Did he use an excuse to dump me?

[Lyhra4]

I met a guy who was supposedly interested in me , but it seems as soon as he knew my salary was good he started to really rush things with us talking about marriage kids and so on after a month of getting to know each other. These days I had a work trip to Netherlands and I previously told him that maybe in the future o want to move there … he always said he supported my dreams but when I came back he broke up with me saying that he was afraid of us because he felt that someday I will leave this country. Is this an excuse? I’m feeling like shit

[Sshinners89]

I'm sorry you feel like shit. Men are mostly such assholes. It seems to me like his feeling unsettled that you could move away but if he really cared for you then he would go wherever and continue things with you. I'd tell him that he has a choice to make and if his not interested in continuing on because or something that may or may not happen in the future then your moving on to someone who will make the effort. I think his making an excuse because if a guy loved you he'd travel the end of the earth to be with you.

[Lyhra4]

Unfortunately that’s what I thing he also told me now he noticed he wasn’t so ready about us because he had past issues , things unsolved … and he never told me me things from the very beginning

[Sshinners89]

This is not in anyway the same thing but a guy I was dating for two months literally ended it over what's app and blocked me before I could respond to him. I've no idea what happened for him to end it in such a way. I spoke to his mate of 6 years and he said he has a lot of unresolved childhood trauma and issues that his never dealt with which had impacted on his ability to have healthy relationships with women. He said his had it happen with so many women he can't even keep count. It sounds like this is what's going on with your guy too. If someone hasn't dealt with trauma in a healthy way it seeps into their future relationships in some way. I know this doesn't help much and it doesn't take away how much pain your in whatsoever. Just know your a good person who by the sounds of it deserves to be treated so much better. X

[Sshinners89]

I'm also sorry that he never told you this from the beginning. Usually people realise these kind of things later on in the relationship bit they could possibly also use it as an excuse. I think men in particular are cruel the way they treat women.

[HelpfulWoman]

Doesn't really matter if its an excuse, does it? No need to feel like shit, life happens and not every relationship lasts.

[Lyhra4]

Thanks

[zagor]

Maybe he is just protecting himself. Or he wanted to break up anyway. Could be either.

[Lyhra4]

He told me he didn’t want to get even more attached and later I would leave the country…

[zagor]

Sounds like he has no desire to leave the country and doesn't want to set himself up for disappointment if you were to leave, as you indicated a desire to do.

[Lyhra4]

Yeah right