What do you do when you can’t recover from a breakup?

[Anonymous]

Ok so my emotions are not regulated due to me being on the autism spectrum but I can’t seem to move past this sadness of what my life is now versus what it was

[LaFemmeFatale_1]

You will eventually.

With time…

First few months, I woke up and I went to look at the mirror, I was scared my hair might have gone white with all this pain and worry I experienced,

I went to sleep and I was happy, sleeping was my only escape,

but no, dreams about him wouldn’t leave me alone,

he was hurting me in my dreams too, over and over again,

I woke up went to work and worked with tears in my eyes,

I would come home, take off my clothes, lay on the floor, and wish I’d die.

Then I had this awful heartaches, I seriously thought my heart would just stop beating,

I woke up surprised everyday, I survived yet another day. How can I hurt this much and be alive?

How can my heart be so strong?

Why didn’t my hair turn grey?

I made art, everyday for 6 months.

I was a ghost of my former self.

and then I slowly started realizing, if my heart is so strong, that it still beats,

if my hair is so young, that no pain can turn it grey,

do I have a right to give up?

I should be strong, I should go out with my friends and live a life worth living.

I remember the first time I purely smiled out of happiness on 2023 14th January, 6 months after break up, I was still not over the break up, but I smiled of happiness, that was such a huge milestone from crying everyday.

Then I have been living my life,

slowly, month by month, his memory faded.

It has now been a year and 2 months since break up.

I am great. I am still somehow me. Broken or not, I am me, I’ve got myself.

And I will never cry over a man again.

I am happy and he is a distant memory, I am grateful for all the memories he gave me, but I no longer wish to waste my time thinking about a person who didn’t appreciate my selfless love.

[LaFemmeFatale_1]

Sometimes I come across Business News about him, those rare occasions are when I remember him… That’s all.

[Anonymous]

Stop looking for excuses for the problems you create and move on.

[Asker]

I’m not creating excuses people on the spectrum deal with stuff like this completely different than normal people

[Oliverlogan263]

Dang bro, I can see how a breakup would hit extra hard if you struggle with regulating emotions. Don't be too hard on yourself though - we've all felt crushed by a breakup before. Here's some things that might help:

- Let yourself feel the sadness fully. Crying/journaling helps release emotions in a healthy way. Trying to ignore it will just prolong things.

- Lean on your close friends and talk it out. Sometimes just voicing your feelings out loud helps make sense of them.

- Keep busy with hobbies you enjoy. Idle time gives sadness space to creep back in. Play games, work on projects, whatever floats your boat.

- Set small goals to look forward to each day/week. Coffee with a bud, a new episode of your show, a hobby meetup - something to motivate getting through the hours.

- Give it time. Breakups suck royally, but I promise the sting will fade. Be gentle with yourself as the process takes longer than "normal".

- Don't be afraid to reach out if you're really struggling. A counselor can provide coping strategies specific to autism.

You got this dude! Lean on your supports, keep putting one foot in front of the other, and soon this will be a small memory compared to the awesome life ahead. You'll make it through.

[love_conquers_lust]

One foot in front of the other, bud

[Anonymous]

Go look for some action and try to get laid.