My ex dated another girl just a day after our breakup?

[Anonymous]

Was he sincerely in love with me? He literally vowed that I'd be his first and last love but guess that isn't what's written in our fate lol. He was the sweetest guy ever tbh he even wrote 2 books about me and wrote a love para everyday, rejected every girl for me, never batted an eye over any girl, consoled me, was everything you could ask for in a boyfriend but like.. he seemed totally in love that I couldn't accept the fact that he found someone else and moved on in such a short duration..

[DaveJord]

I am going to tell you the truth. You will not like it or expect it. But it is the truth none the less.

You are under 18 years old. You honestly are still just learning so many things about live, and love is one of the most complicated things there is to understand. You can live a whole lifetime and still never figure out what it is to be truly in love.

At your age, if you want to believe it or not... this was not love. It was infatuation. Infatuation is highly intoxicating. I assure you that he was highly infatuated with you. When you are in the deeps of depths into infatuation, you will mistake it easily for love. You imagine that could be nothing else but love. But honestly truly love is what you have left once the infatuation wears off. And trust me infatuation never lasts forever, at some point there is a cooling off period, and then love is what holds the relationship together, once the two of you determine how best to work through issues together. Until you have experienced infatuation enough in life, you easily mistake it for one thing, instead of the other.

So, this teenage boy, I assume, probably was seriously infatuated, and mistook it for love. But as the that infatuation diminished, as it always does... he starts to feel stupid. Because he had said so many silly things that now, just seem empty to him. And started to feel insecure about it and maybe even ashamed. At the time he believed every word he was saying, but he was in the grasp of infatuation. But at some point he realized he was being foolish, because on some level he is beginning to figure out the difference between true love and infatuation and not all those things he said sound hollow to him. But he said so many things, and there is no way to take those things back now... but it doesn't feel the same as it was to him at the time in which he said them. It was emotionally immature for him to say them at the time, and he knows that now, but is still too emotionally immature to find a way to put things back into balance. Because now he is unsure how he feels, and there for he feels like a fool.

And now, he has found someone else to be infatuated with. Because the feeling of infatuation is intoxicating... and he still hasn't completely sort out the difference.

[Asker]

I appreciate the time you've invested on explaining :) but honestly I'm the one who decided to break up with him since he's emotionally unstable and self harms himself over the slightest pain he feels from me.. that trait of his was so contagious that i adopted the trait and harming myself became my coping mechanism over time.. we got into an argument bc I didn't wanna celebrate the day we met lol i couldn't handle such an unstable relationship anymore and decided to end it all tbh

[DaveJord]

See you are beginning to the figure out the difference already. You got caught up with the intoxiction of infatuation, but then realized on so many level that what ever it was that got involved at the start, is not the same thing as love.

Then you realized on some level, the only difference between you and this guy... is that you are beginning to figure it out, and he still has no clue. Infatuation can become very discomforting once you start to realize what it really is and what you doing to yourself. There is nothing wrong with a beer or two, once you turn 21, but if have to sit down and drink a 6 pack ever day to get through the day... you got a problem. He it's called being love drunk. You get blinded by the intoxication for a while, until you realize drinking that much so often is not healthy for you.

You also learned, more about what RED Flags to look for in a person early on, before infatuation takes hold over you. So do not be ashamed of this experience. It is a learning process, and it is good that you learn these things for yourself. But at the same time, step back and ensure you are learning the right lesson, so that you are better prepared for the next time and prevent yourself from making the same mistakes.

[Asker]

It's all thanks to you! Thank you so much for making me realise where this relationship actually stood and I do feel a lot better now ^^ may you attain great things in life

[DaveJord]

Same to you and thank you.

[molonski2]

Look , you are very young , and I can really remember that pain and belief from when I was 17 , forever is not forever at any age , and its certainly not at 15/16 / 17 ..

Dont worry you can still feel pain at my age hahaha.

You are young , he is young , don't take it to heart , just focus on being the best you can be , I know it hurts now , but just enjoy your youth , if I could go back to being 17 , I'd play the game a lot differently than I did then.

[RageBabe]

You should remember that young love is ephemeral, and David did a great job answering your question. Naturally, there are a few exceptional high school sweetheart relationships, but they are not very common. All of this to say, he probably had feelings for you, but I doubt he even knows what he truly wants, and I doubt this relationship will be any different. Therefore, try not to worry too much, as there are plenty of other relationships for people your age to choose from, and he will come back to you rather than the other way around when he realises his mistakes, but if not, it doesn't mean you are not worth it. You are very worth it. Best wishes

[Asker]

we did think it'd last for a lifetime too but it was evanescent afterall haha. Well tysm for your sweet words!

[RageBabe]

🫶🏼✨

[rosemilk]

i don't know what you expected from a guy under 18 years old lol this is very common for that age group

[Gent207-2]

I think this exact question has already been posted

He never loved you

[Asker]

But ain't the efforts he poured into our relationship clearly against your claims..

[Gent207-2]

If he loved you it was weak and fleeting

[KittygosMeoWW]

they were talking before then

[Anonymous]

To tease you

[Asker]

would be out of his mind to do that to someone he loved the most at some point lol

[Opinion Owner]

I don't know but he try to make u jealous

[Asker]

So you're saying that he's actually not dating that girl?

[Opinion Owner]

Yessss

[Asker]

What's the point lol it's been 3weeks and i still haven't returned back to him.. and he's still matching pfps with his new chick