What could be the reasons for our breakup if this is the reason he gave me?

[Anonymous]

My boyfriend of a year and a half ended it with me 4 weeks ago. He keeps saying he wishes there was a reason because it would make things easier, but things have just felt “off”. I initially thought he wasn’t attracted to me anymore because we hadn’t had sex in 3 weeks prior to the break up before he ended it, even after I would try to initiate it. I brought it up to him and asked if he has lost attraction and he promised me it’s not that at all. Prior to the 3 weeks I thought things were perfect and I really thought he was my future.

He texts me constantly and we even hung out last week and slept together. I know it’s stupid of me. But he literally still talks to me everyday as we would when we were together except without being boyfriend and girlfriend.

I just want to know other peoples opinion on what they think the reasons could be of why he would have ended it if he still wants to talk to me everyday. I’m so lost!! And what remaining “friends” could mean? I’m heartbroken and don’t know what to do.

[Oliverlogan263]

Damn girl, that really sucks what you're going through. Breakups are always hard no matter what. It seems pretty confusing what's going on with your ex too.

A few things could be going on from what you said. Seems like maybe he's having some doubts or getting cold feet about being in a serious relationship. The no sex for a few weeks before ending it is a red flag. Guys tend to lose interest if things aren't physical.

It's also sketchy that he wants to still hang out and talk all the time but not be official. Sounds like he might be keeping you on the back burner in case he changes his mind or something. Or maybe he just wants the benefits of a relationship without the commitment.

Being "just friends" after dating that long usually doesn't work cause feelings don't go away that fast. He's probably just saying that so it's not a totally clean break or he likes the attention.

Honestly it might be best to take some space for yourself and not talk as much. Don't be his backup plan. You deserve someone who's all in and knows what they want. I'd try moving on and meeting other people instead of waiting around for him to make up his mind. Hope this helps give you some clarity! Just do what's best for you.

[melnc]

He doesn't want commitment, leaning toward keeping his options open in case a better opportunity arises. When your partner treats you as a friend, it's a sign you're no longer a priority and you can be left behind at any time. Accepting relationships where you're treated as second after being on top is a reflection of your self worth. The reasonable thing you can do for yourself is to stop and realign yourself to the right path.
Just say NO!!