You don’t have to divorce him. You talk to him. See what’s going on. Why things happened the way they did. Is everything you built together outweigh what he did? I know it’s going to be a hard decision to make. You’re always going to wonder. Especially if you deploy. I was in the service for 10 years. Happened to me w my girlfriend. Unfortunately for you this happened when you two are married. I wasn’t. But the shit still fucked me up. Hurt bad. I tried, but she kept going back to the dude so I left her. She’s now 44 years old w 6 kids from 4 different dudes. She recently reached out to me. Nope, not having it. I was mad yes, hurt yes, but what she did altered my life in many ways for the better.
Most Helpful Opinions
It is not compulsory.
I think you need to look at your emotions about it. If it causes you pain every time you think about it and you think about it a lot than for your well being than you have to ask what causes you the most pain leaving someone you love or living with the pain of betrayal?
Only you can make that decision. It could depend on the circumstances. It is a little different if he was missing you, had some beers, and some woman took her shot at him than if he thought she's at work and I can nail some women whilst she is away.
I am assuming you were on a posting when you say duty.
People do forgive but they can't forget which is why I ask about the emotional pain.
That's what happened to me when I was young and had just become a new Mom. He didn't care. Girls were after him and he went for it. There was no discussion about it. I went right down to a lawyer and I got a divorce from him. I was still very much in love with him for many many years, like 40! But I had to get a divorce because he broke the trust we had. Plus he decided he didn't want to be married anymore.
The only choice you have then is to accept the cheating.
You may even have to tell him you are OK with it.
If you can't do that then you know what you have to do.
You cannot change the stripes on a zebra.
Sorry :(
What Girls & Guys Said
Opinion
14Opinion
He shouldn't have asked you to marry him in the first place if he can't keep his dick in his pants. By staying with him you are being a doormat and basically saying it's ok to cheat. Divorce him. You could go have sex with another guy and see how he likes it when the shoe is on the other foot, but you're just signing up for more stupid drama that you really don't need to deal with. Staying with him is also signing up for more stupid drama. Just be done with it and tell him "fuck off into the sunset, asshole" 🌅
i guess just continue getting stepped on by him. i don't know if i could ever stay with a cheater. he will do it again and you will get sadder and sadder. and he'll do it again. why don't you want to be respected? especially by your own husband? he doesn't care about you as much as you care about him and to me that is unfair. either way, this can end in divorce. if you don't want to file for divorce, he can and very likely will file for divorce anyways.
if you really must, maybe some couple counseling? but he has got to WANT to actually do that. and to me, if he's cheating, that means he's already checked out of the relationship.
Divorce him anyway. That or accepting that he’ll continue to cheat on you over and over again (and at that point you may as well call it an open relationship because you know he’ll be with others and accept it by staying with him despite this fact) are your only options.
If you don't want to, then don't. Do what your heart wants. The question you should be asking yourself is can you forgive him. If you can't, then prolonging the marriage will most likely lead to more pain. If you can, well then there will be an additional question about trust. I'm sorry you're going through this.
You risked your life for our country and the best he could do for you while you’re away is cheat on you? There’s soooo much loss of trust in that. I can’t even imagine what else to say. Thank you for your service though ❤️
You think guys want to divorce women they've been married to for 2 decades when she cheats? No! Much like your husband, she selfishly forced his hand. If they cheat on you once they WILL do it again. It's only a matter of time.
Good luck! That's all I can say to you.
You really have 3 choices.
1 - leave him.
2- accept it and just deal with it as you won't be able to trust him for a long while
3- get all Femdom and make him wear a chastity cage.
Whatever works for you
Then you're dumb... sorry to say, but that will be just the start of your TOXIC MARRIAGE! And from one thing to another can lead to some nasty stuff that one of you might not end up well...🤷♂️
Live separately until u feel like ur ready to forgive him
Why the fuck are you wasting people's time here when you said yourself you don't want to divorce him? Go stay with the cheating a hole you deserve to be cheated on if you are so stupid to stay with him
Jody got your husband! Obviously you will just have to forgive him, assuming he isn't asking for a divorce or talking about leaving you for the mistress. Men can fuck a woman they don't care about, so she may have been recreational use only.
Well, if you won't leave it is highly unlikely he will ever stop cheating. If you stay he takes it as a green light to cheat.
Have self respect and leave him. He doesn't love you or even care about you. You can't care for someone and cheat on them.
Get a divorce. He’ll do it again. And probably has multiple times you don’t know about. It’s a personality thing. Don’t cause yourself more pain down the line when he fails loyalty again. You can do better.
If you make more money than him and have a kid, wait a while to divorce him until you are out of the military otherwise you have to pay him child support and alimony.
Let it go. Either get a divorce or shut up. Since you don't want a divorce, you have to let it go.
You take him back and hope he doesn’t cheat again? 🤷🏾♀️ couple therapy?
Time to get your head on straight and divorce him because he doesn't truly love you he'll keep cheating on you
Kick her ass. He will get the message. Or get a boy or girl friend too.
Well you have lot to work on firstly his cheating on you his wife and if he loves you the way you love him
Learn more
We're glad to see you liked this post.
You can also add your opinion below!