What does it mean if an ex wants to support you through troubled times?

[Finchie40]

My ex said she has my back , and said she is going to support me through this hell I am going though , She wants to be back with me but she has burned me to many times to the point I can’t really trust her anymore , so do I let her support me and give her another chance? She is the only one there for me at this time?

[Anonymous]

If you've already made the determination that she's no good for you, you really can't rely on her through difficult times.
It's just to complicated to get mixed up with her again and you won't have the bandwidth to manage the relationship and the necessary boundaries as you'd need to.

[Finchie40]

Yea I told her I am grateful that she is willing to help me out but it doesn’t change anything between us , , she said she understands but not giving up on me

[NathanDavis]

sure... bring more madness to the trash fire... lol

[katiesmuff]

NO! It seems things are over for the two of you and friends fine, but don't let her get into your life any longer. Find a different way to work your problems out as it will turn out much better than if you let the ex do the helping.

[Finchie40]

I made it clear to her that there is no coming back , that ship has sailed , she said she still loves me and wants to be here for me and said she understands that she fucked up our relationship by her selfishness , but she still wants to be friends with me because she knows I took care of her ass for a long ass time , so she wants to support me until I find a decent job. Which I am grateful for since this country has gone to hell ina hand basket , we agreed once the kids’ are on their own , her and I are going to sell this house and go our separate ways unless one of us meets someone else and then we will take it from there. We no longer sleep together and she knows the passion I once had for her is gone and that there is no bringing it back , she has tried having sex with me but I push her off and tell her she is wasting her time , it’s not going to fix anything the damage is done , I am not going to lie pushing her off sometimes is hard for me to do because I love sex , but I know it’s not going to solve anything , in the back of her mind she feels like she has a chance with me again and I can see it on her face when she is near me but I told her I am not her fucking convenience , you destroyed me way too many times to the point I have nothing more to give to you. Our relationship has been nothing but a vicious cycle that keeps repeating it self. To the point I had no other choice but to throw in the towel , My attraction to her is gone. Her negativity and selfishness made her ugly to me. I don’t hate her I just don’t have those feelings for her anymore. I am attracted to other girls’ and no longer attracted to her. I am nothing but honest with her if she can’t handle my honesty that’s her problem. She chose this not me. I am not a fucking wind up doll that she can play with when it’s convenient for her , she chose to no longer be intimate and affectionate with me , she chose everyone else over me , I realized I deserve someone better than that shit

[Finchie40]

Now that she knows she can’t have me is making her chase me , I just shake my head and tell her she needs serious mental help , I said go find someone else to tolerate your selfish ways and good luck to you and good luck to whoever falls for your shit. I clearly understand why every guy prior to me has left her sorry ass , she was the problem not them

[jojouzumaki]

NO. I’ve been reading your previous post and now this. She doesn’t sound genuine about supporting you. She’ll seem to be using the opportunity to make you feel dependent on her (emotionally). Don’t give that power…

[jard82521]

Id say let her support and help you, but dont let yourself get reattached to her again, do your best to not develope feelings for her, remember exactly how she made you feel. You dont have to trust her, and if you feel uncomfortable tell her it won't work

[Nikki1989]

Some people remain friends with their exes, as they should.

[Finchie40]

Yea her and I are still friends , she wants another chance with me , but that ship has sailed for me , we no longer see eye to eye on things to the point I don’t feel that connection with her like i use to. I realized I am just a convenience to her , she only loves me when it’s convenient for her and when she gets her way , Now that I am not giving into her she is chasing me more , which blows my mind , like she is turned on by me not giving into her , like she is drawn to my bad boy side , which I am not being bad, I am just being honest , when we first met each other , she told me I was the first nice guy she ever been with and that’s what she was drawn to , even though I was just being myself , years go by together and all of a sudden it’s like she wants me to be an asshole all of a sudden to turn her on ,, I honesty don’t get it ,

[the29thhuman]

Her using this difficult time for you is quite low. Getting at you when you’re already vulnerable is a very crapy thing to do towards someone.
I’d say heck with her. You’re busy and it sounds like you’re both different.
Her Loss.

[Finchie40]

Yea , I gave her too many chances and she keeps failing , to the point I have nothing left to give her but friendship at this point , the girl has serious issues and I can’t fix her , I feel bad for her and I still care about her but I realized I am selling myself short by constantly giving to her , now that I am not giving onto her is making her panic even more , I am just over being taken for granted , my friends’ and family said for years why do I put up with her? Because apparently I was blind and thinking love will save the day , it saved her day but not mine , I will always care about her and wish for the best for her , she is the mother of my children but she has shit on me way too many times to the point I have nothing left to give her , We have tried marriage counseling but that was a waste of time , I even went to a counseling by myself , and my counselor even told me I need to get away from her , it’s like she gets off on hurting me and being rude and disrespectful to me , no matter what I do it is never good enough , when I separated from her the first time , i eventually met great girls’ that were kind and respectful but sadly I didn’t trust it because my wife was kind and respectful as well when we first met , but sadly she changed on me shortly after I said Ii Do , thinking I was going to spend role rest of my life with this girl that I considered at the time my best friend , sadly that all changed when she got herself addicted to social media and started comparing our lives to other peoples’ lives , making disrespectful comments to me that I wasn’t a real man , a real man does this and does that , he takes his wife on fancy trips and vacations , he builds her things , so no matter what I did for her was never enough , she always had an excuse for her selfish behavior never admitting she was wrong , She stopped being intimate and affectionate with me and acted like I had to earn it from her , if I forgot to do one thing or I missed a spot after

[Finchie40]

Cleaning the counter , I was a horrible guy , to the point I thought to myself who does this girl think she is? Like she is always perfect? I tolerated this abuse for a long time , mainly for my kids , and my final straw was when I walked in my bedroom after my shower and she looked at me with disgust , like I was ugly all of a sudden , That’s when I told her I want a divorce , and told her to pack her shit and get out or I will have her removed , she grabbed her things and left and moved In with her Mom Shirtly after that I met another girl that treated me like Gold she looked at me like i was the most beautiful thing to her eyes , saying all positive things to me , she had me floating on clouds , by the way she treated me , i felt loved and wanted again , and felt respected and appreciated , things were going great between us for a good 6 months until her husband knocked on my door , so that was the end of that , shortly after that I lost my brother and then my mom 3 months apart from each other , my ex was by my side and stood by me , so I gave her another chance , worst mistake of my life

[Finchie40]

So here I am still struggling , I was laid off from my job at the beginning of this year and she changed on me again , seeing her true colors shine right in front of my face to the point I threw in the towel again to her and now she is acting like I am supposed to just give her another chance? The girl needs serious mental help and I can’t fix her , hopefully someone else can because I can’t do it anymore , I realize I deserve better , someone that stays by my side through the ups and downs life throws at us , she just wants what’s best for her , she likes the convenience of people but she truly doesn’t know how to love. I feel bad for whoever ends up with her sorry ass

[MEAZPAPop]

It is good to maintain the affections between exes if possible.

[Flower7]

No, stop going back to her.

[smashleyy]

Means they got their claws in you again

[scott04sa22]

Stop going to her