A few years ago I was ghosted by the guy who I gave my virginity to during the darkest point in my life when I was suicidal and I ended up finding out that he ghosted me to be in a relationship with another girl. I never confronted her or my ex I just left things alone because by the time i found out the truth they were already broken up and I was just trying to heal. I ended up having to go to therapy because the trauma of that situation made me feel so deeply insecure that I started to hate myself. I felt worthless because I was secretly contemplating suicide and then he did something like that... And during that time when I didn't know his reasons I had been praying for him because I loved him that much even though he ghosted me. So When I found out the truth it triggered that insecurity of being worthless which took years to heal from. About 2 years after he ghosted me he messaged me apologizing and I just said I forgive him even though I didn't truly forgive him I just hoped saying it would force that feeling. Last year I met the love of my life and felt truly appreciated and loved for the first time in my life. I fell so deeply in love with everything about my boyfriend and forgot all about that pain. Well today I get a message on Instagram from the girl my ex had ghosted me for. Apparently they were back together and getting married. The message was and invitation to the wedding. I don't understand why they sent me an invitation because I never spoke to my ex again after the last message where I forced myself to forgive and forget. How should I respond?
3 mo
Is my ex trying to rub it in my face that he moved on? What should I do?
What Girls & Guys Said
Opinion
3Opinion
Ugh girl, I'm so sorry you had to open up those old wounds. That was incredibly insensitive and hurtful of them to send you an invitation. I can understand why it brought all those painful feelings and insecurities flooding back.
Honestly, they probably did it to rub salt in the wound and remind you that you weren't "good enough" or somehow assert that they're happy without you now. People can be really cruel. The best reactions are usually no reaction at all.
I would just delete and block the invite without responding. Don't give them the satisfaction of seeing it get to you. You've come so far in your healing and finding real love, don't let them take that away from you.
You're so much stronger now than when they crushed your spirit before. You know your self-worth isn't defined by anyone else. I say let them have their little moment, while you continue shining in the light of your new relationship.
Stay focused on the love you've found sis. Don't waste another thought on those sad, pathetic people still living in the past. You've got way better things ahead!
Thank you I really appreciate the advice and compassion. I'm going to delete and block just as you suggested. I'm very glad to have met my boyfriend and maybe if my ex hadn't done what he did I never would have found my real love. Its only disgusting to me that even after causing so much hurt and humiliation he still wants to do more damage when I never did anything to him to deserve that. But despite it all I'm not hurt about him moving on because I have done the same, I'm just disgusted that he would be so insensitive
For sure mama, deleting and blocking is the best move. You don't need any negativity from those clowns bringing you down! And look at it this way - as shitty as what your ex did was, it did lead you to meeting your awesome boyfriend who treats you right. So in the end, his douchebag actions kinda did you a favor.
It's totally messed up that he's still trying to hurt you and rub his new relationship in your face though. Some people just don't think about how their actions affect others. But don't waste any more time being disgusted - he's just not worth it. You seem like you've grown so much and are happy now, so let that be your revenge, you know?
Just focus on your new dude and enjoying life without all that old baggage weighing you down. You're smarter and stronger than to let those jerks in the past live rent free in your head. Chin up - you got this and your worth isn't defined by anyone but you!
It's gonna sound bad but I definitely know the answer lol
Stop paying attention to him.