I texted my ex after the break up, do you think he is going to respond?

[Anonymous]

My ex and I broke up a few days ago over a phone call. Before the phone call we were in a really good place. I just met his parents, we celebrated his birthday together and he just moved into his new house all this was a week and a half prior. The last time we saw each other he told me he kept the pen from our first date and was considering if the backyard will be a good fit for my dog when she comes to stay over. A bit of back story this house was more then what he was expecting to pay and i new he wanted to get into a strict routine. He suffers from bad anxiety and sleep patterns so his routine is important in order to get up for work. He told me this and said he will have to work a lot more. When we first started dating he had bad financial problems and couldn’t afford the rent so he had to move into his brother. They did not treat him well there and his mental state went down hill. He did have more spare time and less bills so he often wouldn’t go to work to spend the day with me. After leaving his new house he texted me the day after like normal. The next day I asked if he wanted to hang out. He responded he needed to work. The next day I asked him if everything was okay? He responded saying yeah everything is fine, i just am not working enough and don’t have time to hang out at the moment. I said that’s fine can we call to talk about it? We organised to call when I finished work. During the call I started getting mad at him because I felt like his tone in the message was blunt and he took too long to respond. I accused him of seeing my message and ignoring it.… more information in comment section

Updates

6 mo

He said this was not the case he just has to work a lot more because he has more financials. He said his priorities right now are working and he doesn’t know when he is going to see me. I said so how long could this be he said he doesn’t know. This really upset me and I started to get defensive and cry. I then said to him where does this leave me. It’s not looking good for our relationship.

Updates

6 mo

He then started saying he can’t be in a relationship right now with his financials and the amount he is needing to work now. It’s something he can’t focus on. I started to get really upset and cry.

[Anonymous]

I think he’s under a lot of pressure (financially) right now and maybe maintaining a relationship is not his priority, like he said. He might respond back but honestly, if you want to get back together, you’ll need to sacrifice a lot and be super patient with him. There are gonna be days where he won’t respond to your messages at all, not sure when you’re gonna meet etc.

I do however believe that if you really care about a person, you’ll make time for them no matter how short of a time it is (like responding to a text takes only 1 min?)

[Anonymous]

You're such a coward for breaking up over text. You don't have the balls to tell him to his face.

[Asker]

I am not the one who needed things, he was the one who did on the phone call

[Asker]

I texted after to see if we could work things out if I put less pressure on him at the moment because I know he’s going through a lot

[Avicenna]

I think you need to be more patient with him

[Asker]

I have reached back out with a message apologising for my actions and saying I see his point of view. I know now i overreact. In the message I told him to take as much time as he needs to respond and to read it. I said at the end of the message if this break up is something you want that’s okay or are you will to see how this new dynamic works for us because i will put less pressure on him in the relationship if that’s what he’s needing at the moment. He opened the message and has not responded this was yesterday now. How long do I give him to see if he does respond? I want to also move on with my life and I like to remove of all socials to get over a break up?

[In_Trance]

Stop interacting with your ex

[Asker]

We broke up on a phone call very sporadically the day prior. How is messaging after that bad?

[In_Trance]

Go your separate ways.
Doesn't matter how it happened. You're prolonging the inevitable

[Asker]

I can’t really explain the full story on here. In the phone call I was getting mad at him and yelling then saying things like this doesn’t look good for our relationship and then he asked what do I want to do and then that’s where the conversation about breaking up came. I wanted to apologise for how I acted. After reflecting I know getting all mad about little things when he’s stressed was stupid of me to do in the first place and at the start of the phone call he was trying to work out a option

[Anonymous]

We will see

[Asker]

During the call I started getting mad at him because I felt like his tone in the message was blunt and he took too long to respond. I accused him of seeing my message and ignoring it. He said this was not the case he just has to work a lot more because he has more financials. He said his priorities right now are working and he doesn’t know when he is going to see me. This really upset me and I started to get defensive and cry. I then said to him where does this leave me. It’s not looking good for our relationship. He then started saying he can’t be in a relationship right now with his financials and the amount he is needing to work now. We went back and forth for a while and then I ended up hanging up the phone. After a few days space I reached out with a message explaining I do see where he was coming from and apologised for getting so mad over unnecessary things like him to responding and saying no to seeing me when he was so stressed. I don’t expect to be his first priority like I was saying over phone and of course he is allowed to say no. I said in the message to take as long as you need to respond and read I know you have a lot on your plate. I sent this message lunch time yesterday and he opened it yesterday afternoon. It’s not the next morning and he has not responded to it. I know I said he can take as much time as you need to respond but is leaving it on seen a answer or do you think he will still respond?

[Asker]

We were in a really good place. I just met his parents, we celebrated his birthday and he just moved into his new house. He suffered from bad anxiety and sleep habits (insomnia).

[Asker]

I know on the message to him I said to give it as much time as you need to read and respond to but how long should I give it. It’s really rude if he doesn’t respond obviously as my message was really understanding so I would be surprised. But in the mean time it feels like I’m prolonging my heartbreak and healing because I’m waiting. I am happy to give him time and space that is why I said it but how long do you really need, I feel like he would know he’s answer already

[Opinion Owner]

Everybody always uses that excuse if a man gets a day off the man should have time to see you it’s that simple and what about after work it’s that simple

[Opinion Owner]

Who does he live with?

[Asker]

Yes, during the phone call he said he will have time once a week on his day off but I started asking when and when he said he doesn’t know at the moment it worked me up and that’s when I started to get snappy about it and say this doesn’t look good for our relationship. Before this he always made so much time that’s why it just came out of now where

[Opinion Owner]

Try to keep a cool head I understand where you’re coming from try again

[Asker]

He lived by himself and just moved in under a week ago. I stayed at his house the first night and he was talking about how excited he is to have my dog over and considering putting a dog food in. That is why it’s just completely come out of nowhere and I don’t know if it is just because he’s stressed right now of if he actually does want to break up.

[Opinion Owner]

It’s too early to tell what happens. Try to be patient and understandable and workable. I Understand how you feel. He shouldn’t be acting like this

[Asker]

It’s really hard to wait, how long do you think give him before I need to decide myself to just move on? Because being left on seen is sometimes your answer

[Opinion Owner]

Keep in contact with him give it another two months