My ex and I broke up a few days ago over a phone call. Before the phone call we were in a really good place. After leaving his new house he texted me the day after like normal. The next day I asked if he wanted to hang out. He responded he needed to work. The next day I asked him if everything was okay? He responded saying yeah everything is fine, i just am not working enough and don’t have time to hang out at the moment. I said that’s fine can we call to talk about it? During the call I started getting mad at him because I felt like his tone in the message was blunt and he took too long to respond. I accused him of seeing my message and ignoring it. He said this was not the case he just has to work a lot more because he has more financials. He said his priorities right now are working and he doesn’t know when he is going to see me. This really upset me and I started to get defensive and cry. I then said to him where does this leave me. It’s not looking good for our relationship. He then started saying he can’t be in a relationship right now with his financials and the amount he is needing to work now. We went back and forth for a while and then I ended up hanging up the phone. After a few days space I reached out with a message explaining I do see where he was coming from and apologised for getting so mad over unnecessary things like him to responding and saying no to seeing me when he was so stressed. I don’t expect to be his first priority like I was saying over phone and of course he is allowed to say no. I said in the message to take as long as you need to respond and read I know you have a lot on your plate. I sent this message lunch time yesterday and he opened it yesterday afternoon. It’s not the next morning and he has not responded to it. I know I said he can take as much time as you need to respond but is leaving it on seen a answer or do you think he will still respond?
Updates
6 mo
We were in a really good place. I just met his parents, we celebrated his birthday and he just moved into his new house. He suffered from bad anxiety and sleep habits (insomnia).
Updates
6 mo
I know on the message to him I said to give it as much time as you need to read and respond to but how long should I give it. It’s really rude if he doesn’t respond obviously as my message was really understanding so I would be surprised. But in the mean time it feels like I’m prolonging my heartbreak and healing because I’m waiting. I am happy to give him time and space that is why I said it but how long do you really need, I feel like he would know he’s answer already
What Girls & Guys Said
Opinion
1Opinion
You are acting desperate sweet heart. He broke up with you because clearly he needs space and you are being aggravating and doing exactly the opposite
How in my message I said you can give this message as much time as you need to respond to? I just wanted more clarity on the whole situation which is fair to ask considering we broke up over the phone sporadically
Why not let him explain when he is ready? Yes it’s fair to ask but harassing him for an answer is going to make him upset, explode, possibly realize he doesn’t need the aggravation in his life.
If he was bothered by the message he wouldn’t blocked me. We still have each other on all social media
Hun it’s not about him being all the way bothered, it’s you personally not giving space in a time where it needs to be. You need to stand strong as a woman and let him miss you a little.
I am letting him explain when he is ready but it’s also hurting me in the mean time giving him time. I just don’t want to make things harder on myself either and prolong my heartache
And I’m not sure how long to give him. I know in my message I said to take as much time as you need but also I do have dignity and I’m not going to wait forever
Well you don’t need to wait. He broke up with you. You have your answer on what he is looking for in the situation. I know it hurts and it hurts even more when you don’t have a reason but is the reason all that important? It’s still the same situation regardless of reason. You can’t tell him he can respond when he wants and then get upset with him because he listens to that
My message wasn’t asking for a reason. My message was apologising for how I acted. I also said a lot of things on the phone call that i reflected on and no long agreed with so I wanted to say I see his point of view and want to try and see if this new dynamic will work for us. I said at the end of course if you want to break up that’s okay as well. If he doesn’t answer that he’s a real asshole. I know the reason already but I was reaching out to try and patch things up
No offense you aren’t being the best by not giving him space either. He broke up with you because he wants space and you aren’t respecting that. I’ve done this all before and it’s from sadness but you can’t control what he wants and more than likely your pov will not change his mind for the very moment. Don’t act desperate. If he wants to come back and you still want him, that’s a great time to address things
He did not break up with me because he wants space. He broke up with me because he needs to work more to pay for his new house and he’s only going to be able to see me about once a week on his day off.
So aka he wants space. You need to read between the lines. If he wants more time to focus on other things , do you think he wants to make time for your explanation to coax him back into a relationship?
Obviously not but it takes 2 seconds to respond to someone you only just got out of a relationship with it’s about respect. 1 response and it’s done it’s not hard
Not responding is just rude
He doesn’t owe you a response lol he broke up with you for this reason. No offense here, I think he made the right move. You aren’t understanding this at all and I’m sure this relationship may be holding him back and the reason why he stepped back. I know you might get mad at this, but it needs to be said.
I mean it’s not really up to you to say what he’s thinking like you know him? It’s weird
I just wanted advice on how long to give him before blocking and moving on with my life 😂
It’s not that serious
But don’t you think it’s sad I know what he is thinking and I never met him? I mean how suffocating to have someone everyday badgering you to text back on their time
But it is serious lol I am giving you advice actually but you are evading the actual reason why he broke up with you
I don’t everyday it was only once? When did I say everyday
Yeah no you definitely are the type to badger about texting, it’s pretty obvious by this convo
How am I evading the reason why he broke up with me. I know the reason but obviously I know my actions pushed on it. I know I should’ve of reacted to him not responding quick enough I was just emotional and shouldn’t had taken it out on him. Doesn’t mean I can’t see that
No i think your being insensitive. I’m clearly hurt by the situation
So how about act like you learned your lesson and leave him alone and let him come to you. It shows that you are about what you say you are
I’m not being insensitive I’m giving you valuable advice based on what I’ve been through in my lovely 26 years of life.
I am leaving him alone I sent 1 message after the break up?
“He’s an asshole if he doesn’t answer”
I not going to re message but I will remove off all socials that’s how I like to deal with a break up
If he just leave the message forever and does not respond yes I think that’s a pretty shitty thing to do
It’s shitty maybe, but that’s life. You move forward, you live life, you find someone new that fits your better needs in a relationship.
Yes exactly. I just wanted advice on how long should I give before removing and moving on. I said in the message to give it as much time as you need exactly so I can’t resent he has not responded yet. But it’s not a nice situation to be in for me
He should already know his answer so being left on seen may be a answer. If this is the case I will block and move on
No big deal I have don’t it before and I know how to
You can remove him now. Let him know that you aren’t for the games. And it gives him less access to what you are doing
There’s no games here it’s just closing something maturely. I don’t even agree with breaking up over the phone
Understandably so, I think sometimes closing something Maturely isn’t really an option. That doesn’t mean text him nonstop but you can’t sit forever waiting for a text
Forever. You have to stand clear on stuff you don’t accept. And you don’t accept a man that isn’t making time for you, right?
Yes I think so as well. I haven’t texted him nonstop or was 1 message and it was 3 days after the break up. I gave him space before sending it. Yes if he’s choosing things like seeing his friends over me then obviously no. But if it’s work to pay for his financial situation at the moment I don’t mind if we don’t see each other as much which is what I did not portray over the phone because I was crying and hardly even know what I was saying
I’ve been in this similar situation and it came down to evading my needs to coax him into a relationship and looking back, it just made me flat out look like I had no self esteem. I think you have a right to want someone that wants to make time for you and tbh he’s being half way honest by saying it’s only for you especially with someone as nice as you and you are willing to push time with him to the side already for his finances, he already knows that but that’s not what he only wants. From my experience, when men break up with people they half truth them.
You are overall better off moving on though in the long run
He might, but why should he respond?