How would you start the “breakup” conversation?

[debby]

I’ve decided to break up with my boyfriend not because he’s a bad partner, but because I see no future for us. He talks about marriage and kids, but we’re incompatible. I need advice on how to start that conversation—whether in person or otherwise.

[Caroline91]

Especially because you say he isn't a bad partner, if I were you, I would put the onus on myself. I would tell him that I can see what a good partner he is, but that I don't feel you can give him what he needs because I don't feel there are enough areas of compatibility for my needs. Then, if he starts to try to negotiate, which he very well may, tell him you have made up your mind and you want to part in the best way possible for both of you, with kindness. I would tell him he is a wonderful person and that I want the best for us both, but I just don't see it as us together.

[Makeushiver]

The first thing you need to do is to be sure you want what the result is. If it is a long term commitment or marriage specifically, get a date set. If he chooses, "breakup" are you prepared to follow though. What happens when he says, you know I love you baby but I just can't make that decision with everything that's going on at work. Why don't we go out to ( your favorite restaurant) and talk about it more. If he says okay, bye be ready to say, "take your tongue outta my mouth cause I'm kissing you goodbye". You only get one chance at this so be sure your dressed for the occasion whether it's running shoes or heels

[Maybe_Maybe_not]

The best start is: "We have to talk"

Just kidding, ummm, that really depends on how much you can usually communicate, how much he is blind, how much you gave signs for this to come... Without all these informations, I'd say just bring THE topic of dissension for you, on the table. The more diplomatically you can?

[jvnxs]

He's a good person, yet you do not see a future with him. No judgement on my end of course! I would mull on it for a bit, before making a final choice if I'm really going to go through with this. How I personally would start the conversation, is of course issuing my main concern. "I don't really see a future with us, I don't want to pursue anything further." That's at least how I would do it. I wish you the best of luck with whatever decision you make, and hope it's what's best for you.

[melnc]

Just be direct. Tell him you don’t see a future together, even if he wants to talk about marriage and kids. It’s better to be honest now than to drag it out.
The easy way or the hard way, they're still the same bullet.

[AviatorTom]

I can't say it any better than @melnc

[natured]

Just be direct, and I would do it in person, it's the adult way to do.
I would start with something like : we need to have a difficult conversation, the things that we have are not aligning for me, I love everything that we've done together but it is time for me to move on.
Be as gentle as you can
It'll go alright

[SuchSightsToShowYou]

The very first sentence you say should be the break-up sentence.

"I'm breaking up with you."

After that, you and your ex can talk about WHY you broke up with him, and go through any details like returning each other's stuff.

But don't say anything that makes him think the breakup is negotiable.

[slatyb]

You don't "start the conversation." You say what you are going to do and that's it.

This isn't working for me. I'm not going to see you again (or move out, or tell him he needs to move out)

[Mado108]

Tell him on the phone not face to face just to be safe. You never know how men can react to losing you.

[DannyUk2017]

I have been told DIRECT, i cannot lie, it brought me in the brink of doing some crazy stuff, but then it all passed...🤷‍♂️

[ohmyguy]

You just do.. he must sense the tension that must exist between you..

People cheat cause they can't.. communicate. Be straight up..

With all and any issues

[strateguy632]

Write "we are not working, bye" send n block. No arguments.

[TheLovelyWoman]

“Listen uhhhh things between us haven’t been going so well right? I am thinking maybe we should take break to figure things out.”

[BTigers96]

..."it's not you, it's me."

It works every time. 😀

[spartan55]

How long have you been together? Is there any sort of abuse going on, threats to your safety?

[Nikki1989]

You don't need to explain every little detail. Make it as quick and as painless as possible.

[MicahRaine]

"this isn't working and I want us to both be happy and thrive"

[LiamJHayden]

I always say it like it is. Gently, but truthfully.

[DrPepper12]

It's been real, it's been fun but I can't see real fun for future us...

[seth900]

Why did you wasted his time good question? So you spent all this time all was good and suddenly you see no future so what you seen before?

[OtterMan68]

compliment him first, then hit him with the bad news.

[Twalli]

Tell him that while you love him, you two can't provide the future to each other you want.

[chocolatetwopointo]

id js say ” i wanna break up, bye ” ain't that hard

[Deserter2]

"Get out loser, time to go back to your shitty life before you met me!"

[Slim57]

There's no good way to do it if you've just been stringing him along from the sound of it.

[jojouzumaki]

Be gentle and honest but not brutal.

[MicahRaine]

^that

[Mwolf]

Can I be honest with you about something

[exitseven]

We need to talk

[MasterKS]

Being honest is best key!