6 weeks of no contact, what is my ex thinking?

[Anonymous]

I’ve just ended an 8 year relationship. We have known each other 15 plus years. Our relationship was open, and we was allowed sex or certain types of sexual contact with agreed partners throughout the relationship, and we often took part in group sex sessions. None of that is relevant as such, but I guess our relationship was a little different in regards to the average. That aside we was very much in love, we was best friends first and foremost, I always felt loved and wanted by him which only helped in an open relationship. I never felt jealous because I always felt he would always choose me, and they were such a physical pleasure. 6 months ago I got pregnant and things felt different afterwards, the baby wasn’t planned (and yes it was 100% his; we use protection.) but we agreed to keep the baby, and felt excited. We agreed to end the open relationship until I felt comfortable enough to continue after the baby was born. Sadly at 15 weeks I lost the baby, and I can’t put my finger on it, or find the words but I just didn’t feel he was supportive enough. Maybe it was all in my head, I know it was difficult for him too. I voiced this, on many occasions and he agreed to make more effort, but afterwards nothing he done felt enough, and with his failure to try harder I gave up and ended things 6 weeks ago, it’s almost 7. It’sthe longest we’re never had contact for, it’s been tough but I’ve felt a sense of calm too. I’ve cried a lot, and I’ve wiped my own tears and realised I don’t need a man to do it. He hasn’t contacted or tried to contact me once, I have blocked him on social media etc but if he wanted to it’s possible and easy enough to contact me. Part of me thinks he’s letting me have my moment, and expects me to come running back with my tail between my legs. The other says he’s respecting my boundaries and quite possibly wants to reach out but isn’t becus I made it clear it was over, the other is he doesn’t care atall and has found out he’s happier without me.

[Changiis07]

He wasn't supportive because even though you both say you were in an open relationship it still would look like a friends with benefits sort of thing. It truly shocks me how people can have open relationships like that and feel no jealousy or expect the guy to be there and be supportive when you are both not being committed to each other and having sex with others. It's just mind boggling to me how this world is nowadays and how anyone is okay with it, again it's not my life but all I'm saying it's shocking to hear

[sawno]

Some alarm bells went off in this one, you are dealing with a tragic loss. If that happened to me and I was in your position it could also easily come across like my partner isn't helping me enough due to the immense grief and pain that causes. I wouldn't be in the right mindset to judge my partner properly.

" I have blocked him on social media" is a big sign that you don't want him in your life anymore. For all you know he's just focusing on moving on and your about to loose him completely.

What he actually thinks isn't relevant, its about if your making a mistake or not. Did you jump the gun here or do you actually want him out of your life? If you want him out of your life let him go, get over it and who cares if he's gonna contact you or not. But if you do want him go after him before its to late.

[Anonymous]

You're both dealing with what would have been a life milestone which then wasn't to be. There's a whole lot of emotions that go with that. Especially for the woman and all those hormones. But also the man.
You then broke up with him and blocked him. You don't get to complain when he's not around. You also have no idea what is going through his head. If he was loving before, he's probably not just turned it off. But he can take a hint. Maybe he is trying to move on. You can't have it both ways.

[TommyMountainFigure]

Firstly, I am very sorry for the loss of your baby.

I get the impression you like to try and rationalise everything, and some things it is good to do that, but when it comes to why people act a certain way after a break up, that's not always the right thing to do, because not everyone thinks or behaves rationally.
I would suggest, instead of dwelling on who what or why, to let the relationship sink in to the depths of the past, and look now to a new start and a new future!

[OhLongJohnsoning]

You should not be in contact at all with an ex. He's an ex.

YOU MOVE ON

[provokeesmokee]

He is your ex.

Move. On.

[In_Trance]

Stop interacting with your ex