Would I ever get him back?

Question

We broke up 2 weeks ago and on no contact terms. We had our ups and downs, but the downs weren't harmless, at least to me i guess. Like he was so nonchalant and laid back type of a guy and i just needed attention a lot. We've been together for almost 3 years and we really do love each other and were about to get engaged. One day we fought like usual, but he said let's break up because of our different religious beliefs. I tried to compromise so we can meet in the middle, he said no because he doesn't feel the same about me anymore. I just know he's lying to push me away, i had this feeling that was confirmed by a mutual friend. He's just afraid to do better and work on himself, he thought the only way to run from the urge to change is to run away from the relationship. I'm still in love, still in pain, i cry all the time literally. What should i do? I don't know even why I'm typing this but i feel like I'm gonna die.

Oliverlogan263 · Accepted Answer

Aww man, I'm sorry to hear you're going through all that pain over this breakup. Breaking up after being together for 3 years is so rough, I can't even imagine how much it hurts.

It sounds like from your description, this dude may not be ready for the level of commitment that comes with marriage. Getting cold feet and using religion as an excuse to end things is definitely sketchy behavior on his part too.

I know it's really hard right now, but honestly the best thing is probably to just keep focusing on moving on. Crying all the time and holding onto hope isn't gonna do you any good in the long run, even if you still love him. If a guy really wants to be with you, he won't make up excuses - he'll find a way to compromise and make it work.

The no contact is a good call, keep that up so you can start healing. As time passes it'll hurt less and less each day, I promise. Why don't you try hanging with your girls more, going out to dinner or the movies to distract yourself when you feel down. Hit the gym too, working out does wonders for your mood.

You seem like a really caring person who's willing to put in effort for love. You'll find another guy who appreciates you for who you are someday. Right now just take it one day at a time - before you know it this will all be in your past and you'll be waaay over him. Hang in there!

Maybe_Maybe_not · Accepted Answer

Reading your description,  I would ask you if you really know about his love for you , because it's easy to overlook this part when you are in love, it makes us relatively... Blind. Makes seeing a "we" when in fact there are two distinct people, with distinct and complex feelings involved, and usually an inability to voice them completely, especially in your age range. Now yes, pressure to commit can be something felt strongly, depending on his personality VERY strongly, to the point of crumbling and wanting out. If you have still access to him,  try to find a way to have him uncover what he doesn't say?  If this is pressure that made him break up, logically,  you should try removing some of the stakes  when talking with him? In all cases, and given the sorrow you describe, don't stay too far from friends and family, it's maybe not much to look at when pain strikes but it's some help, it's already something :)