I think this relationship is over?

[Anonymous]

hey guys, i’ve been in a relationship for 10 years. we were once so happy now i can tell he’s no longer interested. he barely calls me or texts me. when i call him, i have to call two to three times for him to answer and when he does answer its short answers. mind you i don’t call him for anything exciting or happy, i call him to nag him about (example: why we don’t go out on dates, why he liked girls butt and bikini pictures, why he doesn’t call me anymore, if he’s still interested) stuff like that. also he’s been telling me that he doesn’t care about what i say a lot lately. we hung out at a party yesterday and i left at 2pm because i was getting tired and he stayed. he usually calls me to make sure i got home okay or he’ll call me asking me to come back and he didn’t do that. i asked him a few days ago if he’s losing interest and he told me no, but i don’t believe it. im sad about this whole thing and i don’t know what to do. i don’t have money for a therapist. any advice will be helpful, thank you.

[Anonymous]

Once you get to this place where he no longer respects you or cares what you think then I’d say it’s time to break up. I am not a fan of those temporary splits because if anything is going to be resolved it needs to happen together as a couple. Breaks just give the other party a hall pass to do what they want while you wait around to be picked. To me that is so torturous and hurtful. I won’t lie and say 10 years is easy to walk away from, it would be a hard split and you’d need lots of support and love to get through this. But I think as of now that’s the healthiest option.

[spartan55]

You might want to look at your part in and take some accountability. Start with: "I call him to nag about... XYZ

[Asker]

yes you are right. it’s just that if i don’t call him, i’ll never get a call from him lately anyway. before he would call me all the time.

[spartan55]

Why do you think he doesn't now? He doesn't want to hear it.

[Asker]

should we just break up or do you think is this salvageable?

[spartan55]

There's not enough info to give an informed answer, but if this accurate I would say it's over. Are you familiar with sunken cost fallacy?

[BigDog1989]

I hope so

[Asker]

you hope so what?

[BigDog1989]

that its over

[In_Trance]

so move on