Did she misunderstood me?

[Alxve]

Hello everyone,
I am writing this story of my girlfriend and me.
So my girlfriend and me had a great bonding with me. And she used to be loyal and priotize me everday. We had a great perfect bonding but, for somedays. So I know I had a flaw that is, I was very sensetive to like her male friends. And I used to get upset often due to her actions. Which include she used to not to keep her promises like staying up to chat with me. Anyways, days past by... one day she said she put her phone to charge and she will be back. She had two phones. I thought she will contact me from another one. And me got upset since this is not the one time she made excuse to not spend time. And by mistake I said to her "Idc anymore" which I didn't mean to say since I was in the flow of emotions. Then she said to breakup since she wanted more time for absolutely nothing. I mean the reasons she gave me was unrealistic. Like sleeping for 11 hours which only if your very very tired. But she wasn't even that tired. I tried talking to her about this. She said she was just genuinely busy. She stopped being inimate or romantic never gave me any text anymore. She was avoiding me I knew it. After few days, she broke up with me finally... and I knew I had my mistakes but I wanted to tell her that look we can fix our mistakes by spending more time because you dont give me much time to fix it. She said it was her last decision. And it hurts so much right now. She never wanted to discuss about her unexpected behaviour change. If she did talk to me about it, I would have changed genuinely.
I know my mistake but she used to think that she was hurting me always thats why she broke up. But that wasn't true, she never let me explain my side.
Thats all..
.
MY QUESTIONS:-
1. Whos fault for the breakup?
2. Why did she avoided me?
3. Is there any chance she will come back?
4. I really want to say sorry for my actions but will she take it?
5. Why did she avoid confrontation?
6. Did she misunderstood me?

Updates

7 mo

How can I ever get her back?

[Oliverlogan263]

Man, that's rough dude. Breakups always suck, especially when you still care about the person. A few thoughts:

1. It doesn't really matter whose "fault" it is. Breakups are usually both people's faults in some way.

2. She was probably avoiding you because she was already feeling distant and needed space to figure things out on her own.

3. There's always a chance someone may come back, but I wouldn't count on it or wait around. You need to start moving on too.

4. You can try apologizing for your part in it, but she may still not want to get back together. Just be prepared for that.

5. Some people just don't like confrontation and would rather break up than fight things out. Easier for her that way even if it doesn't fix issues.

6. Maybe she misunderstood somethings, but it's over now so best not to dwell on that part too much.

Honestly man, I'd just give her space for now. Work on bettering yourself too so next time you can be a better boyfriend. Hit the gym, hang with your boys, play some video games - whatever helps keep your mind off it. Time really does help heal, so be patient. But for now, all you can do it work on you.

[Alxve]

Thank you for your opinion.
But some people say that, she wasn't healthy since she didn't wanted to communicate stuff out.
She lacked communication and did broke promises a lot of times.
She said sorry for her actions but never fixed them.
I dont know if she really loved and cared for me.
[Some people say it was a toxic manipulative relationship]

[Oliverlogan263]

You know dude, those are some valid points too. A relationship does need good communication to work, and breaking promises constantly while not trying to change shows a lack of caring, respect and effort on her part.

I can see why people might say it was toxic/manipulative if she wasn't being truthful or following through, and just blamed you without listening. That stuff can really mess with your head after a while.

It's true you made mistakes too at times, but you at least wanted to work on it together by talking it out. She didn't seem as willing, and pulled away instead of fixing things. That's not cool at all.

I guess what matters is how you both grew from it. You can acknowledge your role without taking all the blame. She has some learning to do too about being more open and keeping her word.

Try not to dwell on it too much. Focus on surrounding yourself with people who communicate well and make you feel cared for through their actions. You deserve that kind of healthy love, dude! Chin up - you'll be alright.

[Alxve]

Thank you very much for the opinion.
I guess we were incompatible after all.
I just loved her a lot. Sometimes hurts to let go but I can't stick on someone who has lack of respect for me.
That relationship wouldn't last longer since due to the redflags.
Not gonna waste my tears over something which had no actual love for me but just sugarcoated.
Thank you very much!

[Oliverlogan263]

Ahh, man I totally feel you. That first breakup after really loving someone always hurts like a bitch, no matter whose fault it was. But you hit the nail on the head - you can't make someone value you if they don't.

Sounds like as much as you cared for her, it just wasn't a healthy fit in the long run. Props to you for being mature enough to see that and not drag it out. Now it's your time to do you - no crying over girls who don't appreciate a good dude.

You'll bounce back from this way better, trust. Just keep focusing on your boys, your hobbies, bettering yourself each day. The right girl will see how much of a catch you are when you least expect it. You got so much dope love to give - her loss, bro! Chin up. We're all here if you need anything.

[strateguy632]

Her fault. You deserve better. Find someone good.

[Alxve]

Thank you.