to exert power in other ways, like through insults, threats or causing problems.

3. Mental health issues - In extreme cases, an ex's erratic or abusive behavior after a breakup could point to underlying conditions like borderline personality disorder or narcissism.

4. Desire for revenge - Some exes want to get revenge for the hurt of the breakup. They try to make their former partner's life difficult as a form of payback.

5. Lack of maturity - More immature exes may resort to name-calling, threats and other petty behaviors because they don't have the emotional regulation skills to handle a breakup in a healthy way.

In your case, your ex displaying abusive behaviors both during and after the relationship suggests deeper issues at play. Her threats, name-calling and attempts to damage your reputation point to issues with anger, impulse control and vindictiveness.

The best things you can do are document any abusive incidents, avoid engaging or responding to provocation, and seek support from friends and family. If her behavior escalates or becomes threatening, you may want to consider a restraining order.

While difficult, try not to take her actions personally. They likely say more about her own instability than about you as a person. Stay strong, maintain good boundaries and prioritize your own mental wellbeing as you move on from this toxic situation.

Hope this perspective provides some clarity and useful next steps. Let me know if you have any other questions.

There are a few reasons why ex-girlfriends can become "nightmares" after a breakup:

1. Unresolved anger and hurt - Many exes harbor feelings of betrayal, frustration and resentment after a breakup. They may lash out to relieve those emotions or get back at their former partner.

2. Loss of control - When a relationship ends, the ex loses power and control over their former partner. Some cope with this loss by attempting to exert power in other ways, like through insults, threats or causing problems.

3. Mental health issues - In extreme cases, an ex's erratic or abusive behavior after a breakup could point to underlying conditions like borderline personality disorder or narcissism.

4. Desire for revenge - Some exes want to get revenge for the hurt of the breakup. They try to make their former partner's life difficult as a form of payback.

5. Lack of maturity - More immature exes may resort to name-calling, threats and other petty behaviors because they don't have the emotional regulation skills to handle a breakup in a healthy way.

In your case, your ex displaying abusive behaviors both during and after the relationship suggests deeper issues at play. Her threats, name-calling and attempts to damage your reputation point to issues with anger, impulse control and vindictiveness.

The best things you can do are document any abusive incidents, avoid engaging or responding to provocation, and seek support from friends and family. If her behavior escalates or becomes threatening, you may want to consider a restraining order.

While difficult, try not to take her actions personally. They likely say more about her own instability than about you as a person. Stay strong, maintain good boundaries and prioritize your own mental wellbeing as you move on from this toxic situation.

Hope this perspective provides some clarity and useful next steps. Let me know if you have any other questions.

There are a few reasons why ex-girlfriends can become "nightmares" after a breakup:

1. Unresolved anger and hurt - Many exes harbor feelings of betrayal, frustration and resentment after a breakup. They may lash out to relieve those emotions or get back at their former partner.

2. Loss of control - When a relationship ends, the ex loses power and control over their former partner. Some cope with this loss by attempting to exert power in other ways, like through insults, threats or causing problems.

3. Mental health issues - In extreme cases, an ex's erratic or abusive behavior after a breakup could point to underlying conditions like borderline personality disorder or narcissism.

4. Desire for revenge - Some exes want to get revenge for the hurt of the breakup. They try to make their former partner's life difficult as a form of payback.

5. Lack of maturity - More immature exes may resort to name-calling, threats and other petty behaviors because they don't have the emotional regulation skills to handle a breakup in a healthy way.

In your case, your ex displaying abusive behaviors both during and after the relationship suggests deeper issues at play. Her threats, name-calling and attempts to damage your reputation point to issues with anger, impulse control and vindictiveness.

The best things you can do are document any abusive incidents, avoid engaging or responding to provocation, and seek support from friends and family. If her behavior escalates or becomes threatening, you may want to consider a restraining order.

While difficult, try not to take her actions personally. They likely say more about her own instability than about you as a person. Stay strong, maintain good boundaries and prioritize your own mental wellbeing as you move on from this toxic situation.

Hope this perspective provides some clarity and useful next steps. Let me know if you have any other questions.

[Alli39]

Sounds like she's very emotionally unhealthy. Toxic people naturally harm the people around them. Cut contact as best you can and avoid her.

[Oliverlogan263]

There are a few reasons why ex-girlfriends can become "nightmares" after a breakup:

1. Unresolved anger and hurt - Many exes harbor feelings of betrayal, frustration and resentment after a breakup. They may lash out to relieve those emotions or get back at their former partner.

2. Loss of control - When a relationship ends, the ex loses power and control over their former partner. Some cope with this loss by attempting to exert power in other ways, like through insults, threats or causing problems.

3. Mental health issues - In extreme cases, an ex's erratic or abusive behavior after a breakup could point to underlying conditions like borderline personality disorder or narcissism.

4. Desire for revenge - Some exes want to get revenge for the hurt of the breakup. They try to make their former partner's life difficult as a form of payback.

5. Lack of maturity - More immature exes may resort to name-calling, threats and other petty behaviors because they don't have the emotional regulation skills to handle a breakup in a healthy way.

In your case, your ex displaying abusive behaviors both during and after the relationship suggests deeper issues at play. Her threats, name-calling and attempts to damage your reputation point to issues with anger, impulse control and vindictiveness.

The best things you can do are document any abusive incidents, avoid engaging or responding to provocation, and seek support from friends and family. If her behavior escalates or becomes threatening, you may want to consider a restraining order.

While difficult, try not to take her actions personally. They likely say more about her own instability than about you as a person. Stay strong, maintain good boundaries and prioritize your own mental wellbeing as you move on from this toxic situation.

Hope this perspective provides some clarity and useful next steps. Let me know if you have any other questions.

[RavVid]

I saw a girl like this at a public phone yesterday.

[slatyb]

Why are you still in contact with her?

[Asker]

We have to live together for 20 more days