Why would a girl still like her abusive boyfriend?

[Anonymous]

let's say you're talking to a girl. She brings up she still has feelings for her abusive boyfriend but deep deep down in her heart she admits that she doesn't want to go back

[HelpfulWoman]

abusive people will manipulate others. so it's a common problem and why some abused people go back to their abusers. it's not normally a case of "liking them", so much as doing conditioned behaviours to excuse the abuse/"he's the only one who likes me" kind of thing

[Asker]

I explain to her how these people work and what they do and slowly she is getting it. She admitted to me he is not the guy for her. I try to explain and give examples

[butterly248]

As an abuse victim myself, it is because they make us feel that we aren't good enough without them. Because the fear of leaving is greater than the fear of staying.

[Asker]

First off i'am sorry about that, and no woman should go through that period. Actually is it ok if i can personally message you?

[butterly248]

I don't dm sorry

[Asker]

That's ok. Tell me what would be the best approach to actually get her out of this. What can i say?

[butterly248]

Leave it. You can do anything. Do you know the song truth you better by Shawn mendes?

[Asker]

Understood and yes i do. Let me ask you this, how did you get out of your abusive relationship?

[butterly248]

I'm still in it.

[butterly248]

Songs like monster, all of the lights, drunk in love, love on the brain etc. You can understand hoe she is feeling

[butterly248]

How *

[butterly248]

And really tbh, a lotta Rihanna songs are about abuse

[Asker]

Well hold on! You say leave it. You're still in one... You understand. Why can't you leave? I really want to dm you, but if you don't want it's fine. Why sit and take the abuse?

[butterly248]

I did explain why lol

[Asker]

You explained your own way out... So why not do it. It's all physiology

[Asker]

What are some things he would do?

[butterly248]

Not that simple. And look up the different types of abuse

[Asker]

I will. I've actually done research. I can understand how it is hard and how it's not easy.. Walking away is the best thing you can do. Temporary pain will give a lifetime or satisfaction. Let me tell you this... Does your boyfriend treat or talk to you the same way he dues his mother? I don't think so... So that's yet another answer

[Bricealan]

Women to back to and live with men that have beaten them... No understanding of that by me.

[jahaims]

She emotionally unhealthy and subconsciously finds comfort with abuse

[Asker]

what are things i can do to make her realise this is not the right thing?

[jahaims]

She's *

[jahaims]

Nothing, move on, she is too broken to try and have a relationship with.

[Asker]

So i'll say i'am 28, she is 24. I asked like if a past relationship was like this but it was not. I think maybe something with her childhood. I noticed the woman that i know like this, its something deep inside

[jahaims]

That's called trauma

[Cheerfull009]

Because that guy is perfect in sex, gives full satisfaction

[HelpfulWoman]

yeah thats a nope.

[Malwi93]

They have some nice traits

[Billlewis]

Are you one of those women who likes to watch the guy you're dating beat some other guy's ass?

[Chayce]

Stockholm Syndrome