My girlfriend cheated and left me. Why don't I hate her?

[Anonymous]

My girlfriend cheated on me after I provided her a place to stay, a car, a job. I did everything I could for her. Why don't I hate her. Maybe it's my confusion and recent break up that's doing It, but I feel like im supposed to

[ManOnFire]

Sorry my details are long.

You don't hate her because the impact is still fresh, you're probably still in a state of shock, and because you still care about her... for the moment. As the dust settles and you get your clarity back, you will most likely grow to have a pretty strong dislike for her. But right now I imagine you are probably still in the psychological denial stage, which is common for lots of people in your situation.

But let me just kinda go over a few things here. You said you provided her with a place to stay, a car, and a job. That is a lot of giving to a girl, especially for your age (which says you're 19, unless that's not real). I know you probably did all that because you really cared a lot about her, and she may have taken advantage of it. This is why it's important to be careful with how much you do for a girl in a relationship, because many of them do take advantage and then will turn around and cheat like that. I don't fault you for how much you cared, but you can learn from this going forward.

Last thing to say is: do not take her back even for a minute if she begs you. You can forgive, but let her go. Don't put yourself back in a position to be betrayed again, because she probably will.

[jahaims]

You are mature in that way. If someone cheats on someone they usually take it personally like they weren't good enough instead of realizing the cheater is a trauma driven mess.

[Asker]

Honestly. You did get her right on the dot almost

[jahaims]

Emotionally/mentally healthy people don't cheat so it wasn't that big of a leap lol

[RoseySarah]

Just give it time your still grieving!

Really soon you will but now your just stunned not feeling give it a few weeks

[Anonymous]

You don’t have to. Maybe you weren’t as invested in her as you thought you were. Nothing wrong w that. Move on. Even if it hits you later keep trucking. You know for the longest I hated my ex. Together in high school for 4 years. She got pregnant by some other dude. I left for the military. He dumped her. She came back to me. Like an idiot I took her back only for her to go back to him when I deployed. I hated her forever. But now some 20+ years later I thank her for what she did. Had she never done that I wouldn’t be where I am today. In a much better place w 3 kids, a wife of 14 years w a house, etc, etc. She’s still struggling w 6 kids from 3 different dudes who want nothing to do w her.

[Billlewis]

Because you care about her, and I think that's admirable.