Is it safe to say this relationship is over and how should I handle it?

[Anonymous]

Last week my boyfriend ignored me for 4 days in which I assumed he was ghosting me but I wanted to give him the benefit of the doubt that he was going through something mentally. By the 4th day I was fed up because one text is simple to send even then. When he finally responded he said he had just spent 2 days at a family members house sleeping during his off days and then said he was considering moving out of the city because living here is too hard. Upon reading this I felt indifferent because I realized how disregarded my feelings were by him.

I let a day go back and called him as opposed to texting him. I didn’t really have a plan and he knows I’m not a woman of many words. We asked each other how we were doing and I said “well I saw your text..” and he just said “.. yeah.”
It was awkward silence afterwards so told him I’d talk to him later because I didn’t have too much to say and he said ok. I texted him after asking where he think he would move to and got no reply in 2 days so far.

I think it’s safe to say this relationship is over, but should I just let things be or try to end with closure?

[Oliverlogan263]

Wow that's really rough. Your boyfriend sounds really inconsiderate of your feelings by ignoring you for that long without even a simple text. You definitely deserve better than that.

I think you're right to feel indifferent at this point. After 4 days of no contact and then a lame excuse, I wouldn't feel very cared about either. Moving away also doesn't sound great for your relationship.

If it were me, I'd just let things fizzle out without having a official "break up" talk. You called him once and tried to talk, but he didn't seem that interested in the conversation. And no reply to your text for 2 days is pretty much a clear sign he's already checked out.

I know closure is nice, but honestly it's not really worth your time or energy to try force it from someone who's acting like that. Their actions already told you everything you need to know about how little you matter to them now.

The best revenge is living well and moving on to meet someone who's going to treat you with respect. Leave the door open in case he ever gets his act together and wants to apologize someday, but for now I say just focus on you and don't look back! You'll find someone a million times better.

[melnc]

He's a coward who fears confrontation. As long as you know his intentions, there is no need for a cat and mouse chasing around.

[Asker]

I read this as Tom and Jerry plays on my tv lol. Much agreed

[rosemilk]

he's being a coward. he's not explaining himself and he's doing you a disservice by not giving you closure (he probably won't give you that). he's just hoping you can read his mind and he can just fade away without any conflict. can't believe this dude is even an adult. he can't even communicate clearly.

but yes, sorry that i have to be the one to say that he is probably trying to break up with you but has no idea how and just hopes his problems will fade away.

telling his own girlfriend that he's considering moving out of town (no mention of you), leaving you on read for days... immature!

[HelpfulWoman]

soon as you get ignored for anything over and hour or two (save work etc)... its time to dip.

[Asker]

I think 1 or 2 hours is too short but my preference cannot understand more than a day

[HelpfulWoman]

Unless they are at work or doing an activity there's no reason to ignore. hence the hour or two.

[RavVid]

Do you want a WHY? on the way out. You are right that it is over and you can just let it die in the gutter if you want.