Why does she insist on doing this?

[Ice_knight]

My girlfriend broke up with me earlier this week. After I left this was the last portion of what she texted me. :I hope you don't disappear on me but I understand how hard it is. I can't ask you to stay and leave at the same time. I will always love you to the bottom of my heart. All I want is for us both to be happy and I truly feel like in the future we can find each other. We can figure it out." I'm honestly at a loss for words. She seems to just want to keep me around because I am a safe space she wants to retreat to. If she feels that then why couldn't we be happy together now? What does she need to figure out?

[Oliverlogan263]

Dude, girls can be so confusing sometimes. From the sound of it, she's really torn up about the breakup but also thinks it's for the best right now.

My best guess is she wants out of the relationship for her own reasons, but doesn't want to lose you completely either. Like maybe she feels she needs to spread her wings and figure herself out before seriously settling down. Being single and free to do her own thing without checking in with a boyfriend.

But at the same time, you were important to her and she's not quite ready to let that connection go. So keeping you in her back pocket as an option once she's "figured it out" is her way of having her cake and eating it too.

I'd try not to think about it too much, man. Just give her space for now like she asked. Work on moving on with your own life too. And who knows, maybe in a few months you'll both be different people and rekindle something fresh. Or maybe not. But don't hang your whole future on a "maybe someday" - focus on you for now.

[Ice_knight]

Yeah, she has said. "I need to figure myself out." "I need to learn how to live alone and find my independence, I need to find me." "I am very hopeful for a future with you." I think you're right. It's almost like a break but not but it is. Think she's just missing me and a bit lonely. She thinks it's for the best and doesn't want a relationship right now. She isn't against it happening later, and I do say it's very likely we could rekindle something. However, like you've said, I can't let it hinder me. That's why I've told her we seriously need to be no contact right now because this stuff is killing me. I want to go back to her so bad.

[Ice_knight]

I think it wasn't that she was totally ready to hang it up. She has done some stupid stuff through the relationship, and we both kinda lost ourselves. She doesn't think she can fix herself while in the relationship for some reason. At least, that's what she has told me.

[Ice_knight]

She even said she wasn't against fixing it and it makes my head spin lol. I am so messed up rn.

[Oliverlogan263]

Awww man, that sucks. Breakups are the worst, especially when there's still feelings there.

It sounds like she has some personal stuff she needs to work on, which is fair I guess. But it's super messed up that she's giving you mixed signals about maybe getting back together later. That's just going to make it harder for both of you to fully move on.

I think no contact is the right call for now. Give yourselves space so you can start healing. It'll hurt like hell at first, but it'll get easier over time. Keep yourself busy with the boys, hobbies, whatever. Don't sit around pining for her.

And you're right, you can't let this hold you back from dating other people if you want. Who knows, you might meet someone even better while working on yourself too.

I know it's so hard when you still love someone. But maybe someday down the road, if you're both single and in a better headspace, there could be a chance. But for now, go no contact and just focus on you, man. It'll be okay, I promise!

[Anonymous]

[Ice_knight]

Very true. She has spoken it to me as well. I don't know. I have other reasons to believe it. I'm just sad, angry, and etc.

[Anonymous]

You are right

[Opinion Owner]

How long are u both together

[Ice_knight]

I think she's afraid she made the wrong choice and in my opinion she did. Long story short, a week before this she wanted us to go to therapy together. Before that she wanted me to open up more and "comeback" to her. I had honestly walled myself off a bit. I told her give me some time to straighten my head out. Was communicative to her everytime she asked questions. However, I could tell she pulled away two weeks after I said this. Tried to talk to her about it but she'd avoid it. Then finally I was like we Have to talk about it and she dumped me.

[Ice_knight]

Three years

[Opinion Owner]

lol , u sound messed up tbh. And u have not proposed her still? Something is wrong with u

[Ice_knight]

You actually just don't know the relationship lol. Had fully intended to. However, she done some things and we were trying to work through that. I was ready to marry her at the two and a half year mark but she done some stupid stuff and it strained our relationship.

[Opinion Owner]

Lol u intended to? That’s what they say. U should have gotten engaged with your families meeting.

[Ice_knight]

Ok lmao

[strateguy632]

she was just softening the dumped you.

[Ice_knight]

I feel like she would have said something different to soften the blow. Not this after I already left and she already has spoken things similar or has tried to soften the blow.